WOW! After reading some of the posts here, I'm more glad than ever that my wife and I had a dog. We had her fixed at six months of age so we never had to worry about unplanned grand-dogs, she never wanted to use the car, she never gave us grief about grades and never out-grew her school shoes.

Omni, it was a joke, but still...............

mimi, you hit the nail on the head. Parents don't have time anymore, or they just don't want to be bothered. Kids do not fear their parents, or what other people think, anymore.
I so appreciate that my parents were strict with me, although I never gave them a minutes worry. I didn't have time for boys in HS. I was there to make good grades and to participate in sports, and after-school activities. I wouldn't have traded that for any boy.

Suzy, to answer your question -- I am in my 40's -- the back side of 40 -- I grew up in an era that found oh let's say 60% of Mom's did not work outside the home... June Clever and all that. I wasn't allowed to "date" until I was 16, and if I went anywher before then, I was highly chaperoned. My parents knew who all my friends were and knew their parents as well. My mom had no problem checking up on me if she doubted me. When I was allowed to date, I had a curfew of midnight. Not one minute later. That meant in the house at midnight, not out in the car making out. I wasn't allowed to go out on school nights unless it was a school or a church function. It didn't take me long to figure out that what could happen after midnight could happen before midnight as well....

These days, parents give their kids way too much freedom. Sometimes, it's not that the parents don't care, but it's that most families depend on both parents working full time to make ends meet. Or it's a single parent home. The kids skip school while the parents are at work, have the boyfriend over and oops ---

But not only that, parents don't check up on their kids. For whatever reason parents think that their kids can be trusted without question. Some how we forgot how manipulative and deceitful we were as teens....

Just a thought.

LOL
I was even thninking that bringing the chastity belt back wouldn't be a bad idea

I'm kind of curious about all of these really young (16 and under) teenagers that are getting pregnant. WHY are they able to go where they want, when they want? Girls that young should not have the freedoms that they do.
When my kids were that young, they didn't run around like that. They rode the bus to school, rode the bus home, and stayed home the rest of the time. If they went somewhere, I knew where, when, with who, and what time they would be home. Their school was a closed campus, so I know they didn't sneak out. If there is one mistake the parents of today are making, is that they let their kids do what they want to do, go where they want to go, and with whoever they want to go with. It is so wrong!!

RU...you have some good points, but I agree with Miguel to a degree as well. Yes teens make stupid decisions...they are still kids...and kids having kids is not fair to either. Yes there are middle class and upper class white girls that get pregnant and have babies as teens as well. Culture though does make a difference in some cases. In some cultures all girls are taught or raised to be are mothers and wives and nothing more. In families where the parents don't hold college degrees, college is often not pushed when it comes to the kids, especially girls. Girls who do not have good self-esteem or who have never given much if any thought about what they want to be or do after high school, or girls who are only encouraged to find a good husband to take care of her can often find themselves at the mercy of bad decisions. For centuries women have been taught to be wives and mothers...and nothing more and that didn't start changing until the middle of the 20th century. Things are changing, but girls need to be taught to spread their wings, seek and work toward the things that interest them and guided to be the best that they can be. There are many women in the world today that have contributed many important and wonderful things to the world and have bettered the lives of others in the process. Women can be wives, and good mothers, and still be all they can be. If a woman lives to be 80...take 18 years for childhood...and 25 for raising children to adulthood...there is still 37 years to live. Teach your girls to spread their wings and fly.

laurali - I know just what you mean. there is plenty of abuse of the system and it makes me furious because it colors the intent of the program.

Little story - I was working in Houston in 1986-87 and I was pregnant with my twins, a member of the working poor class and I probably qualified for all types of govt programs but they make you go thru so much to get them in Houston that it just wasn't worth it. anyways, I worked for Randalls in the morning and Target in the afternoon and once a month this woman would come thru Randalls and buy LOBSTERS with her food stamps. I would almost shake with anger - here I was busting my hump, pregnant as the day is long, working 2 parttime jobs to stay off of welfare and this &$&$&#^#^#^% was coming to my register, every month, and LEGALLY purchasing lobsters with food stamps...

*still seething about that after 22 years*

But, back to the topic - the writer of the letter said something like "is it so hard for teenagers to control themselves?"

Yes, yes, yes, yes! Hormones can be terrible things - ask anyone who has/had a teenage girl at home. and the boys - i can't really blame them when you-know-what gets practically thrown at them on a regular basis.

Really, at that age, with those raging hormones and natural curiousity, it is a normal thing to want to find out what God gave them that equipment for. and all the good parenting in the world goes out the window when they are thinking with their private parts.

All we can do is give them the best parenting we can and be realistic about teenage behavior.

I am not totally opposed to short term help for people who need it to help them get through a rough patch because no one knows when that could happen to them, but it is hard to watch a teenager with a Coach handbag ahead of me in line get a cart full of groceries for little or no money with three kids and a bellyfull when I am cutting coupons that I keep in my Wal-Mart purse. Either that girl always buys groceries on the same day and same checkout lane as I do or there are lots of clones in Victoria!

On another aspect of this argument, I think all parents should have to have a training course with a test while they are at the hospital and if they don't pass, they don't get to take the baby home! Well, maybe a test wouldn't work, but there are too many inept parents these days. I think most parents are good and most love their children and want the best for them, but I have seen way too many people treat their children horribly. Even if someone doesn't have much money or much time, they still need to treat their children like they want them. If they don't want them, the parents should give their children up for adoption. I wish giving children up for adoption to a family who would treat them well and raise them with morals and manners was not such a stigma.

Fan...I'm with you 100% While continued education is important...the school district should work with parents on implementing options that provide a continued education without promoting the appeal of the attention that you speak of in your post to other students in school. Alternative schools should be the place for pregnant students and students with babies and parents should let the school district know that this is what they expect for them to do....those funds that go to the in school day care...can go towards an alternative campus.

This is a topic that is very close to my heart. I have a 16 yr old son and a 15 yr old daughter, so I am very aware of the problem. When they were at Patti Welder a teacher there informed me that PW averages 15 pregnancies a year! In middle School! When my son got to the Stoman Campus he told me about a girl bringing her sonogram picture to school and showing it off to the class. Even the teacher got involved when she said "Oh! Let me see it!" My response to my son was "Why is she there?". When I was in high school, there was an alternative school for pregnant teens to go. Someone recently asked me if I felt like these pregnant teens were going to infect my kid. Well yes, as a matter of fact I do. If my impressionable teenage daughter see another girl who happens to be pregnant being fawned over by everyone including the teacher, then what is she going to think. School is for "normal kids" who are there to get an education. Once a teen becomes pregnant, they go from being a "normal teen" to being a parent. Totally diffent world!

Chica...love your post...thank you for your honesty and for using these services in the way that they are intended to be used...to better your life and the lives of your children. VBB...you are correct also...there are those "princesses...who have the "everyone owes me because I am a princess" attitude...and we can thank their over indulgent parents for that....however they are not the representitive of the majority.
Trueomni....I hope you are not a parent especially of a daughter and likewise I hope you do not work with teens.

darlins64.

Just for the record I did not say that you claimed everyone qualifies for WIC or otherwise I would have used quotation marks. I was merely making a point that not everyone qualifies for it.

If your daughter and her husband are on the road to a successful life then you have done something right as a parent. Unfortunately, too many stories out there in this world don't have that same outcome.

As for me saying that you were proud of her for being on WIC, your posting just came off that way. Personally, that isn't information I would want to share with people. If you do, that's your right but there will always be someone out there that won't agree with it. That's reality and I love the fact that as Americans we have the luxury of being able to say what we think regardless of who agrees with us or not.

Great post Chica, there of a lot of hard working young mothers trying the best for there children.

A little help,WIC, goes a long way. It's not the keys to the kingdom, it's a few gallons of milk, some cheese and eggs.

That's not a big thing and doesn't cost that much. ( Well milk does these days, it's more expensive than gasoline.)

darlins - amen! i think this entire thread demonstrates how the actions of a few affect the perception of the programs.
I was once a "welfare mom" - husband ran off and didn't provide for my 4 kids and I finally had to swallow my pride and apply for government assistance. It just KILLED my pride but you have to do what you have to do to provide for your kids, right? For 4 kids, circa 1990, we got $246 cash to pay rent, lights, gas, and water, $400 in foodstamps which I made stretch for a month, and medicaid (the most valuable thing the govt offered).
The program was designed for moms like i was but other people give it such a bad name. We were on WIC too when the kids were small and that was a blessing as well. I participated in the JOBS program also.
I can't say that I ever liked being on the programs and it was certainly a downer to apply every few months. The caseworkers can make it very difficult and often do not have helpful attitudes - they too think everyone is just after the government teat. It would be nice if people didn't characterize all people who are on public assistance as scammers.
Sometimes these programs are the only thing between homelessness and hunger. Remember, most participants are white women with children who would be hungry and going without healthcare (and in your hospital emergency rooms for earaches). Believe me, they don't make it a picnic for you when you need those programs.
BTW - I am a success story for those programs. I got a job, let my govt assistance expire, worked for and received a bachelor's and master's degree and am a fairly successful career woman. I know of other young women at the college where I work who are on assistance and working toward 2 year degrees.
When used as intended, public assistance can be a valuable tool in what used to be called "the war on poverty" and for many many women and children it is a lifeline.

Mimi, your tallking to 5th graders, try talking to 15 yr olds. My daughter went to school with some girls who actually told me they aspired to have a "sugar daddy" & be "kept" & they knew what it meant! These were also middle class girls. The lower class girls aspired to be strippers & a few of them, after graduation fulfilled their dreams. I was dumbfounded.

Goliadchica, I am glad that you clarified that information. And yes, I knew that there was a lifetime maximum amount one could receive in TANF/AFDC. I also know that WIC has an age limit.

I do not think these programs are a bad thing, because there are times when someone needs a helping hand... but I also know that there are people who will take advantage of the system.

Teenagers who find themselves pregnant do not purposely do so just so they can get a free ride from the government -- they weren't thinking about anything other than raging hormones!

