• Originally published May 22, 2008 at 9:08 a.m., updated May 22, 2008 at 9:08 a.m.

When I was 8 years old, I had already mapped out my life. I was going to graduate from college, marry Indiana Jones and travel the world with him as an archeologist-writer-model.

Unfortunately, by the time I was 12, reality set in.

I abandoned archeology once I realized that outside the realm of cinema, it mainly consisted of digging in the dirt in really hot, desolate locations. Not to mention that artifacts are often more of the clay pot variety than the Holy Grail.

As for modeling, well, as it turns out, I did not grow up to be 5-foot 11-inches and 100 pounds (genetics can be so cruel).

And, worst of all, I realized that Indiana Jones was just a fictional character and Harrison Ford was actually engaged to Ally Mc-Need-a-Meal.

But even though I had to abandon my well-thought-out second-grade plans, the fact remains that us chicks dig Indiana Jones (Ha! Get it? Dig? Archeology? Hello? Is this thing on?).

So just what makes this character so irresistible to the opposite sex? Let me count the ways:

1. Indy has what I like to call the Hot Professor Syndrome. In fact, it is my personal belief that Dr. Jones is solely responsible for the increase of young women attending college over the past three decades (imagine my dismay then when I finally did go to college and my professors looked more like the Three Stooges in bifocals).

2. His dad is Sean Connery, and if “The Last Crusade” is any indication, you may just have a shot with both of them.

3. Stubble. Period.

4. That outfit. From the hat, to the whip to that button-up shirt that always seems to have at least six buttons undone, it may just be the most sensual dirt- and blood-covered ensemble ever.

5. Half the time, he has absolutely no idea what he is doing. There is nothing more charming than a man who can blow up the entire Nazi army accidentally and then flash that crooked “whodathunkit?” smile.

6. Did I mention that stubble?

7. He’s timeless. Sure, there are a lot of men us chicks would love to have a May-December romance with (hello, George Clooney), but even in his 60s, Indy takes the viable older man cake.

8. Chicks dig scars.

They say that summer blockbusters are mainly marketed toward men and the latest Indiana Jones movie is no different. But us women know better.

And so we’ll let our male counterparts “drag” us to this action flick as we whine about wanting to see a chick flick with some ridiculous title like “Daffodil Love in Flowery Afternoons.” There’s no need for them to know just how much we want to go see Indiana Jones, too.

And even more importantly, there’s no need for them to know that when we go to sleep that night, we’ll be dreaming about Indy swooping us up on the back of his horse as we ride into the sunset in search of the next great archeological find (like, say, the world’s largest diamond).

So sweet dreams, ladies. I’ll see you at the movies.

Aprill Brandon is a reporter for the Advocate. Contact her at 361-580-6514 or abrandon@vicad.com, or comment on this story at www.VictoriaAdvocate.com.

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