Caring for aging family members
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Age is merely a number to Lela Rosenberg.
The 102-year-old Yoakumite gardens, exercises, reads, and takes part in events like Country Music USA regularly.
She lives with her daughter, Laura Henson, in Yoakum. Some might say that Henson, 64, cares for her mom, but the pair would disagree. Both feel they are more like roommates than a patient and care giver.
"My friends don't want me to come unless I bring mother," Henson said. "They might like her more than me."
They both laugh and look at each other. There's an overwhelming bond between the two women.
Rosenberg is still independent in just about every function. Her daughter puts her eye drops in for her, but that is only because it's easier on her, she said.
"I can do it," Rosenberg said.
Her daily routine comprises of waking up every morning at 7 and has "Breakfast with Matt Lauer." She would rather eat breakfast in the recliner while receiving her daily Today Show fill. Then she has her bath and gets dressed, which is done completely independently. Now she will read a book or the Bible unless she has a project to do.
"Give me something to do. I want something to do," Henson said about her mother's willingness to help with household chores and projects with Henson's custom furnishings and craft business, Operation XYZ.
Six years ago at the age of 96, Rosenberg moved in with her daughter. It was right after she decided she would stop driving.
In addition to driving, up until the age of 96, Rosenberg bowled weekly, helped with various church projects, played games with an elderly group at her church, and played bridge.
"When I lost my husband, I made a plan to do something everyday where I would get out of the house and socialize with someone," Rosenberg said.
That was in 1987 and she lived alone in Albuquerque for 16 years.
The only ailments Rosenberg has faced is a high thyroid that went away, she has a pacemaker, and optic nerve stroke. Other than that she is in great condition. She takes an ecotrin or baby aspirin, garlic tablet, multivitamin, calcium tablet, and 11 eye drops of three different medications daily.
Never has an assisted living or nursing home been a consideration.
"Well I appreciate living this long, I wouldn't if I had to be in a bed and couldn't do anything. As long as I can dress myself and take care of myself for the most part," Rosenberg said. "I don't want to live having to be dependent and have other people feed and bathe me."
Her daughter is very grateful for the opportunity to have her mom live with her and do the little-to-none care she provides.
"I'm very fortunate that we are able to do this. Not many people can have their parents in their home and spend as much time together," Henson said.
Henson is not the only child. Rosenberg has son, Louis Rosenberg, who is a lawyer in Floresville and San Antonio.
"I try to share her a little bit," Henson said at the thought of her brother 'Lou' being close.
The first and only sign of Rosenberg becoming a little less independent is her new scooter which she uses occasionally. She has just started using her "chair" as they refer to it, but still walks around the house and yard.
Besides her age being just a bigger number than her daughter's, the difference between the two is not much. They pick, laugh, and ultimately enjoy each other while living a quiet, peaceful life in Yoakum. Some would say they are the epitome that old saying, "Two peas in a pod."
THE OTHER OPTIONS
As Henson said, not everyone is as fortunate as they are to be together.
Childen and parents have options when it comes to caring for aging parents.
Assisted living and nursing homes offer assistance to elderly needing a place where they are taken care of while home health care is available to someone needing a nurse to drop in on them regularly.
There are differences in the care between the three.
Assisted living is designed for the more independent person who might need a little care, but not around the clock while nursing homes provide 24-hour care.
Kathy Smith of Today's Assisted Living in Yoakum sees the need for both and said they offer different approaches to care.
"All of our residents can walk independently and they have mild cases of dementia," Smith said. "They are able to express their needs."
Smith pointed out the great personal relationships she is allowed in the assisted living environment and the freedom they have from some regulations.
"It's like having a big family, like having eight grandmothers," Smith said. "We can hop into the car and go get a dip cone from Dairy Queen without having to ask doctors and have releases."
Smith said that on a small scale it's a much more intimate relationship with the residents and their families.
"Each type of facility has its purpose," Smith said regarding nursing homes. She is also a nursing home administrator at Hill Country Rehabilitation and Nursing Home in Gonzales.
Since she is involved in both types of facilities, Smith said there are certain things to consider when choosing a place:
Does it feel good when you walk in?
Do the residents not only appear well groomed, but also happy?
How is the staff interacting?
Is it clean?
"Aesthetics are important, but it's more the feel when you go into a place," Smith said.
Nonetheless, both Smith and her husband Phil hold high the level of home feeling their place has.
"I have picked up somebody at a nursing home or hospital and they say, 'It's good to be home,'" Phil Smith said.
But at some point your loved one might need more care than an assisted living can provide. The next option is long term care at nursing homes.
Kirk Landman, administrator of Stevens Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Hallettsville, said when considering nursing homes it is important to look at the loved one's physical needs and emotional needs. He needs include medicines, nutrition, exercise, safety, self worth, and companionship as examples.
"Stimulation of having others around them and doing the things they like to do," is also important to consider, Landman said.
Landman said nursing homes are the extension of the person's life.
"It becomes their home and it makes things convenient for them for example religious services, beauty salons, entertainment, shopping trips, and gardening," Landman said. "Nursing homes tailor people's lives like it was before they came in - make it closer to like it was at home."
"Going to visit Grandma should still be like visiting her at home," Landman added. "They can make her room up with their own furnishings so it is just like theirs at home."
Landman said that when considering nursing homes don't just consider the looks, but also visit the Medicare Web site (www.medicare.gov/NHcompare/) and compare area homes.
"It shows recent state inspections and a new 5-Star rating system that rates them on state inspections, employee turnover, and quality indicators," Landman said. "Make it close to a family so everyone can visit."
Landman also recommends people do unannounced visits to the home to tour and ask to sample the food.
After exploring assisted living and nursing home care, your loved one might just need a nurse to drop in daily at their home or for in-home therapy well home health care is the best option for them.
Dot Heller with Accolade Home Health Care in Yoakum said they offer skilled nursing, home care aids, and a variety of therapy including physical, occupational, and speech.
"One requirement for a patient to be on Home Care is that the patient is homebound," Heller said. "Most of our patients have just come out of the hospital or have been to see their doctor and have had a change in status."
Determining which care is right for your loved one is a personal and family decision that can be made by talking with your doctor or healthcare provider and your family.