TrueOmni, you said: "Most that I've talked to instead have much more grand aspirations... they aspire to marry a rich man.By the time they realize that poor, uneducated, overly-opinionated women have nothing to offer a rich man it's too late to suddenly start developing a life plan that doesn't involve handouts" These are the women who value babies based on their government stipend, and these women do exist (in droves)."
Honestly, that is the most IGNORANT statement that has been posted on this website EVER. Not only is it ignorant, but is very, very wrong! Most young teenage girls have aspirations of going to college and doing something meaningful with their lives! Don't believe me? Go to Dudley Elementary School (one in a very poor side of town) and ask any 5th grade girl what she wants to do with her life --- more than likely she will tell you she wants to become a doctor, lawyer, marine biologist, the president, nurse, teacher --- Not one of them will tell you that they want to find a rich man to marry! Then go to Howell, Crain or Patti Welder and ask the same question. You will find that reality is starting to set in and while their aspirations are not as lofty, they still want to better themselves and make something out of their life! Not even on the Sr. Campus are you going to find a single young lady whose only goal in life is to find a rich man to marry them. That's just unrealistic! Prove your statement; show us your data ---

darlins wrote:"One thing that can be done to cut down on the AMOUNT of public assistance --- lower or disqualify women who refuse to give correct information about the fathers."

They actually do this already.

"The State also needs to make surprise home visits to the recipients and see who is living in the home. That will cut back on the people who are abusing the system and lying and cheating."

They do this as well.

"Require all people receiving public assistance: TANF/AFDC, Food Stamps, Government housing to pass a drug test every month before they get their benefits --- and I'll bet you that will cut back on the program..."

They test women who have babies on public assistance and each person signing up for TANF (Temporary Aid to Needy Families) has to sign a paper saying they will submit to testing and it is up to the caseworkers to decide if they need it.

They also - inspect you home every 6 months when you live in public housing, get records from the IRS on your reported income, and basically make you grovel when you apply for benefits. TANF is only good for 5 years total for your life, you living on "welfare" is not an option forever. A mom can get foodstamps and medicaid and public housing assistance but the check (which is really quite small, especially in Texas)is taken away after 5 years.

The point of all these programs is to help the children, not the parents. It isn't much monetarily but being able to take your kids for medical treatment is priceless. The kids didn't ask to be in this world and they should not suffer for the stupidity of their parents by being denied food, shelter, and healthcare.

The subject is teen pregnancy is a problem in Victoria..emphasis on teenage.
"they aspire to marry a rich man"
Is there a credible reference where this statement can be verified?
These are the women who value babies based on their government stipend, and these women do exist (in droves).
Teenagers value a government stipend? Droves? 

No,the sinkhole is $10-12 billion a month in Iraq...No bid contracts,cronyism etc...Not helping those in need..IMO

The problem of teen pregnancy has been here since day one and no amount of tough love or programs will stop it.....Perhaps the answer is to go to New York,Rhode Island, and North Dakota to see what they are doing,if anything to help with teenage pregnancy (those states are awful close to Canada)......Get it; in some states teenage pregnancy is coming down without reduction in federal programs.

In all my 35 years of working with kids I have NEVER EVER had one tell me that they wanted to grow up to have a career of being on welfare. Teen pregnancy does not come about because of a desire to get on WIC or Welfare.

Sexual desires and activity is a natural state of being human. Puberty is the time when these harmones are awakened. Prior to the 20th century marriages of young people as early as the age of 13 were common. The natural occurance of the awakening of these harmones have not changed...it is the moral and religious views and acceptance that have. There is nothing wrong with the changes in our views and acceptance, but we still have to understand that regardless what we believe to be acceptable, the physical and emotional changes have not changed with our beliefs.

Ignoring the subject with your children is not the answer, and believeing that your child would never engage in sex before marriage is asking for trouble. Parents need to give their kids the knowledge they need about these changes and a scope of other life choices to choose from if and when this temptation comes up. Unless you plan on locking your teen in a closet from the age of 13 to 18, the odds that your child will at least one time find themselves in that one time and place where they must choose is almost assured. The key is to give them reasons to make the right choice. Parents who allow their girls to dress in a skimpy and sexual manner, or allow their girls to date boys that are 5+ years older then they are, who don't know where and what their kids are doing, and are not keeping tabs on what they are texting, putting on the web, or watching on TV, you tube, or the movies....you are asking for trouble when these years roll around.
Pregnant teens are not always from homes in which the mother was also a unwed pregnant teen...what an ignorant statement. They come from all walks of life, good homes and bad, well to do families, and poor families. The truth is that when it gets right down to it...it is their choice and they will make it when it presents itself, and parents can't control anything in that moment.

Teen pregnancy is not new...when the morals changed there were a bevy of "homes" for girls who were pregnant to go and have their babies, often given up for adoption so there was no humiliation for their families in the 30's and 40's, and even as late as the 70's a pregnant girl at school generated lots of gossip. Now there are day cares at schools.

I personally don't like having day care in public schools. It does send messages to other students in school that are not positive. Anyone who has teenage girls or works with teenage girls know that girls at this age....love attention and drama. There has been a rise of teen pregnancies over the past couple of decades, and many of them are intentional, not because of wanting to be on welfare...but because those girls that are pregnant or have babies in the day care get special attention as well as special treatment in leaving class to check on their baby, or getting out early so they can go get their baby...etc. The extra attention is appealing to some teenage girls...especially if they do not have a strong self-esteem to begin with.
I do think that it is important that girls who are pregnant or who have babies while they are in school do need and should finish their education and have the opportunity to recieve life skills that will keep them off of welfare and able to provide a stable and good life for themselves and their children. This education however needs to be taken to an alternative school that is seperate from the main public school campuses. Alternative schools are also set up to specialize in helping students with problems and set backs. One thing for sure...if we don't help these kids when they are in trouble...they will become our problems in the future be it by adding to the already stretched welfare programs or add to the ever increasing number of crimes that are present in our country today.

One way or the other we will have to deal with teen pregnancy...I think we sould do the best we can for our kids from the beginning.

I just went back and re-read the post in which Texasnurse claims I stated that anyone/everyone qualifies for WIC ---
I don't see it, does anyone else? I merely stated that it was not the same as Food Stamps/Lone Star Card.

I'd also like to know where he/she interprets that I was bragging that my daughter received WIC....

Texasnurse, you had all the facts about the program, but you didn't have your facts about my comment!

Trueomniscience
I don't disagree that good parenting and sound decisions by our teens would alleviate the problem but it is well above my pay grade to look inside the minds of young teens.

… I am a product of the 60s and I don’t know many of us that were on the goody two shoes, all-saints team(myself included)….. As I recall abortion rates did not start coming down until 1990 and the population has grown, so it is unfair to use one era against another. Too many variables.IMO

I am not in the health industry but I assume if you limit the teen’s options, they will turn to abortion…. I don't know that for a fact.

I think it's great to make sure infants and children under 5 get off to a great nutritional start; because in our system we will save money in the long run for more expensive procedures.

The farmers and grocers benefit when the government buys the nutritional food; so it is not money going into a sink hole.

Texasnurse - I didn't say I was PROUD of the fact that my daughter receives WIC. I merely stated that she did.... yes, both she and her husband are able bodied, and yes, both of them work. During her pregnancy, her doctor referred her to WIC. The do not now, nor have they ever, received food stamps or AFDC. I do not ask how much money they make, as I feel that isn't my business since they have never asked me or anyone else for that matter, for any help. They pay their bills and have private health insurance. She did not get pregnant before getting married and was an adult when she did both. Neither my daughter nor my son-in-law would EVER participate in de-frauding the government for one cent! You don't know me and you don't know my daughter, so I resent your implication of that! That was a horrible thing to say!  I am proud of what my daughter is -- a loving child, a doting mother, a good wife, a full-time college student and a part-time home health care provider. Other than that, I concede that I did not have my facts straight about the WIC program, and thanks for your input. BTW, $35K per year --- that's about what a 1st year teacher makes ---
Oh, and let me just add this:   I spoke to my sister-in-law who works for DHS -- over the past few years, DHS and other entities such as Child Support Enforcement, are now tied into a state-wide data bank.  If you work and your employer files quarterly reports, your income history is easily accessible.  So that makes it harder for people to lie about their income. 

Ok True- Let's say that an unborn baby is not a U.S. citizen. Nothing changes the fact that killing a person is murder, whether he/she is a U.S. citizen or not. Preborn babies are people waiting to be born. My personal stance on the issue is to prevent legalized murder.

TrueOmniscience.

Thank you for making some sense.

People need to admit that we live in a society that rewards bad behavior and this generation of teenagers have a sense of entitlement. How many can you name that EXPECT a car on their 16th birthday, EXPECT their parents to pay for their college, and EXPECT their parents to support them if they have an "accident". What ever happened to buying a car yourself after you have gotten a job, paying for college yourself (by working, applying for scholarships, etc). Alot of that is the parents fault for spoiling their kids and "giving them what they never had". Before you misquote me, not all teenagers are like this and there some really good kids out there. As for the pregnancy thing goes, I can understand having one "accident" and helping a woman through that. But if you haven't learned after the first accident what causes it and have more than one then you should be on your own!

Amazing, the thread”Teenage pregnancy is a problem in Victoria”, turns into an idealogical, race, public assistance argument.

One poster bragged on social conservatism values, but yesterday’s news didn’t back that up unless you want to somehow say only the liberals in the two of three red states caused those states to have the highest teen rate in the country.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Mississippi has claimed the distinction of having the highest teen birth rate in the United States, a figure more than three times higher than the states with the lowest rates, health officials said on Wednesday.
Mississippi, a comparatively poor state in the South, had a rate of 68.4 births per 1,000 women ages 15 to 19 in 2006, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said in a report. That marked a 13 percent increase over 2005.
Mississippi often performs badly in health rankings. For example, 33 percent of its population is obese, the highest in the nation.
New Mexico (a rate of 64.1 per 1,000) and Texas (63.1) were next on the list, according to the CDC. Those two states had been tied for the highest in the nation the previous year.
Teen birth rates were highest in the South and Southwest and lowest in the Northeast, the CDC said. The lowest rates were recorded in New Hampshire (18.7), Vermont (20.8) and Massachusetts (21.3), according to the report.
The only states with a decrease in teen birth rates from 2005 to 2006 were North Dakota, Rhode Island and New York

http://www.reuters.com/article/domest...

