• By ERICA RODRIGUEZ - ERODRIGUEZ@VICAD.COM
• Originally published November 10, 2009 at 7:45 p.m., updated November 11, 2009 at 8:45 a.m.

• Enlarge Photo »

• Parade route.pdf

• Victoria Veterans Day Parade

  7 a.m. - Veterans pick up flags at courthouse to be taken to 32 cemeteries.

  7:30 a.m. - Short public ceremony on the Victoria County Courthouse steps before veterans depart for individual cemeteries. Rev. Jarrell Sharp, ...

• SHOW ALL »

Victoria Veterans Day Parade

7 a.m. - Veterans pick up flags at courthouse to be taken to 32 cemeteries.

7:30 a.m. - Short public ceremony on the Victoria County Courthouse steps before veterans depart for individual cemeteries. Rev. Jarrell Sharp, senior pastor of First United Methodist Church, will bless the assembled flags.

10 a.m - City/County Veterans Day Parade, begins at Ben Jordan and North Streets and proceeds along North Street to Ben Wilson Street. Gary Moses will announce the parade.

11 a.m. - Veterans Day ceremony in front of the community center.

Emcee: Gary Moses

Guest speaker: State Sen. Glenn Hager.

Memorial wreaths will be placed nearby.

The Rev. David Berger, associate pastor of Our Lady of Victory Catholic Church, will give invocation and closing prayers.

Music: The Toast of the Coast Barbershop Chorus will sing the national anthem and "God Bless America."

Memorial High School band will also perform.

Mike Martinak will play taps.

Catholic War Veterans rifle squad will fire 21-gun salute.

Guests are urged to bring their own lawn chairs for seating.

The event is organized by the Victoria County Veterans Council.

Helping Families Cope

Families who experience a family member deployment experience incredible amounts of stress, said Lorraine Turner, a licensed counselor with the South Texas Children's Home Ministries.

She advises:

Families who are coping with a deployment situation should surround themselves with as much support as possible, either through other family members, church groups, or friends.

Children may be dealing with anger over the separation. Family members should be understanding. Giving a voice to the frustration through active dialogue is advised, although acting out should not be condoned.

For service members who may be returning and reintegrating into family life, make the transition slowly, as certain family roles may have shifted in that person's absence.

Returning service members should understand that their behavior overseas, such as being hyper-vigilant or using foul language, does not have to be the same on the home front.

Robert Castañeda - father, husband and soldier - signed with the Army National Guard after 9/11 because he felt it was his duty.

He was 33 years old, a former sailor and had already served one tour on the Navy's USS Nimitz during Desert Storm.

"I wanted to see if I could make a difference," the 39-year-old specialist said. "I felt like it was something I had to do."

Since then, Castañeda and his family have been through two more deployments, a process they say has changed each of their lives.

Castañeda's three sons have grown from small boys into young men, and his wife has learned the role of both mother and father.

"Honestly, it's the hardest thing you go through," said Stephanie Castañeda, 35, a Victoria native and Robert's wife of 18 years.

According to the U.S. Department of Defense, 188,000 troops are deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan. Earlier this month, President Barack Obama proclaimed November as Military Family Month and pledged his support to honor service men and women as well as the often overlooked military families.

Robert's last deployment to Iraq was the most brutal for his family. Their 15-year-old son, Carlos, suffered a head injury in a sports accident, a close relative died and his wife quit her studies at the University of Houston-Victoria to stay closer to home.

"I understand that he was away because he was fighting for our country, but I took it kind of hard," said 17-year-old Robert Castañeda Jr., who plays football for Cuero High School. He believes his father's deployment forced him to become more independent, yet few care.

"They ought to honor the families too because the families take it hard," he said. "I did have to take a role and, you know, he wasn't here and I just had to help my brother through it."

He put his arm on Carlos' shoulder.

"We don't usually talk about it," he said.

"I think we've all taken it in different ways," their mother said. Anxious for her husband's safety, she grew depressed in her husband's absence. She experienced panic attacks and was eventually hospitalized with severe depression.

"He's my support system," she said. "Him being gone, I've been seeing a counselor ever since."

Carlos, a quiet, athletic teenager, suppressed his anger over deployment and Nicholas, 12, who was always a "daddy's boy," missed his father.

Robert returned from Iraq in August, but the family's struggle continues.

"The truest answer is: We struggle everyday," Stephanie said.

The Castañedas' story of loneliness and worry echoes in the lives of other military families.

"Sometimes people don't understand that when a soldier leaves, half of them gets left behind," said Bernie Perez with the Victoria Family Readiness Group, an organization that offers support for families of active-duty service members.

Perez said the biggest issues that families face is fear for a service member's safety and loneliness.

Loneliness is something Monica Molina, whose husband Army Spc. Edward Molina is on his second tour in Iraq, has learned to cope with. She and their two children Brisa, 6, and Nicholas, 3, will spend the holidays without their husband and father.

"The holidays - they're not really frustrating, they're more depressing," Monica said, her voice quivering softly. "Our family's not complete. There's that one special person missing."

Edward has missed birthdays, his children's first words and the first day of school for his daughter.

"You know, just because you're gone, life doesn't stop," Monica said. "He feels so bad and he's like, 'save those moments for me.' I can take pictures. I can video tape, but life doesn't stop."

Still, Monica believes that in the end, her support system and love for her husband will bring her through.

"What keeps me going is that I love him," she said. "I really love him and I know that the separation is only temporary and I look forward to us being together as a family."

For the Castañedas, the adjustment to having Robert back has not been easy.

"They have to grow up really fast and when Daddy comes back we have to all readjust," his wife said. "They didn't understand, he didn't understand... It's really hard for all of us because there's always someone to blame. We want to blame him for leaving, but we know it's not his fault. We know he's doing what he has to do, but there's still a lot of hurt."

Robert believes that most people don't understand his and his family's struggle.

"There was a point where I was very angry," he said. "Some people just take it for granted."

But even as the Castañeda family fights to adjust, the reality of a deployment still looms. At any moment, the soldier could receive orders to leave again before Christmas.

"We're just waiting for the other shoe to drop," his wife said. "We didn't expect him to leave again, but he did. It's hard for all of us to get close again. We're not knowing if he's going to be here, so we don't know what to think next."

• Print
• •
• Share
  • Share this item

    Send this to a friend

  • Grab the link

    Copy and paste the link:

  • Blog about it

    Blog about this page.

  • Close
• •
• Favorite