• Originally published October 13, 2009 at midnight, updated October 14, 2009 at 12:36 a.m.

• PUMPKIN BREAD PUDDING1 cup heavy cream

  3/4 cup canned solid-pack pumpkin

  1/2 cup whole milk

  1/2 cup sugar

  2 large eggs plus 1 yolk

  1/4 teaspoon salt

  1 tsp. ground cinnamon

  1/4 tsp. ...

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PUMPKIN BREAD PUDDING1 cup heavy cream

3/4 cup canned solid-pack pumpkin

1/2 cup whole milk

1/2 cup sugar

2 large eggs plus 1 yolk

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp. ground ginger

Pinch of ground cloves

6 cups cubed (1-inch) day-old baguette or crusty bread

3/4 stick unsalted butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350 degrees, with rack in middle.

Whisk together cream, pumpkin, milk, sugar, eggs, yolk, salt and spices in a bowl.

Toss bread with butter in another bowl, then add pumpkin mixture and toss to coat. Transfer to an ungreased, 8-inch square baking dish and bake until custard is set, 25 to 30 minutes. This can also be served with caramel sauce.

PUMPKIN SOUFFLE BREAD PUDDING WITH CARAMEL SAUCE1 cup whole milk

1 cup heavy cream

9 oz. egg bread or rolls, crusts removed and cut into 1/2-inch cubes

31/2 oz. (7 Tbsp.) butter

1/4 cup brown sugar

1/4 tsp. cinnamon

Pinch of nutmeg

4 egg yolks

1 cup pumpkin purée, at room temperature

3 egg whites

1 Tbsp. sugar

1/2 tsp. salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

In a small saucepan, bring milk and cream to a simmer over low heat. Place cubes in bowl. Remove milk mixture from heat, and pour half of the liquid over the bread cubes. The milk will be hot and better able to absorb into the bread.

In a mixer, cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add cinnamon, nutmeg and egg yolks, beating well. Add pumpkin purée and the other half of the heated cream and milk.

Fold the soaked bread into the pumpkin mixture. Beat the egg whites and sugar until they form stiff peaks and gently fold into the batter. Butter and sugar eight, 3-inch ramekins, then divide batter evenly among them. If you are afraid the pumpkin mixture will rise above the dish, tie a piece of buttered parchment paper on the outside and secure with a string. This will keep the mixture from running over the edge. Bake for 25 minutes or until knife comes out clean. Baked puddings can be wrapped and kept in the refrigerator for up to three days, then heated in the oven wrapped in foil. You can also reheat in the microwave.

CARAMEL SAUCE11/4 cups (packed) dark brown sugar

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter

1/2 cup whipping cream

Powdered sugar for sifting

Whisk brown sugar and butter in heavy medium saucepan over medium heat until butter melts. Whisk in cream and stir until sugar dissolves and sauce is smooth, about 3 minutes.

Sift powdered sugar over bread pudding. Serve warm with caramel sauce.

Next January, my friend Janet and I are scheduled to lead a women's retreat on being fearless.

Our friend, Judith, asked us to lead the retreat several months ago, and because it was so far away, it seemed like something I could accomplish, so I readily agreed.

It was Janet's idea to teach on being fearless. I don't exactly know how she came up with the title, but she must see herself a little differently than I do.

Maybe there are things that we should do sometimes but are too timid, thinking we might fail or be laughed at, or just be criticized by those who never even made an effort.

When I was growing up, my dad attempted to teach me, and my two sisters, to be brave. He would try to toughen us up by scaring us every chance he had. Or maybe he just thought that was fun.

My mom never thought this was acceptable parenting, but looking back, I think it worked. I remember one Halloween when the Boggy Creek monster movie came to our theater.

My dad insisted that my sisters and I accompany him to the movie. Since the movie was set in swamps and we were living in south Louisiana, which is covered with swamps, the movie monster was believable to us.

My dad spun tale after tale of seeing large hairy beasts in the swamp when he was duck hunting. The night we came home from the movie, my dad opened the door and let us all go in the house and get settled. We probably went upstairs to our room to get ready for bed.

He was counting on us letting the uneasiness of the movie fade away before he decided to scare us again. I came downstairs and sat in his favorite chair. This old, worn recliner was located in the den next to the window. Like lots of dad chairs, it was situated for prime, straight-on viewing of the TV. I probably had not been in the chair for 10 minutes when I heard something outside. Of course, our dachshund began to bark.

My mom must not have been home, so I called out to Dad to tell him what I heard. No answer came back from him, so I called to my sisters to come downstairs.

Minutes passed and the electricity went off and that was when the scratching started. The three of us began to scream, but then I immediately hushed them so I could assess our dangerous situation. My sisters were whimpering quietly when the growling and thrashing began.