Welfare, public housing, WIC are after –the- fact issues and I would be willing to bet (like in the 60s) teenagers will not take that into consideration this week-end when they are alone.

According to the WIC website only the NUTRITION RISK qualify for nutrition program.
Nutrition risk: Anemia, underweight, or a history of complicated pregnancies.

Of the 7.9 million who received benefits from WIC in 2004 4 million were children under 5(a requirement) 2 million were infants and 1.9 million were women….Want to get rid of this program contact your local representative and ask him to submit a bill to get rid of this after-the-fact nutritional program because you feel it is one of the reasons for teenage pregancies...Good luck

Now I am guilty of adding idealogical substance instead of solutions or sensible ideas.

darlins64.
I've stayed out of this topic til now. You claimed yesterday that cedarpost didn't have a clue. Here are some facts for you. I did some research about WIC. Not everyone qualifies.
To qualify a household income earns at or below 185 percent of the federal poverty income level. Example: A family of four can not earn more than 39,220 dollars a year to qualify for WIC. Guess that leaves my family out. You can double check this at www.dshs.state.tx if you don't believe me.
In addition to income requirements WIC applicants must also meet nutritional requirements.  As stated on the website I listed above "be at nutritional risk ,have a history of poor pregnancy outcome, underweight status, iron-deficient anemia, diet based risks such as poor eating habits.  
You also shared with us that  your married daughter has one child.  According to WIC guidelines her and her husband must not make more than 32,560 dollars a year.  If they are two young able bodied individuals they aren't bringing a whole lot home or are they lying to WIC to receive freebies?
Check your facts before calling someone out and don't be so proud that your daughter and her husband pick up freebies from WIC.

wayward- thanks...the respect is mutual. ;)

Catholicgirl...I can respect your anti-abortion beliefs and your public demonstrations of that belief. I don't agree with them, but I do respect them.
The one I do not, cannot, and will not ever respect is the Paul Tasin letter in the VA this morning that equates porn with adultery and another diatribe against birth control. This guy is round the bend with his anti-birth control bashes. I"m guessing he won't be happy until EVERY act of sex results in a woman becoming pregnant.

This thread is becoming too hot! I think we all need to calm down and take a breath.

With the exception of one or 2 comments, I respect everyone's opinions here. We all have a different perspective on the cause/effect of this "epidemic" of teen pregnancy. Most of them are valid.

I do not believe that doing away with TANF/AFDC, Food Stamps and WIC would do anything to lower the teenage pregnancy rate in Victoria, Texas or the U.S.

I do believe that teenagers, from the beginning of time until the end of time, no matter what the circumstances are, will be having unprotected sex, and not thinking about the consequences.

I had a wonderful relationship with both my dad and my mom. Both were loving and attentive and positive influences in my life. I had sex anyway as a teen. I knew it was against my religious beliefs and that it was contrary to the values and morals my parents tried to instill in me. But I made my own choice. It had nothing whatsoever to do with them.

I think my biggest concern in this day and age, are the 10, 11 and 12 year olds that are not only sexually active, but are having babies. Even at 13, 14, 15--- that's way too young and is frightening.

I concede that the traditional family is becoming extinct. And I wish I knew why that is. I see many couples living together and having several children, but not getting married. And it's not just the lower income. Yes, I see the birth announcements in the Advocate.... more and more I see unmarried couples listed....

As the parent of 4 children, and being a "working class" family, I will tell you this from experience: My husband and I spend time with our children. We have what my children used to call "super strict" rules. We wanted the best for our kids and wanted them to make good decisions... We tried to instill in them the values and morals our parents tried to instill in us. But they made their own decisions just like we did.

As for abortion, well, I am I suppose pro-choice, but I chose life! I agree that standing alongside a public throughfare, holding up pictures of fetuses is disgusting! On the other hand, I don't believe abortion should be a method of birth control. If you don't want a baby then use protection or don't have sex. But don't have unprotected sex and be surprised when you end up pregnant and then go have an abortion. Off topic, but important for me to say: Banning abortion will only create backstreet butchers as it was prior to Roe v. Wade. --- and in my opinion, with the abundance, availability and variety of birth control methods, abortion should be obsolete.

One thing that can be done to cut down on the AMOUNT of public assistance --- lower or disqualify women who refuse to give correct information about the fathers. The governement will go after these dads and force them to pay support for the child, thereby lightening the load on the mom and the state. The State also needs to make surprise home visits to the recipients and see who is living in the home. That will cut back on the people who are abusing the system and lying and cheating. Require all people receiving public assistance: TANF/AFDC, Food Stamps, Government housing to pass a drug test every month before they get their benefits --- and I'll bet you that will cut back on the program.....

Just my final thoughts: Depending on your religious beliefs, Wasn't Mary, Mother of Christ a teenage mom????

Ringer... it's not really the FACT that my dad is a strong man.. BUT HE HAS BEEN THERE SINCE DAY 1! He's been there for me everyday of my life.. Not one day has he walked out. I got pregnant on my own. Yes my parents were not happy but you know what they came to cope with it! It's their grandchild! It's not your business whether my FATHER has been there or not. But you know what I'm telling you that he has been there my WHOLE LIFE! And it's funny because you say "my father must have not been there much in my life due to the fact I'm pregnant"... GUESS WHAT! My uncle has been there since DAY 1 in my cousin's life.. The day she ran away, came crawling back... EVERYTHING she has done.. He's been there... And GUESS WHAT!!! She's pregnant with her 3rd kid being 20 years old. So rethink what you say!

It is intended that pro-life advocates take a peaceful, public stand for the sake of the life of the most defenseless, the unborn babies. Speaking for myself, we hold those signs out of love and care for the babies and their mothers and fathers. If even one child is spared being murdered, then it is all worth it. Remember, freedom of speech and such, we're uniting for the freedoms that are taken away from that tiny American citizen, an American citizen no matter the size, age, race, etc. ; especially the basic right to live!

You have no idea how I hate it when I agree with southtexas, but I am with her on this topic.  She's said it well.
As for Sandwichh--I don't understand your statement about Bristol Palin and her BOYFRIEND (he's not Sarah Palin's son-in-law--yet). Because she is from a CONSERVATIVE family, she should not be lumped in with all the 'other' unwed parents? Since we know that Sarah Palin charged the state of Alaska for staying in her own home and charged the state of Alaska for travel for her children to events they were not officially invited to, how can you be sure that the welfare department of the state of Alaska did not pay the medical bills for the delivery of Tripp?

You know what else does not help....Those disgusting people holding those signs up on Sam Houston about anti abortion. I do not believe in it for myself but that is my choice to make. I think that strangers holding abortion signs make the teenagers think that having the baby is the best thing they can do. I really think in encourages teenagers to have babies. Those signs are so horrible. I could care less if Jane Doe has a abortion its her body, its her choice, and its her facing her god. We are not here to Judge. LIKE I SAID IN THE BEGINNING SO IT IS NOT MISREAD. I PERSONALLY WOULD NOT HAVE ONE. So please you pro lifers do not attack me as I am pro choice, with pro life beliefs for me only!

Ok I was a teenage mom. I had both my kids before I was 19. I was not on the system because in those days 24 yrs ago if you were married you did not qualify. That is what I was told anyway. Yes I married at 17, my marriage lasted 25 years but ended due to factors not associated with teens marrying so young. I was the exception to the rule. I was responsible and I did make something for my life and I am proud of that. BUT I tell all the little girls around me. Do as I say not as I did. I struggled. I barely made it. I had things happen to me in the first 5 years of motherhood some people have never seen in their entire life. My children were born premature, very ill and have been brought back to life many times. Tube feedings, heart monitors, many surgeries, the whole nine yards. I had to work two sometimes three jobs. I had to say no a lot to the things my kids wanted and I had to do with out a lot of things I wanted and missed out on all what my friends got to have and do. Would I go back and change it NO! Do I recommend it HECK NO! I say Educate not only about pregnancy but disease as well. Scary thought all those teen moms were unprotected. What were they exposed to? I thank god everyday for protecting me when I made those irreversible decisions. Not everyone is so lucky or shall I say blessed. Oh yeah I never had any more kids either by choice!

Ringer - My dad is a very strong man! Has ALWAYS been an input in my life. My mother is a very strong person. BOTH of them have been influences in my life. I decided to do as I wished. And they BOTH stand behind me.

southtexas.Thank you for making your statements, you make valid points. Hey, BIGJ, you want to bash southtexas now for bringing up the medicaid thing? I'm sure you're dying to. As for political parties go, it doesn't matter who is a republican or who is a democrat. We all have to learn to live together and we all have our own views. Have any of you thought about the possibility that some bloggers are merely stirring the pot just so they can get you all worked up....it's working and it's quite funny.

Izzy and some of the rest of you....there absolutely are a lot of teen mothers who are excellent parents...who marry the father of their child and who have long marriages. No one is denying that.

That is not even what is being discussed. The fact that more than 50% of the infants born at one local hospital are Medicaid babies makes a statement.

The fact that a significant percentage of newborns have parents that are not married makes a statement.

The fact that there is no social stigma associated with being pregnant outside of marriage makes a statement.

That statement is that the family is disappearing, and it is a sad thing.

High school drop out rate out the roof.....parents are not involved.

Everything is connected and how can it be stopped?

Thank you BigJ, I have found myself agreeing with you on this also. See, we aren't so different after all!

shhhhh....

She will find out soon enough how hard it is going to be. We can say it til we are blue in the face & stricken with carpal tunnel syndrome, but, until you live it, you can't possibly understand.

I do agree with you about people abusing the system, I don't like it either. I would love to take the percentage of my taxes that goes towards those milking the system & give it to my child, but I can't, don't think I haven't tried to find a way to do it. But, to say ALL or even MOST young mothers are "sucking off the government tit failures" is a bit high. It may take them a little bit longer than the girls who go the "traditional" route, but you would be surprised how many of them do make something of themselves. Like I said previously, there is a lot to be said for the initial struggle, it opens peoples eyes quickly.

I had a rough start in my adult life. My mom asked me one day if I could go back & change it all, would I? I quickly responded NO I would not. She looked rather surprised by my answer & asked why not. My response is simple, 1) I wouldn't have my daughter, who means more to me than life itself & 2) What I went through made me the person I am today & I kinda like me. For once, she actually agreed with me.

