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“Strengthen ye the weak hands and confirm the feeble knees. Say to them that are of a fearful heart,’ Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will come.”Isaiah 35: 3-4

Today I had to admit that I was afraid. Actually, I was afraid to admit that I was afraid to admit that I was afraid.

Lately, some of my readers and some of my friends may have noticed that I have not been writing about catching fish or even going fishing and I have even re-run some articles from times past. I was afraid to admit that I was afraid to admit that I had been sick, in the hospital, in ICU and in a long term physical recovery program and that I was human and not a super-fisher-woman.

It is funny because I not afraid to admit that I am afraid of some things: Catching a trout while wade fishing that is bitten in half by a shark; Underwater rocks that seemingly get right in your way so that they can take chunks out of your old legs: Nests of Stingrays that I wade through doing the fisherman’s shuffle and go right up to a stranger’s boat and board it like a Pirate from the Caribbean, not waiting for an invitation: Stepping out of a boat, sinking down to my hips and finding out why that area is called “Boggie Bayou”: Or wading in what men call “chest deep”water and women wade out just as deep and call it, well, something that rhymes with chest and we know what it is.

It is alright to be afraid of scary things and admit being fearful but being afraid of things that may be in the dark but weren’t there when the lights were on or getting panicked because we don’t know what is around a corner we never turned before is really hard to admit. I guess it is reasonable to be afraid of factual things but pretty hard to admit that when it comes to things that involve faith, it is hard to admit that I still become afraid.

Dear Lord, help me admit that when I am afraid and admit it, then, like the scripture says, is when my God will come.