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'Chupacabra the Musical'

By BY APRILL BRANDON - ABRANDON@VICAD.COM
Oct. 28, 2009 at 5:28 a.m.
Updated Oct. 30, 2009 at 5:30 a.m.


Editor's note: "Chupacabra the Musical" is meant entirely to be ficticious and as a satire. It's all a lie. Don't believe any of it. Any relationship between people, or creatures, living or dead (except Aprill and the chupacabra, of course) is unintentional.

Much to the disbelief of all involved, approval was once again granted to make yet another chupacabra video.

I know! We're just as shocked as you are!

After the enormous success of our first video "The Hunt for the Elusive Chupacabra" (and thanks to all three of you who watched it) and its sequel "Chupacabra II: Even Chupier" (kudos to all five of those viewers), it was only natural to turn the franchise into a trilogy. And in an effort to top our previous efforts (which, trust me, isn't hard to do), this time we here at the Victoria Advocate have taken on our most ambitious script to date.

"Chupacabra the Musical" continues the story of a stupid Yankee ... er ... intrepid reporter and her attempts to capture the mythical chupacabra. As an added bonus, to torture all involved (including viewers), this time we added music and extremely poor choreography.

To find out more about this project, I scored an in-depth interview with myself, who wrote and starred in the video, despite my busy schedule.

Aprill: So, how did you come up with the idea of "Chupacabra the Musical?"

Aprill: That's actually a really interesting story. One day, my friend, Manuel, said, "Hey, you should make "Chupacabra the Musical." And I said, "Yeah, I should."

Aprill: You're so brilliant.

Aprill: I know.

Aprill: So how is this video, the third in the series, different from the other two?

Aprill: Well, for one, it's a musical. We actually wrote and performed the music ourselves here at the Advocate, which let me just apologize for that now. And two, it's ... well, that's about all that's different. It's pretty much the same old crappy script, just with some crappy singing and dancing added.

Aprill: I see, I see. So, I've heard we'll be seeing some new faces in this video. Is that true?

Aprill: Absolutely. Amazingly enough, it was hard to recruit the veterans of the former chupacabra videos. Things like "that stupid video made me a laughingstock" and "Aprill ruined my journalism career" were being thrown around. Luckily, I don't pay things like that any mind. So, we had to go to Plan B, which was to sucker some of our more naive co-workers into participating.

Aprill: But the producer/director TC Baker is still involved, correct?

Aprill: For the most part. He cried a lot on set, which made it hard to shoot scenes, and we had to keep stopping him from trying to hang himself, which really ate into our production schedule. But luckily, we have a new intern, Drew the Intern, who stepped in whenever TC's mental breakdown got the best of him.

Aprill: There is a rumor going around that you're actually quite a horrible singer. What do you say to that?

Aprill: I won't even dignify that with a response. But if I was going to dignify it with a response, that response would be, if my singing is so bad, why do dogs applaud my singing by howling?

Aprill: Excellent point, Aprill. So any plans for a fourth chupacabra video?

Aprill: Of course! We're thinking something along the line of "Chupacabra IV: Can You Believe They Let Us Do Another One?" Or perhaps "Chupacabra IV: Someone's Definitely Getting Fired Over This One."

We're hoping to get Orlando Bloom to star as the main love interest.

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