Thank you for recanting your words. It's nice to see there are other proud Republicans out & about. Have a good night.

Ummm, yes I can read. And yes I am adult enough to recant my comment to you about saying you give all women a bad name. I seriously doubt you will do the same for me. If you can read yourself, did you not see that I hoped things work out for that young girl (that she has happiness and success). I am not trying to squash her dreams but merely point out the harsh reality of what any teenage mother would face. It's not going to be an easy road for her as I'm sure you know by personal experience. I find it funny how people have said much worse things than myself for example: bringing up certain races that have high pregnancy rates, abortion, AIDS, etc and they aren't receiving a bashing. Nor should they. Freedom of speech people. Honestly, I am so over this topic. None of us have the answer. However, if any of you find a way for taxpayers to opt out of paying for teenage pregnancies let me know. I know I won't be the only one in line for that! We can all dream, right?

Ummmm, obviously YOU can't read as I stated I was MARRIED at 16 & had a child a few months before I turned 18. I was living on my own & since I left my parents home at 16, never needed to ask them for 1 blessed penny. I also was not BRAGGING, merely pointing out all young mothers are not losers who are sucking the lifes blood out of society.
Victoriagirl stated she was going to graduate high school & continue on to college. Who are YOU to discourage HER from her dream? Just because she happens to be pregnant does not make that an impossible task. I was merely trying to point out that if people want something bad enough they can accomplish it, regardless of their situation. A baby is not the end of ones life, it is just the beginning.

How am I giving republican women a bad name when I want to live in a society that encourages our youth to get an education before having a child. You are entitled to your opinion as I am to mine. That 18 year old was the one who claims she can make it on her own. I was only wanting to know why she isn't on her own when she claims she can. If I were you I wouldn't be bragging about having a child as a teenager . Good for you that you are happy now but don't brag about getting knocked up so young. YOU give not only republican women a bad name but all women....

Republicanwoman08, I too am a Republican woman, who at the age of 16 got married & moved out on my own. We had an apartment, paid our bills & were able to make ends meet. I was 16, he was barely 18. I got pregnant & had my daughter a few months before my 18th birthday & by 19 I was divorced with a 1 yr old. Only for a few months did I recieve any financial assistance & only for a few months did I stay with my parents before moving back out on my own.

You should never say at 18 people aren't capable of taking care of themselves & handling lifes responsibilities. Some people are & some people aren't be they 18 or 48. Everyones different, it all goes back to how you are raised & what goals you have for yourself. Just because one is young & pregnant doesn't mean they don't possess any ambition or have any dreams.

You give republican women everywhere a bad name.

I wanted to add that from the day we were born we never lived with a relative. My mom had her own place. When my grandfather passed away when i was 5 she was able to buy a house for us. She did it on her own the best she could.

I wish the teen mother (victoriagirl361) all the best and hope for her sake and the child's sake that she beats the odds and does not become a statistic. She does need to realize though that she is only 18 and has not experienced real life. She is living with her parents who are helping her during this difficult time. I'm not dogging that. But at 18 she is not able to totally support herself and a child otherwise why isn't she living on her own. If she can pay her own rent, car payment, utilities, food, healthcare, etc. then why isn't she doing so now? Because she can't. No 18 year old that I know is capable or educated enough at that point in their life to acquire a job that would pay for all that. We are all facing uncertain economic times and bringing a child into uncertain times is not wise.

I just wanted to chime in. My mother turned 16 a month before my twin and I were born. By the time she was 22 she had 4. We did struggle but with help from my grandmother and my mother working hard we NEVER had government help. My mother graduated from High School and College. She has multiple degrees. As for the four of us we all have at least 3 degrees and have successful careers. My mom be came a grandmother for the first time a little over a year ago from my youngest sister who was 25 and had been married for 2 years.

Yes she made a mistake when she was younger. I'm proud the she decided to keep all of us and raise us herself. She worked hard to make sure we had all we needed. Not all children of teenage mothers end up that way. I'm proud to say that we broke the stigma that come the teenage mother and children.

BIGJ
I have been reading the postings and it seems that you go out of your way to be rude to other bloggers that don't agree with you. For example telling people to "shut up". We will not all agree with each other and that is why we are lucky to be Americans. It's called freedom of speech. You have a right to say what you want but there's a more tactful way to disagree with other bloggers.

Sick of this subject... ME TOO! Let's talk FOOTBALL......
http://community.victoriaadvocate.com...

kids and their body's, always exploring

well said, victorianbybirth and a "shout out to Red Rage" (long time no speak)

The only reason I said "no aid" is to jolt some people into being more responsible. Kids would be a little more careful "if" they knew that they were gonna hurt their families and more parents would get off their duffs and take control of their kids "if" they knew that they would be responsible for their costs. I have a feeling that more kids would be staying home at night, more parents would supply BC for their kids, and more parental oversight would be happening.
Kids have way too much freedom these days

BigJ,

The more you write on here the more evidence you leave on the WWW of your complete lack of maturity and maybe even intelligence. Go back to your blog where you can copy and paste. That is a great article you put on your blog, the "stuff" you've written on this forum- not so much!

Let me add that we were very poor when I waas first married & I knew that when I chose to do it. We did have what we neededto live. There is a lot to be said for the initial struggles in life, as it taught me very important life lessons as how to save for what you want while paying for what you need. It also made me more appreciative of what I have now that I have more than 2 pennies to rub together. Just because one starts out their adult life in the hole, doesn't mean they can't dig themselves out with a lot of hard work & determination.

I was an upper middle class teen mom, but I got married first. I still got the ugly looks & nasty comments. When me & my hubby parted, my mom drug me down to the Dept of Health & Human Services. Her reasoning was they (my Parents) paid a lot of taxes & I deserved to get some of their money back. I was horrified, to say the least. I got $90 a month AFDC & around $100 a month in food stamps. When I had to go back & renew a few months later I told them thanks, but no thanks. The lady told me the way to get more was to have more kids. I told her I already had 1 I was struggling to support, I certainly didn't need anymore. I had a job as a waitress at the time, not making very much, 2.01 an hour plus tips, so I changed jobs. It was a struggle, but the $200.00 was not worth the humiliation.

Today, my daughter is grown & she is an only child. She is in college, has a great boyfriend who is also in college fixing to graduate & together they have a beautiful daughter who is 18 months old. They wanted to get married but his mother would not allow it, as they have excellent insurance that he can stay on until he is 23. I was not happy about her forcing her decision on them but I know as soon as he graduates they will get married.
They live with me & my husband & though they don't pay rent, they do pay for their own wants & needs. My daughter is very talented & has done well with her bow business that she fell into when she realized how expensive bows were & she could make them herself. Now she is in 3 baby boutiques & has a successful website. She is able to make enough to pay for everything they need & she has time to take her classes & take care of the baby.
Because they live with us, they are not eligible for any assistance at all, not even WIC, though we do not support them financially. It is a catch 22. I too pay out the ying yang in taxes & wouldn't mind her getting back some of what was once mine. But, I am happy they will be productive members of society & they didn't get any handouts.

Even though my daughter nor her daughter were planned, they are the biggest blessings of my life. Yes, they could have come at more convenient times, but then they wouldn't be them. Times were tough when it was just me & her, but we made it through. She is going through her tough time as well, but she sees the light at the end of the tunnel. Bottom line is, love your kids, don't ever make them feel unwanted, talk to them even when you don't think they listen & be supportive, but don't make them co-dependant. Make them responsible for what they do but don't stop supporting them emotionally along their way. Things have a way of working out in the end.

Good grief this has became a hot topic. Sex is human nature, some hold back some don't. That's just the way it is. Some people understand it was a mistake and try to make the best of it possible, some others have a different opinion. True there are some that abuse the system, I've seen it myself. Have another child because little Johnny starts school next year and they will cut the food stamps. On the other hand there are lots of young couples who both work full time but yet still can't quite make ends meet. Some posts suggest no government aid, now come on who is that going to hurt the most? The child that's who. So what should we do? I honestly don't have a answer, as one 18 year old posted things are different. Yes they are, for better or worse, but they are. Kick them all to the curb and act like they don't exist? No help no support no anything? That would really help things, talk about spending tax $$$ geez. Thank God they have families that understand things happen, and sometimes you have to deal with it. Again, I have no answer, but the only one that has been posted was catholicgirls. So keep on debating, pro or con, just to be able too.

VicGirl- I don't believe you have a clue as to what your getting yourself into, however, take it from me. Your in a serious relationship with your boyfriend because for some reason or another you need to feel loved. It took me about ten years, after the birth of my son, to get this sh!t straight so pay attention and I'll speed you up on things.

No. 1 There isn't a man in this world that will replace your Father. Depending on how active he is in your life, which I'd say he's NOT, I already know he hasn't been around much. Had he, you'd have more respect for yourself and for your unborn child and would have waited to have sex in the first place.

no. 2-I'm sorry that you have fallen short of nothing more than a statistic but take it from me, you can overcome all that, and truly make right of your wrong--- IF YOU CHOSE TOO!

no 3.- Use your determination and drive to change your life rather than defend it!

no. 4- Somehow find a way to feel the void in your life that makes you feel abandon so that you don't pass these feelings on to your own child.

and last no. 5- read, pray, and do whatever it takes to LEARN to LOVE--- YOU! DO NOT accept anyone else's love, UNTIL you learn to FIRST- love yourself!

Good Luck and all the best...Life will be difficult and extremely hard at times but trust me when I say, if I can overcome and conquer SO CAN YOU!

P.S. There's a letter in my blog you may need to make a copy of and store back for later.  I first wrote it for my own son when he was ten. 

Hey Darlins64 let me enlighten you, WIC is still government funded. As for all the items you listed, HEB has them for SALE any given day of the week. Some people need (TEMPORARY) help, not tax payer support for the rest of their lives. Some, if not most people fall on hard times. But that doesn't mean one has to create those problems to get a check so to speak. When I was 18 there wasn't a damn soul that could tell me what to do or give me advice, if you know what I mean. I had to figure out on my own, that my parents weren't so stupid.

