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One of the single most stabilizing factors in a person’s life is the occasional word of reason from a trusted friend, adviser or mentor. These words are often brief and unexpected, but penetratingly powerful to the moment. They catch us off guard and often stay with us for a lifetime. Sometimes they are the definitive weave that clarifies, at least for a precious moment, the tapestry called you.

I remember one such moment. I was only 15, and a freshman in high school. I made the varsity baseball team. There were only nine of us. I was the ninth. I was also the smallest.

My coach, however, was the tallest. Coach Gayle was a 6-foot 6-inch ex-Marine who loved baseball and appreciated life. I can’t remember his face very well, but I can describe his belt buckle in every detail.

He called me aside one day for a brief chat. I already knew what it was about. My hitting slump had become much too routine. Like most of us do when we know we’re in trouble, I raced a gamut of possibilities through my head. He couldn’t cut me from the team. There were only nine of us!

Although he could threaten it anyway claiming he could recruit anyone and be better off than keeping me. Probably he was just going to yell, scream, and grind my ego into the ground. At best, if I were lucky, he would offer some helpful tips on technique while grinding.

But he did none of these. His words caught me off guard. I never saw them coming, which is probably why they remain with me to this day.

As I stood there studying his belt buckle, waiting for the lecture, Coach Gayle softly spoke only four brief sentences. “Lane, you’re trying too hard. Stop trying to be a hitter. Be a baseball player. Play baseball and the hits will come.”

The next game I broke out of my hitting slump.

Coach Gayle may have thought he was helping me with baseball. But, he taught me about life. Or maybe he knew exactly what he was doing. Either way, his words have carried me through many a moment. They have mentored and stabilized my restlessness more than once.

I’ve learned that sometimes when I try too hard, my balance, rhythm and harmony are all off. When I relax, breathe and trust the flow, I become more effective and efficient. I’ve also learned that the zone, flow, enlightenment or whatever we call that moment of inspiration never happens when we try to make it happen. It only comes by accident. There are, however, things we can do to be more accident-prone. One such thing is to be on the lookout for those occasional words of reason. they can come when you least expect it, and from directions you may have never considered. But be sure, whether you hear them, read them, or pray them, those words can change your life.

Lane Johnson, M. Div., LPC, is a licensed counselor and life coach. He welcomes your comments. You can contact him by e-mail at lane@StrategicConnectionGroup.com.