• Wes Bloomquist •
• Originally published January 20, 2009 at 8:17 p.m., updated January 20, 2009 at 8:17 p.m.

Forget that it may promote tooth decay or the old wives tale that if swallowed it sticks indigestibly in your system for seven years, chewing gum is "brain food."

That's what some British researchers concluded. The theory being that prolonged chewing increases heartbeat and blood pressure, rushing a wake-up call to the brain. Further, their studies led to the claim that rhythmic chewing action between mouth and jaw synchronizes the aroused brain for sharper thinking, improving memory up to 20 percent and IQ by as much as 15 points.

I question all of that. Based on personal experience and observation, I suspect chewing gum has no such effect and might even clog the thought process.

The Brits' report adds, I suppose, to the debate of chewing gum in the classroom. Students could contend it makes them smarter. Teachers in general don't condone mixing gum and class work because it's noisy and messy. I'm told it's a campus-by-campus call in the Victoria public schools but few if any welcome gum.

Speaking of the messiness, a recent news story from Mexico City noted that the average square yard of sidewalks there held 70 blobs of spit-out gum, marring restored portions of the city's historic downtown. Plans for a costly cleanup include a public awareness campaign urging chewers too busy to dispose of gum in the trash to just swallow it.

My personal experience as a gum chewer is limited. My dear wife of 54 years was passionately anti-gum. Years ago when I played more golf I did dabble - away from the little woman - in gum, reasoning that in a game said to be about 90 percent mental, chewing might stimulate performance. It didn't. Of course, not chewing didn't help either. Conclusion: A lousy golfer is a lousy golfer, with or without a mouthful. So why invite tired jaws?

One of the most animated chompers I've seen recently was on national TV when the Texas Longhorns beat Ohio State by three points in the Fiesta Bowl. Jim Tressel, head coach of the Buckeyes, was pumping away on, presumably, a wad of gum every time the camera turned his way. But how sharp was his thinking?'

Sure, in Texas most of us cheered when Colt McCoy's passes fueled a last-gasp 78-yard touchdown rally that won for the Longhorns, 24-21. But you've got to wonder why Ohio State's defensive backfield positioned the way it did, as if expecting a run, when McCoy hit Quan Cosby over the middle and the receiver had only to elude one deep tackler for a 26-yard TD with 16 seconds left.

At the time I thought it was fortunate that Coach Tressel was busy chewing and not anticipating the obvious seventh pass of the drive with time running out.

I'm sure the Ohio State coach was not alone with gum in his mouth at the game. It's estimated that the average American chews 300 sticks a year. Scientists tell us prehistoric man chewed a form of gum too, tree resin. No word on how it affected his IQ.

They say the bit about swallowed gum staying in your body seven years is unfounded. The rubbery synthetic base of most modern gum routinely exits the body in much the same form as it entered although there are isolated cases of intestinal blockage.

So if you want to risk a little tooth decay to be smart as a caveman, it's probably relatively safe to chew and swallow. Better that than leaving it to stick to somebody's shoe.

But don't plan on remaining a gum genius. Logically, when the chewing stops, any improved thinking would evaporate and you'd return to your same old dull self.

Vince Reedy, now retired, is a former managing editor and associate editor of the Advocate. Leave him a message at 361-580-6301 or by e-mail at vreedy@sbcglobal.net, or comment on this column at www.VictoriaAdvocate.com.

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