VictoriaGirl, I too commend you for wanting to keep your baby. At least your not planning to abort it, put it up for adoption, or leave it in a dumpster. Call my last comment being an a-hole, but it's just tough love. GOOD LUCK!! Remember do it yourself, that means no WIC or Lonestar Cards for us to pay for. Thanks for your help in this matter.

Cedarpost, you haven't got a clue! WIC isn't welfare. It is a nutritional program to help expecting mothers, infants and children under the age of 5. What does it provide? Cheese, milk, formula, peanut butter, nutritious dry cereal, dried beans and eggs. It has nothing to do with the Lone Star Card. My daughter who is married, and has a child, a husband who works and works part time herself qualify for WIC!

YES! There are people out there who abuse the system, and there are people who really need the help!

And everyone on here is bashing the girls who get pregnant as teens.... where are the teen fathers? Maybe if they would man-up and help provide for the child that they helped create, there'd be less teen moms (or any age mom) having to go to the government for help!!!! Maybe they should have kept their business in their pants!

I, too, applaud you for not having an abortion, and to switch gears to a similar topic. What drives me even crazier are married couples who choose abortion for financial convenience. THis happens more frequently than you know.....Life is a gift however it happens.

First time poster here. Have not read ALL the comments on this topic.
Was a teenage mother, been there..done that...children are all grown now. What has always bothered me is that the females are always ostresized for "getting pregnant", "being pregnant" while they are a teen. What about the males that "knock them up"? I think there should be some male pregnancy prevention out in the world other than condoms...that are not worn...."break" and all the other bull people say happens.
Knowing that the children will be in the mothers lives, all their lives (hopefully), there should be some kind of reminder to the fathers that the child will be "in there lives" whether the father sticks around or not. (Other than child support, paid or unpaid)
One previous writer on this topic said something about Self-Esteem. Personally when you are not getting hugs, attention, a pat on the back from a parent in the teens home it is very easy to look for attention elsewhere. I believe low self-esteem has alot to do to lead up to teen pregnancy. Then its a hard road up and over the hill. It's a tough place to be.
It would be nice if it were just as simple as keep your legs & vagina closed or your keep your penis in your pants but hormones and self-esteem just don't understand that very well!
Not trying to offend any one or if my point is clear....but what the heck....its a topic I am aware of personally. Thanks for reading.

victoriagirl, with abortion so easily obtainable, and viewed as a method of birth control, I applaud your decision to have your child and love him/her and wanting to be responsible for your child. I wish you the best of luck.

I am not going to judge you because you are 18, unwed, still in high school and pregnant. As someone said earlier, a child is a blessing. I agree. God doesn't judge you, and neither do I.

I know you think you are ready for a child and all the ups and downs that go along with it --- but you're not. Neither was I, and I was 31 when I had my first, and had been married for several years. (Oh, and we THOUGHT we were financially stable.) But don't sweat it -- with the obvious love and support of your parents and friends and family, you'll do fine.....

Victoria(pregnant)girl I advise you to sigh off, before you really get your feelings hurt. You don't have a clue, no pun intended. I refuse to go to the grocery store with my wife anymore, because of the thousands of pregnant teens (with kids already on the ground)that think they got it under control and pay with WIC vouchers and Lonestar cards. I will not bring into this any one race, because I've seen it in every race. It takes alot to raise children, get ready for the large slap in the face. After all some lessons we have to learn on our own. I wish the government would do away with WIC, Lonestar Cards, etc. I can assure you the unemployment rate would plummet.

Since it looks as if this story is about the only one garnering any interest, guess I'll toss my two cents worth in. Aren't you glad? :-)

I can't remember who all said what and am too busy too worry about quoting so:

Yes, you need to have "the talk" with your kids. Preferably *before* they're teens. Say about 11 or 12. However, and this goes along with the abtinence only vs. full disclosure sex ed thing, your discussion (and the school's curricula) need to include BOTH alternatives, the consequences of each AND real sex ed. i.e. teaching that intercourse isn't the only way to skin a cat, so to speak. It is however, the only one that produces offspring. Same short-term result, no long-term one that will seriously, and almost always adversely, affect the rest of your life.

Teaching kids about birth control is responsible. Giving it to them is akin to throwing gasoline on a fire. If they know it's available and are aware of the consequences of ignoring any use of the myriad methods readily available, it should also be impressed on them that they will be responsible for researching, locating, procuring and USING it. I taught my kids to drive responsibly. I did not buy them cars.

Someone cited two examples of unwed yet well-to-do pregnant teens to debunk the fact that many pregnant teens abuse the entitlement programs. Two examples. Ride with me to any inner city and I'll show you hundreds of examples of the other side of the argument. Not saying the argument is any more or less valid, just that the logic to refute it is nonsense.

Regardless whether the chicken or the egg came first (they became pregnant to abuse the system or are using the system because they're pregnant) is hardly material to the child who's *really* the victim. Let's face it, if the teen 1) didn't learn the lessons by being taught and 2) didn't learn the lesson from the first baby, he/she deserves to suffer. The child does not.

Abortion is NOT the answer. Actually it's more part of the problem. Many teens in the throes of passion likely see abortion as the easy way out - if they even think of such things in the throes of passion, which they don't. Nor do they think about stopping to put on a condom, insert an IUD or remember to take a pill. They have no more clue about how destructive to their psyche an abortion can be than they do about how destructive to their futures a baby will be.

Yes Mandy, BigJ does have thin skin and a poison pen but Only if you don't agree with him. And only, too, if you can piece together whatever it is he's trying to say.

Sandwich is not being sanctimonious, he's being honest and realistic. If that sounds sanctimonious to you, your PC meter is probably pegging out. I'd suggest tossing it out or at least sending it to a good tech who can maybe set it so that it can define the difference between reality and the fantasy that everyone is physically, mentally, racially, religiously and morally equal.

Ernie

Thank you BIGJ.
No one is going to bring me down. :)

Oh, and thank you catholic girl.

Yeah something might go wrong in my future, I know the possibilities. But I am strong and am ready for whatever comes at me. I will learn from my mistakes. Thats all I can say. Anything is possible. Yeah I look ahead, but something could come in between that forever. At least I'm prepared.

No they are not. Yes my father has insurance, I am on it due to the fact I am still living with my parents during school. But no, I can pay for myself.

Oh yeah -- and to everyone saying -- well the problem is teen moms came from teen moms... I did not... my mom was 28 when she had me.

victoriagirl361
I hope things turn out the way you want them too, but things are stacked against you, whether you realize it or not. It's true what they say...Hindsight is 20/20. We old foggies have years of experience behind us and we've seen many a couple that swore they would last forever, not last more than a few years...if they make it that far. You are young. You have grand dreams and expectations and I applaud you for that. BUT, the truth is not always that kind. Good Luck!!

This entire comment section makes me sad. First of all, it is not those in high school in "long term relationships" getting pregnant. Maybe some, but you can't generalize. I was in a long-term relationship through high school and some of college, and I didn't get pregnant. Why? Because my boyfriend and I both wanted to wait until we were married. What did our friends do? They thought we were "strange." Some of those who thought we were "strange" ended up pregnant, and either had abortions, or ended up getting government assistance that I helped pay for because I had chosen to abstain. We have taught our children a wrong set of values.

victoriagirl- I commend you for your positive attitude and taking responsibility for your choices. Many on here,(VA posts in general) assume that because I'm vocal about my faith that I condemn those who have different views from my own. Not true. The line of work I'm in brings me in day-to-day relationships with teenagers; all races, all financial backgrounds, all sexual orientations, etc. I have a special place in my heart and home for teenagers and I will always encourage them to make better choices, but will always support them through the bad ones too. You are in my prayers.

And Victoria Girl....are our tax dollars paying for your baby and for you in your misplaced pride with your situation? Just curious.

You don't have a clue what went on the 60's, 70's and 80's. There was just as much sex but a whole lot more responsibility. You see, back then, if you had a child, you were going to have to pay the hospital bill out of your pocket.

Republic-- No I won't cuz I will know I was 18 in pregnant and I have no room to put someone down because they are young and pregnant. A lot of people are ready, as am I. Don't stereo type(that goes to everyone). Not everyone is the same!

RedRage- I don't need luck in finding a man that will "hold up until marriage"...we found each other years ago and are now married with 6 children. My husband also practiced chastity...more courageous and manly than those who 'just can't wait'.

BIGJ- I'm in my 30's.

I don't know when this story came out but coincidently I posted on my blog, last night about 2:00a.m., the following letter. http://community.victoriaadvocate.com...

I was thinking someone here might enjoy reading it.

victoriagirl361
I hope you do beat the odds and have happiness and success. Just remember, youth doesn't last forever and time flies! Before you know it you will be in your 30's and 40's talking about when you were 18. You will be eating your words when people tell you "that was 2009, this is a different generation." Best of luck to you.

I was 17 and my wife, then girlfriend, was 15 when we found out she was pregnant. She turned 16 shortly before the wedding. There were no shotguns involved. When she told me she was pregnant, I asked her to marry me. No one else knew except my sister, who took her to the doctor, and the doctor. I simply knew that the only right thing to do was take responsibility for our actions, get married and raise the child we had created. The hard part was telling her parents. I was so scared of her dad I did not know how he would react. He is ex-Navy and had a bit of a temper. He was also in shape then with biceps as big around as my leg, tattoos, big chest- the whole bit. Polio in his youth had caused him growing problems so he was short and had a bit of a chip on his shoulder because of it. I did tell him and ask him for his daughter’s hand in marriage. He was not happy but he was respectful and gave us his blessing. To my surprise, her Mom was the problem spot and could only speak of her disappointment in us. That was many years ago. I’ll turn 50 this year. Both my kids are now grown and I enjoy my grandchildren very much. My wife, yes-same girl/woman, and I will celebrate 33 years of marriage this year. I must tell you though that it was tough and there is no way we would have made it without the love and support of family and our shared faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Yes, we worked hard to break that –kids who have kids have kids who have kids- cycle. I am a firm believer in education. Fact is, I did not know back then that it was so easy for a woman to get pregnant. All I knew was what I had over heard from married adults talking about “trying” to get pregnant, etc. I have an older brother that was married at the time but he and his wife were not able to have children. Because of the ignorance of my youth I believe we must educate children. We must tell them how girls/women become pregnant. We must tell them that it only takes once. My wife and I were both virgins when she conceived our first child. We must also tell them that the only sure way to avoid unwanted pregnancy and STDs is abstinence.