We were literally scared out of our wits when the rational part of my brain kicked in. What were the chances of the boggy creek monster being outside our house or even knowing we had just viewed a documentary of his life?

We were, after all, in Lake Charles, La., and he was last spotted in Fouke, Ark. I was trying to calmly explain this to my younger sisters when a branch hit the window. I was crouching and could barely see a large dark figure crossing our yard hauling what appeared to be a tree branch.

All of this drama took place in minutes but it seemed like hours. At the loud crash of limbs and growling, we began to yell for daddy.

Simultaneously, the electricity was restored and we heard someone knocking at the back door. I had thought to lock the door when the dog began to bark. Daddy was locked out of the house.

I think we all put two-and-two together, when we realized dad was outside. After all, he did have a history of scaring us.

Years later, all three of us remember the boggy creek monster episode, but I no longer fear such a creature.

My anxieties are more mature and refined. It is not a fear of someone hurting me, but a fear of someone I love getting hurt.

I have a fear of cancer returning, even though it has been nine years. Of course, I don't think about it all the time like I did when it first happened.

I have a fear of not doing well enough at work, a fear of not knowing enough to lead a retreat or a fear of forgetting something that should have been done.

I even have an occasional fear of losing my memory (sometimes this is a daily fear).

Because of these feelings of fear, I often talk to other women. They acknowledge my fears and add some of their own; a fear of losing their parents or their children or husband, a fear of dying, a fear of not having enough money to pay bills, a fear of being sued, a fear of not having any friends, a fear of the economy or the future . the list goes on and on.

I don't think that fear is the way we should live our lives. I am sure that God does not want us to spend our time fretting and worrying. I know that fearing things steals my contentment.

Fear can crowd the joy out of our hearts. Some of us might occasionally have good reasons to experience fear. Much of what we are anxious about is either beyond our control or never happens.

I was recently reading a new book by Max Lucado called "Fearless." Janet bought it for me, thinking it would give me some ideas for the ladies retreat. She obviously thinks I need to read about "fearlessness" to prepare to speak.

As I began to read, I realized how pointless it is to fear. God tells us to "fear not" at least 125 times in the Bible, knowing that worry is part of our human nature. It also says not to worry because worrying won't add a single moment to our lives, and not to worry about tomorrow because each day has enough worries of its own.

Hannah came home last weekend with her fiancé, Ben. She is in the process of interviewing for medical school and has much anxiety and fear of not getting a place.

Even though she has had several interviews and feel like they went well, she still worries that everything won't work out like she hopes . and it might not. But even if she can't get in this year she can try again if that is her dream. Things seem to work out.

I received a frantic call from a friend who was planning a dinner party. She was fearful that her food would not be good. She added that she had not had time to really clean her house well and that her guests would think she was a bad housekeeper and a poor cook.

She had about two hours before her guests would arrive and had not even started to cook. She was calling to get some last-minute advice on her menu.

I could hear dogs barking in the background, a child wailing and a door slamming. I wished I could have rescued her, but I assured her when everyone was seated together enjoying each other, all would be forgiven.

I could tell she was on the brink of tears, and I could hear the tension in her voice. Perhaps she wished she was not entertaining that evening or that she would have ordered pizza or barbecue instead of preparing a meal. She was fearful that her efforts would not be good enough.

I suggested she served ice cream for dessert, with a topping of fresh fruit and cut the homemade pie since she was running out of time. She would gain about 30 minutes, which would be enough time to throw all her messes into a room and shut the door.

We hung up with her promising to call me and let me know how everything went. The next day I received a call. Her voice was giddy with excitement. She loved entertaining friends and everyone had complemented her on her cooking.

She said she felt like a cell mate . I mean a soul mate of Martha Stewart, the mother of entertaining. Of course, this is the ultimate in compliments to a hostess.

I have always feared soufflés. They are usually difficult to make and are delicate to handle. One slam of the oven door and the top will cave in, making it suitable only to be topped with ice cream.

Since it is October, and the weather seems to be getting cooler, I felt like cooking with pumpkin. I prepared a pumpkin bread pudding soufflé, which puffed slightly in the oven. After two tries, I achieved my goal. I still had cubed bread left over, so I prepared an old standby, pumpkin bread pudding with caramel cranberry sauce.

My first attempt at the soufflé failed, probably because I mixed the egg whites into the pumpkin sauce too briskly. The second attempt yielded a lighter texture.

Both of these recipes are delicious and can be prepared ahead. The puddings are perfect for the Thanksgiving meal, so keep the recipe in your file for November. Enjoy.

Myra Starkey lives in Victoria. Write her in care of the Advocate, P.O. Box 1518, Victoria, TX 77901, or e-mail myra@vicad.com.

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