Voices of faith: What can one do about the faithful churchgoers who act hateful?
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Ideals get twisted
The Rev. Pat Rush, pastor, Visitation Catholic Church, Kansas City, Mo.:
All faith communities are bedeviled by the contradiction between the teachings of their religion and the moral behavior of their members. That's because religion holds out ideals, whereas believers, in our sinfulness, misunderstand, ignore and otherwise twist those ideals. In every faith community, one can find arrogance, greed and hatefulness. Regretful as this may be, that's human nature.
The first step toward addressing the contradiction you are experiencing would be to discern the history and motives for the hatefulness. Is it directed at many people or at one individual? Is it prompted by prejudice or by bitterness over some past offense? Such discernment is best done by the pastor or another staff person who has a designated responsibility for the community. Meanwhile though, when other church members see such behavior, they should call its inconsistency to the attention of the perpetrators. Everyone has a responsibility for the good workings of their faith community.
Such efforts will bear fruit only if the parties involved are open to hearing the critique and want to change. Such change or conversion is one of the primary purposes of religion. Depending on the history and motives for the hatefulness, this conversion might require more than just a word from the pastor. It might require professional counseling or mediation. Certainly it requires support, prayer and forgiveness from the rest of the community.
HAVE COMPASSION
The Rev. Duke Tufty, Unity Temple on the Plaza:
When a person acts hateful, there is a reason for it. Some incident or a series of incidents from the past initiated the hate, and the more they thought about it the more dominant of an attitude it became until it was too painful to carry. So, for temporary relief, the person projects the negative characteristic toward something in the world around them. We have all witnessed or been subjected to hateful, hurtful words by another person.
In situations like this there are three things you can do. First, do not take responsibility for the way the other person is acting but do take responsibility for the way you react to them. Second, have compassion for them. If a person expresses hate, that person has hate within them and that hurts. Third, imagine yourself in their place. If it were you expressing hate, how would you want others to treat you? Most likely with understanding, patience and forgiveness.
We know when somebody is hateful and we respond in a similar manner, things get worse. If we don't respond at all, things stay the same, and when we respond in a positive way, things get better. In any given situation or circumstance you can make things better or you can make things worse. What are you going to feel better about doing at the end of the day?
Voices of Faith: Send your questions for one of our panels of religion columnists to Helen Gray at The Star, 1729 Grand Blvd., Kansas City, MO 64108. Send e-mail to hgray@kcstar.com.
Comments
It pains me when hippocrates who profess their Christianity act in a manor that offers a poor testimony to the prospective convert. Christ example was not to be a counselor to the Kings and priest of his time but to minister to the harlots, the unclean [leopards], and the unchurched. Particularly agonizing as these hypocrites are not content with quietly preaching their false doctrines of greed, disdain for the poor, and the willful persecution of those who do not fall in line with their false theocracies that serves as a road to hell, they loudly proclaim their lies, and hold themselves up as the pillars of the Church.
October 28, 2009 at 7:28 p.m.