AS A PREGNANT 18 YEAR OLD SENIOR I RESENT ALOT OF THE COMMENTS BEING MADE! THATS ALL COMMENTS ON VA ARE MADE... TO BRING DOWN PEOPLE... BUT NOW ME IT MAKES ME LAUGH TO SEE SO MANY PEOPLE TALK ABOUT BACK IN THE 70'S & 80'S GUESS WHAT THIS IS 2009!!! YEAH ITS A DIFFERENT GENERATION! YES I AM A TEENAGER. STILL GOING TO SCHOOL. WILL GRADUATE. STILL WITH MY BABY'S FATHER [YES I UNDERSTAND WE ARE NOT MARRIED] BUT IT IS IN THE FUTURE! YES I AM GOING TO GO TO COLLEGE IN AUGUST. YES I WILL GET A CAREER. I KNOW MY MORALS. AND I HAVE PEOPLE TO SUPPORT ME. MY PARENTS ARE WONDERFUL PARENTS. BROUGHT ME UP RIGHT. YES I MIGHT BE 18 STILL IN SCHOOL AND PREGNANT BUT I CAN SUPPORT MYSELF. I WILL STILL CONTINUE ON WITH MY CAREER AND SCHOOL. THERE IS MANY, AND WHEN I SAY MANY I MEAN MANY, STUDENTS AT THE SCHOOL, SRS, OR JUST GRADUATED, WHO HAVE MORE THAN 1 AND THEY GRADUATED AND STILL CONTINUE ON! SO IT IS A DIFFERENT TIME ... ITS NOT LIKE THE OLD DAYS SO STOP BRINGING IT UP... TODAY IS THE 21ST CENTURY!!!

BIGJ
I didn't say that you included race in the discussion. I am surprised though that you haven't pointed out those bloggers that did. And since you think I am painting with a wide brush, it sure would have been easy for me with my "soccer mom" mentality to blame certain races. That's why I wrote that I don't agree with teenage pregnancies regardless of race or social status.

BIGJ
First of all the soccer mom remark was uncalled for. I hate soccer moms and would never be caught dead with one of them. I'm sorry you see my view as painting with a wide brush. But the majority of teenage pregnancies are financially supported by government funding. I don't agree with teenage pregnancies regardless of race or social status. I did not put race into my postings like other bloggers did for that reason. Teenagers are not emotionally or financially ready to raise a child and they are setting themselves and the child up for a long, hard road. Yes, there are some teenagers that don't fall into the system and go on to complete their education and become a contributing member of society. Becoming an adult is hard enough, why throw an innocent and unplanned child into the equation. Parents, don't just talk to your kids but set the right example for them.

Ringer ,,You Hit The Nail on the head,,,I dont even need to comment...You said it all.

BigJ, I am not looking for a fight. I am simply trying to understand where you are coming from. Sorry if it seemed that way.
I am not a parent,however I do have many friends that became parents at a young age that have used the so called system and others that managed on their own. That being said I will leave this matter alone. Have a great day everyone.

BIGJ
I think you are the one with thin skin. Apparently, I hit a nerve with you. Were you a teenage mom, a product of a teenage mom, a recipient of welfare, do you know anyone who's experienced any of the things I've listed? If you have a personal experience to back up your opinion then why don't you share it. Like I said before, I am speaking on what I have witnessed myself. If you have been fortunate enough to not see people abuse the welfare system then I'm happy for you, but the reality is that people are abusing it and teaching their children to use the welfare system as a backup plan for an unplanned pregnancy.

BIGJ- DID I say that? Read my reply again. I don't even know how to respond to your stupidity. Aren't we talking about teen pregnancy? Don't you know, kids who end up pregnant are the ones who are always in a long term relationship, through-out high school. Slutt'n around is another issue...

BigJ,you wrote: Let me tell you WHY there are teen mothers. That because most of them do NOT know what love is. I am in my twenties, I have more insight than you because I do have a fresh memory about my teen years. Most Teenage mothers are naive and most teen fathers are jackA$$ES. That lies the problem, not some way of her getting a government check. Some of them don’t any know about government in school much less on how getting a check from Uncle Sam.How is this an example and not your opinion? It reads like an opinion.  Oh, and "most" was used in RepublicanWomans post.

Catholicgirl: "I am very thankful that as a teenager, I had good people in my life who cared enough to teach me the value of saving myself for marriage."

I had good people in my life as a teenager as well - My mom and Dad. They cared enough to try to teach me the value of saving myself for marriage.... I come from a very Devoute Irish/Catholic family. I went to Catholic School, and went to CCD and was involved in CYO, 4H, FFA, FHA, FCA, Pep squad, NFL, and I don't know what else.... I surrounded myself with peers who, like me, had families with strong Christian values..... However, I made the choice -- MY CHOICE-- to have sex at the age of 17.

My brother and sister-in-law are very strong Christian people. They involved their children in many activities and the kids enjoyed many priviledges because they were upper-middle class income.... but their daughter still got knocked up after one of their Country Club soirees, by a doctor's son.....

As the mother of 2 grown children and 2 teenagers,I can tell you, I care about my children. I didn't want my daughters, or my sons, to have sex before marriage. But the three oldest did. Their choice. I didn't like it, and I certainly didn't accept it. I made sure that they were protecting themselves against STDs and unplanned pregnancies.

I don't remember who said that babies are only a blessing if you plan them, can afford them, etc..... well, I have to tell you you are wrong.... I didn't plan any of mine and I certainly didn't know the price tag of any of them..... but each one is a blessing to me! I never knew how much I could love another person until my children were born. Yes, they were all born within the bonds of marriage, but even if they weren't, they'd still be a blessing to me....

As for my neice's unplanned pregnancy - turned out it was a blessing to the childless couple who adopted him!

Derrick, I'll tell you were the source of the problem lies, not that you want to here it, but it's the truth.The problem begins at home. A place where young girls depend on their Fathers for support, encouragement, and comfort. A place where boys depend on being nurtured- loved- and believed in.
Often as parents we fall short of these emotions and gain fear our children act like babies, so what do we do, make them grow up to fast.
I have a sixteen year old son who has a need for girls in his life but when it comes to a serious relationship--- He has me. I'm the love of his life and even at 6'2- 225 pounds, I'd gladly let him crawl in my lap for a nap any day. I still wrap my arms around him as if he was two or ten. I still play with his hair when he lets me and I love telling him how proud I am of him.
Show me a pregnant teen and I'll bet my life savings her Father's job, extracurricular activities, or personal life is more important than she. Children who have boyfriends and girlfriends through-out high school are looking for love in all the wrong places. If you want change- start by loving those who don't feel loved.

"Most Teenage mothers are naive and most teen fathers are jackA$$ES."

mmmmm....except men like Conservative Sarah Palin's new conservative son in law who manned up and took responsibility for what happened.

That's what you were suppose to do many years ago, man up and be responsible, take care of the innocent one, the child. You were responsible for the child until 18. Not the guvmint, ie taxpayers.

In my opinion the old shotgun wedding is what kept much of the teenage pregnancies away long ago. Yes, sex happened though not as much as now with teenagers. But you knew if you weren't careful YOU were going to be the one taking care of the situation. You would come under MUCH pressure. That is what I saw. Not a program to help out. A good incentive.

Many a young man and woman had things happen to them but came out of it smarter and became productive citizens. It is a set back but not the end of the world. But you have to remember, the main choice happens BEFORE the pregnancy happens 99% of the time. If you could fix that mental state the situation would be much better.

That is what I taught my sons. Far as I know, it worked.

BigJ wrote:
You are a part of the problem because you, yes you use generalizations and stereotypes in your comment.

Most Teenage mothers are naive and most teen fathers are jackA$$ES.

Conseravtives you gotta love them for being navie.

Are these not generalizations and stereotypes?

BIGJ
I love the fact that in America we have freedom of speech. We are all entitled to our opinions. You are attacking me by assuming to know how old I am therefore assuming that my "generalizations" are based on my age. I am stating what I have seen and witnessed through our healthcare system and by people I have known personally. You say you are in your twenties well I am right there with you. I have been a taxpayer since the day I turned 16 so I am entitled to be upset about where my tax dollars are going. And these young teenage moms DO know about government funding especially when they were raised by welfare moms. It's a way of life being passed down from one generation to another. You don't have to agree with me. That's the beauty of free speech. Don't attack me when there are several other bloggers writing as well about not wanting to financially support teenage moms. If you don't care what I think then by all means move on to another blogger. You are only showing your immaturity and being disrespectful to older bloggers by stating that your teen years are fresh on your memory. These "older" bloggers have the wisdom to have either learned from their own mistakes or have learned from watching others.

BUNDY ;>) I haven't heard from you in a long time! I thought you had gotten lost in the great beyond or something. Good to have you back!

I am very thankful that as a teenager, I had good people in my life who cared enough to teach me the value of saving myself for marriage. Life is hard enough for a teenager without throwing sex into the mixture. Believe it or not, there are people out there that can control themselves.

I will be the first to admit it, I had unprotected sex and never thought anything of it until I was pregnant at 18 and a mom a few months before I turned 20.

Totally unprepared and we were impoverished for it. He turned out great and he and I grew up together BUT I always regretted what he had to do without because I was young and dumb and "in-love".

So what did I tell my kids? "If you get pregnant and aren't prepared your kids will be POOR and you will be POOR. Raising children is an expensive proposition."

I guess they listened and it's still fresh in their memories. I know it is in mine cuz I will always feel guilty for what they went thru.

TrueOmniscience...I'm not sure that AIDS is the smaller of the two. A woman CAN obtain an abortion or place the baby for adoption. There ain't much that can be done for AIDS. The kid may once in a while make you WANT to kill him, but AIDS WILL kill you. All in all, I think I'd rather do the recreational sex thing and not get either.

