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Modernization of the spoken word

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  • Wes Bloomquist •
  • Originally published January 7, 2009 at 11:36 p.m., updated January 7, 2009 at 11:36 p.m.

"England and America are two countries separated by a common language."

- George Bernard Shaw

Somewhere along the path of time, I lost touch with our language - the modern "English" spoken by the current generation of Americans today.

I mean, I was like 'Wow! What happened?' and they were like 'Oh man, you're out of touch' and I was like 'I know, but what up?'

You know, I am SO not in touch with this form of communication. I mean, I am SO not up to speed on how to talk to younger people, and it's SO not amusing.

It would be the bomb if I could. (I think that's the correct usage of the word.)

Because - you know - we all need to communicate - you know - and well - you know - it's - you know - important.

It's not like I don't try. Just the other day, I told my wife that was a "really bad" outfit she was wearing. But she misunderstood and it took a lot of effort to get out of that one. I thought "really bad" was "really good," but I guess it's not a universal interpretation.

I live in a country where McDonald's restaurants are now "Mickey D's" and male singers have first names like "Marilyn" and "Diddy."

Likewise, hand-held communications devices are called by names that Alexander Graham Bell would never have thought of, and that brings up another language - techno-speak - that has swept the planet and left me behind.

I'm struggling to catch up on "blogging" and, of course, "twittering," but so far, I haven't "tweeted" my first one.

I am still able to talk to young folks who are patient enough to speak to me in the "old language." I certainly can't rise to their lexicon.

And, Lord help me, that modern language is spreading to people closer and closer to my age. It's a terrifying thought, like being told to learn Portuguese overnight.

Oh well, I'm doing the best I can.

So come on, Holmes, how about you meet me in the middle and let's talk?

Peace out.

Jim Bishop is a senior editor for the Advocate. Leave him a message at 361-574-1210 or jbishop@vicad.com or comment on this column at www.victoriaadvocate.com



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