Teens are getting pregnant in Victoria? Reaheheheeeaaaalllllyy!!! Well, have any of you seen "Field of Dreams"? Remember the line, "If you build it, they will come"? OK, follow me here. Has anyone noticed the number of public housing/government assisted projects in this town? Do ya maybe think that some of these girls reside in these wonderful public housing complexes?
The building contractors love these projects, along with neighborhood developers and real estate companies. So you know what they do? They donate to campaigns of local politicians (see Geanie Morrison, Victoria County Judge, Victoria County Commissioners, Mayor, and City Council). These slimeballs in turn mortgage the morality, security and prosperity of our community in order to get elected/reelected.
Remember this in the upcoming elections.

A big problem is that these teenagers were born to teenage mothers themselves. It is such a vicious circle that keeps repeating itself and the age at which girls are getting pregnant nowadays just keeps getting younger and younger. I had my first child at 19, my second one at 21, and my last one at 23. Even at those ages, I was totally unprepared to have a child and had no business having them. BUT I had a very supportive family who were there for me, but also made me see that I needed to take care of my chidren. I did not pawn them off on my parents, like alot of the kids these days do. The problem all starts with the parents...

As long as kids don't have to suffer any consequences for their actions, and in most cases, get compensated, things will never change. There should be no public aid for teenage pregnancies. The parents should have to foot the bill. There should be no such thing as anchor babies. If at least one of the parents isn't a legal US citizen, then no aid. Let the parents pay for their own babies' food and healthcare.
Kids should not be allowed to go to public school if they are pregnant. Let them pay a teacher to homeschool them. Why should the taxes we pay to educate our kids go toward daycare?
Consequences, hard and swift, = kids a little more afraid to take the chance on getting pregnant.

Oh, and parents should never assume that anything they try and teach their kids is gonna keep them from wanting to be popular and doing what it takes to become popular. Parents should not be afraid to offer a way to get birth control if their kids are dating.

I think a lot of the teen pregnancy problem is caused by the parents. People need to take off their rose-colored glasses and quit saying 'my child would never do that'. It's unrealistic to think that just because you talk to your child about having sex, the child is going to think you are condoning that behavior. Sex is a large part of every teens life. Doesn't necessarily mean they are having sex, but I guaratee you, they all think about it. It is the parents responsibility to talk to them about the changes in their bodies and the changes in their feelings so they can be educated in that part of their lives just as well as any other subject. Stop saying my child would never do that because they MIGHT not do it, but they sure as heck think about it. As I said in a previous post, I was pregnant at 16, I was pregnant again at 19. I have raised 3 children and I thank the good Lord above, none of them were teen parents and 2 are in college and my baby graduates this year and she is college or bust! I'm so proud; D

darlins64...A baby is a "blessing" ONLY if the parents are: 1) Ready to have a child 2) able to afford to care for a child 3) actually WANT to have a child. If any of these are absent, a baby is NOT a blessing.

I grew up in the '60s and still remember the "talk" from my dad. It was short and to the point..."DON'T." But, Dad, what about..."DON'T." But, Dad, there's this gir...."DON'T." But, how about we..."DON'T." As a result, I learned about recreational sex as opposed to procreational sex. It's great fun, no babies were created and no STD's were spread.

Teach'em that, if they are going to have sex, there are things that can be done, times when certain things can't be safely done, people with whom sex must be avoided at all costs because of the threat of STDs, and above all, DON'T get or cause the young lady to get pregnant. Returning to the stigma of pregnancy as a bad thing is a good idea but one I don't expect to see again.

Goliad: http://www.chastity.com/

lonestarlady - i remember the days when the poorer girls had to leave school when they became obviously pregnant but the middle and upper class girls went to "visit an auntie" in another state for about 7 months. Sometimes they came back empty handed but sometimes Mom and Dad would suddenly decide to adopt a baby.

Romonak; you must be sheltered. I came from a middle upper class family and got pregnant at 16. There were several other girls in high school of the same economic stature that became pregnant while in high school.

thank goodness I don't have to go thru that anymore, but I'll pass that on to my kids when they make me a grandma.

Now that they're old enough to get married and such, I can't even get them to give me one grandchild......When I mention it, they throw my "wait until you're prepared" speech back at me....

oh snap, did we forget about the "pregnancy pact" girls from Gloucester last year? did we also forget that they were all white?

http://www.alternet.org/reproductivej...

I don't think Bristol Palin qualifies as low income.
Nor did Jaime Lynn Spears.
But it may be a valid point so I will see what I can find about SES and teen pregnancy.

SouthTexas - so true. Many people are totally unrealistic about teen sexual activity - if they want it, they will find a way to get it.

But let me tell you, there is nothing more mortifying than trying to figure out what type of condom to buy for your teenage boys - OMG there's a wall of those things and ???? colors and sizes. Asking my sons the size question was the worst. But better safe than sorry and you only have to go thru that once - per child anyway.

*still blushing after 4 years*

Some say that teen pregnancy has NOTHING to do with one's economic status...really?

I happen to be in a line of work where I speak with people on a daily basis from every walk of life. It also allows me to get to know intimate details about the people and their family lives....

In the several years that I have been doing this, I can not recall EVER coming across a teen in a middle to upper class family who had become pregnant. However, I can recall the many teen mothers I have met...all of them were lower middle to lower class...

I would like to see some research into this. Based on what I have seen there certainly seems to be a strong correlation.

I believe there are other reasons as well...i'm not saying this is the only cause. However, I believe it can have a lot to do with it.

For about 10 years I worked with emotionally disturbed teenagers. During that time I learned many things...the most outstanding being that if a teenager wants to have sex, they will have sex!!! Period! You can lock them up; you can keep them under 24/7 surveillance, you can threaten, plead, lecture and show them films. But a fact is a fact.

What can be done? First of all parents have to have an open, honest, non-threatening conversation about sex and its outcomes and consequences, STD's and babies being the two biggies. Let them know that if they insist on being stupid and possibly ruining their life by choosing to be sexually active at least do not bring a baby into the world that has no choice in the matter. Then explain how you will help them get the birth control they must need....no lectures, no condemnation....not necessary since they already know how you feel.

For boys it is easy...."If you need condoms, write it on my grocery list and I will leave them in your room." Just remember if you don't use them and are careless that everything you have and own will be sold to care for the unplanned baby....that includes, cars, x-box, bikes, expensive tennis shoes....EVERYTHING!

Girls are a little harder, but let them know that you will go with them and make sure they are protected against an unwanted pregnancy.

Of course no approach is a 100% guarantee, especially in a society where being pregnant is a "cool" thing and there is no longer any social stigma attached to being pregnant and unmarried....but a first hand knowledge of what having and caring for a baby can involve is a start....and that includes both for boys and girls.

catholic girl - i've never heard of a chastity program. What is the difference between chastity and abstinence only programs? I'm curious.....

Cyrano, you get real. They already have the equipment and they are gonna use it. They are called sexual organs.BTW how many teenagers have YOU raised?
 I raised 5 to be successful educated adults with no babies. What are YOUR credentials in this matter?

CHASTITY IS NOT THE SAME AS ABSTINENCE. There are chastity education programs available. Abstinence doesn't work; chastity does.

This is to GoliadChica who thinks that "Providing or encouraging the use of birth control does not encourage teens to have sex."- get real! You give a teenager the keys to your ride, they're gonna take it for a spin! You give a teenager a condom, they're gonna take a ride! CatholicGirl is pretty right on with this one.

We are animals in the kingdom. The big dogs.
PPL pretty well understands how we communicate through talking, body language and facial expressions.
But elsewhere in the animal kingdom, chemicals such as pheromones are instinctively used to communicate, be it to attract a mate or warn a competitor. lol
Can human brains process "pheromones" at lets say early teens?!?!? — pheromones>>> are chemicals that trigger a natural behavioral response in most animals of the same species.          sooooo, please bathe.

LOL rage you just opened a big ol' can of worms there....

Providing or encouraging the use of birth control does not encourage teens to have sex. That is a total fallacy. they have sex cuz they want to have sex, plain and simple.

Why didn't anyone respond to the fact that abstinence only education results in more pregnancies than complete sex education?

"Abstinence-only programs show little evidence of sustained (long-term) impact on attitudes and intentions. Worse, they show some negative impacts on youth's willingness to use contraception, including condoms, to prevent negative sexual health outcomes related to sexual intercourse. Importantly, only in one state did any program demonstrate short-term success in delaying the initiation of sex; none of these programs demonstrates evidence of long-term success in delaying sexual initiation among youth exposed to the programs or any evidence of success in reducing other sexual risk-taking behaviors among participants."

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publ...

I agree with Goliad. When kids get sexually active, someone gets hurt, including boys. I talked and listened to both of my boys and yes, bought the condoms. Unfortunately, both got dumped by the love of their lives at age 16. It took a while but they both recovered, and I had no out of wedlock babies to raise. Both took a few steps into forward thinking and found wives. The girls who dumped both of the boys are now divorced and pregnant. I liked them both, but knew their choices were going to catch up with them. As a young woman my heart was broken a couple of times, and I am still thankful that I didn't die of AIDS. AIDS was my main focus for my boys. Saving oneself for marriage is a holy and honorable choice. God has abundantly blessed the young people I know who chose to wait, or get married immediately after finding their soul mates.
I always said that if I taught a sex ed class, I would include lots of pictures of young pregnant babes at the beach with the comment- A Body Only A Husband Could Truly Love.LOL

Hey BIGJ. Let me tell you something. I have worked in healthcare for 12 years and I have seen and heard first hand the attitudes not by all these young moms but most. So don't tell me I don't know what I am talking about. And how am I a part of the problem when I chose from the time I became sexually active to use birthcontrol so that I would not have an unplanned pregnancy that I could not take care of. I do resent being a taxpayer who sees part of my paycheck go to kids having kids. If more parents would be parents and talk to their kids about the consequences of unplanned pregnancies and actually make their kids face those consequences instead of turning it into a celebration (giving them baby showers, showering them with attention) like it's something to be proud of maybe less teenagers would think it's all fun and cute. Sadly, too many parents are more concerned with being their child's friend. Also, keep in mind that most who get on welfare NEVER get off of it. The fewer amount of people we can keep from getting on it in the first place the better off our world will be. For those of you who think people aren't abusing the welfare system....OPEN YOUR EYES! It doesn't matter if they are only getting 50 dollars a month. It's FREE money and there are plenty of people who will be in line to get it. The government set up the welfare system for people in need not for people to repeat the cycle of kids having kids. I am all for people who are truly in need of getting assistance. I am not for helping generations of young people making poor decisions or having "accidents". Birth control is too accessible these days.

Wait no longer, here's one of those religious folks speaking up; but I'm not here to tell anyone how far off base they are, I hope they can figure that out for themselves!
Those who think the solution is to provide condoms at home or at school are only enabling the teens to continue in their immature behavior, actually encouraging it. So chances are they might not get pregnant with condom use. But what about their hearts? There's not a condom or any other kind of birth control out there that protects the heart and mind. Teens today are being told by way too many adults, "You have no self control, no will power. You're just going to do it because you can't say no." That is a bunch of lies! Animals are 'just going to do it'...teenagers are not animals. TEENAGERS HAVE BEEN TAUGHT TO ACT LIKE ANIMALS IN REGARDS TO THEIR SEXUALITY BY ADULTS WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER!
These adults don't care about teens at all. They don't care about the emotional needs, only the phyical, but they are tightly connected.
Rather than enabling teens, we should be showing them a better way. Abstinence is about saying "no" to something...it carries a negative connotation and teens rebel. Chastity is about saying "yes" to the healthy way of sexuality...positive outlook with less rebellion. We need to promote chastity--keeping our natural desires under our own control,having the courage to say no to sex until the commitment of marriage is in place. Teenage pregnancies drop, without the need for artificial methods. It can be done; it IS done in Christian communities everywhere with great results. Teens are becoming more responsible and moral. Many adults today could use a dose of chastity themselves!

Back in the DARK AGES when I graduated from VHS, you might have heard rumors about someone who might have been pregnant and suddenly disappeard from school and returned about 6-9 months later; married and/or pregnant students did not "walk the stage" either at graduation - You betcha that was incentive enough to walk the line....maybe I am just old fashioned....

Yesterday I saw a young lady with a 10 month old baby and at least 6 months pregnant, getting government assistance with food stamps and Medicare for her and her 10 month old. When the government keeps giving and giving to people who have NO responsibility for their actions, the problem will never cease! These kids have no respect for anyone let alone themeless. Do any of you remember a show that either Sally Jesse Rafael or one of those talk shows did about young girls wanting babies? They put them with another young teen that had already had a baby and for a day or two they had to take care of the infant or toddler all by themselves. Needless to say, ALL of the girls had changed their minds about wanting a child. A lot of the problem is that they come from broken homes, and feel that they are not loved. They only want something to love them, and a baby is their answer, wrong as it is! What if the schools had a mandatory program for both boys and girls where they had to take care of a dummy baby (they have them that are programed to cry when wet, hungry, etc.) and set them up on a pretend budget of say $100 a week to care for the baby and see if that would open their eyes. We need to do something, parents aren't getting through to these kids, and if the schools can, then let's do it. Babies are not cheap to have or care for, and these kids can't even care for themselves. Most of them don't want to work, and those that do can only obtain menial jobs paying minimum wage. A minimum wage job would barley pay for an apartment, so how do they support a child??????? The answer? We do, the tax payers. Let's put our tax dollars into education, instead of an innocent child.

I grew up in the 70's and 80's. Sex Education was taught at home by our parents. Our biggest fear wasn't STD's or AIDs.... it was getting pregnant and disappointing our family, and shaming our community.

I think these days,the reason kids are becoming sexually active at a much younger age, is because of the glorification of sex on television, movies, music, etc... that and our blase attitude toward it.

How many of us have really sat down and talked to our kids about sex and love??? I mean REALLY TALKED... Here was the sex talk I got from my mom: "Sex is a beautiful thing between a husband and wife. Sex before marriage is dirty, disgusting, and a mortal sin. Men can't control themselves so you mustn't give them the impression that you will put out. No heavy kissing, no fondling..... and nice girls are home before midnight." What did that actually tell me?? Not a darn thing!

When my oldest daughter was old enough to take interest in boys, I realized I needed to have a talk with her, but I wanted it to have more meaning than what I was told. I thought about it and told her that although sex is a beautiful thing, that you had to be sure that the person you have sex with is worthy of the gift. Sex means more to a girl than to a boy. And when you have sex, you are giving a part of yourself to the other person. I tried to explain to her that while using condoms and other artificial birth contol methods can prevent pregnancy, STD's, etc., there was no protection from the emotional damage that can be caused when the break-ups occur. I knew she was going to have sex anyway, but I wanted her to understand that there are worse things than being pregnant at 15 or 16, and I wanted her to be safe. I also let her know that if she did get pregnant, although we (her parents) might be shocked, initially, but we would be there for her, and help her so she could finish school.

Being a teen mom doesn't mean your life is over! While I think that having a daycare on the school campus is a good idea in that it encourages the young mother to continue her education so that she might one day get a good job and be self-supporting, I also see where it might encourage teen pregnancy.

I also don't see that the teen pregnancy rate in Victoria is any better or any worse than anywhere else in the US. And I don't think that it has anything to do with socio or economic status. It doesn't matter if the teen comes from a one or a two parent household. It just is.

To those who say it's a way to get money from the government - let me say: TANF/AFDC payments from the government are TEMPORARY and honestly aren't that much. Not when you take into consideration the cost of daycare, rent, utilities, transportation. There is a limit to the amount a person can receive, and a limit to the time a person can receive assistance.

What is needed, is for parents to be more involved in educating their children about sex. DON'T PREACH. Talk, and listen. Set a good example. If your child is having sex, get them on birth control and really talk to them about STD's -- A baby is a blessing, but AIDs kills.

interested posted: "maybe if there was not DAY CARE offered on high school campuses, maybe if there were not school busses equiped with car seats,maybe if there were not scholarships given to "single" moms at VISD then MAYBE both male and female teens would think twice about the consequences of getting pregnant."

Do you honestly think that these teenagers are thinking about the daycare and whether or not the school busses have carseats when they are in the backseat of their car!?!?!?! I don't think so!!!! Some teenagers are having sex and not thinking about the consequences...just like some drive to fast, drink alcohol, and don't do their homework. Consequences just do not register with teenagers.

I agree with others that it really needs to start with morals that should be taught at home. There are parents out there that are teaching their kids...just not enough.

This is a very complex problem with plenty of causes to point the finger at. I can tell you that fifty years ago there may have been ten percent of high school females that would "go all the way", and half of those everyone in the school knew who they were. If someone got pregnant out of wedlock fifty years ago, it was a complete embarrassment to the family, who would be responsible for the mother and child, and not the government/taxpayer. Today if you read the birth notices in the VA you will find that about half the babies have parents who are not married. My guess is that this issue will continue to worsen until the Lord returns. Sad but true.

Teenagers have been having sex since there were teenagers. The problem is not that they want Welfare or Attention, it is that our backwards society is not pushing for the sex education needed to prevent pregnancies - i.e. we keep talking about abstinence when it isn't going to happen. They need to be pushed to use contraception if they are sexually active. It isn't just this generation, people. Their parents - the ones pushing this abstinence education - were the "free love" generation, remember? The first ones to get the pill, remember? Let's see, what are the lyrics..."If you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with." The problem is hypocritical people who think that they can prohibit behavior and deny information and have a good outcome.

If you don't want teen pregnancies, try making birth control more available to teens. If they are abstaining, it doesn't matter if they know the information and if they aren't abstaining, better to know how and use birth control than get a) pregnant or worse b) AIDS.

Waiting for the religious folks to tell me how far off base I am - but I raised 5 children and embarrassed each and everyone of them by putting condoms in the bathroom medicine cabinet strictly for their use. They are all over 21 now and, surprise, no one got pregnant or contributed to an unwanted pregnancy.

BTW - did anyone see the recent news that teens taught abstinence only sex ed were MORE LIKELY to become pregnant than teens who were taught about birth control in sex ed? Want a poster child for abstinence only sex ed? Try Bristol Palin.

MAYBE if there was not DAY CARE offered on high school campuses, maybe if there were not school busses equiped with car seats,maybe if there were not scholarships given to "single" moms at VISD then MAYBE both male and female teens would think twice about the consequences of getting pregnant.

Come on people, face a few facts. (1) There are girls in Victoria getting pregnant so they can collect more welfare. (2) Most (not all) girls will have sex before they get out of high school. Get them on the pill before its too late. I have listened to all the arguments against this and I ask you, which would you rather have, a permissive daughter or a pregnant one.

Young ladies, and young gentlemen, both feel that they got to fill their needs on the spot. And this has been going on since their was human life on this earth.
Nothing has changed, it is just the time of year for babies to be conceived, or born, year round that is.
I understand that it is a problem but, some do give their babies up for adoptions. Some let grandma raise them, and grandma would have it no other way, because, it is their grandchild. And others just raise their childen, some even get married.
But, today a lot never get married, the become common law husband, and wife. So nothing will change it, they just want someone to love, and someone to love them.
Better education is what we need, and for parents to sit their childern down, no matter how embarrassing it is for them, and tell them the whole trust, not part of it. And it really needs to be told to them at a young age, before the other childern tell them the wrong ways.
Education about sex, and babies is better then not telling at all.
My Thoughts

republicanwoman, you certainly seem to have a lot of information on the sterotypes of teens that end up in this situation. Just wondering where you aquired all your expert information?

I couldn't agree with you more. Unfortunately, this is a problem nationwide. Part of the problem is that the parents of these "teenage moms" were teenage moms themselves. It's a vicious cycle that keeps repeating itself. I firmly believe that if it wasn't so easy for people to run down and collect welfare then we wouldn't see as many unplanned pregnancies. I've witnessed for myself young moms admit that they go down to the welfare office and claim to not know where the supposed father of their unborn child is and collect food stamps and free medical care while all the time they are living with the baby's father. And it's not only poor uneducated women doing this. I have seen young moms who come from well to do families collect government hand outs just because they can. It's time for taxpayers to stand up and put a stop to the insanity. I have chosen to go to school first and have a career before bringing a child into this world. I can't imagine the ignorance and audacity to have a child and just expect every other taxpayer to pick up the tab. We have raised children today to feel entitled to things they have not earned and they are not being held responsible for bad decisions. And the parents of the teenage moms who turn around and raise their grandchild so the young mom can continue to have a social life are just as stupid. Stand up and actually be a parent and make your child accept the consequences of their actions.