Aprill Brandon does what she does best...drink beer

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I take back everything bad I've ever said about my bosses (well, hypothetically, of course, considering I've never said anything bad about them ever...and I really want a raise).

After years of doing unimportant stories, such as elections and corruption in government, I finally got an assignment that is worthwhile.

Beer.

With the Spoetzl Brewery turning 100 this year, it was my journalistic duty to try out their famous Shiner beer and objectively and scientifically judge the various flavors they have on tap.

Woot!

And so, with a variety six-pack of Shiner's Family Reunion, I sat down and did some hard-core journalistic work. Now mind you, I am by no means a beer expert. But I have had a lot of practice drinking beer and did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night, so please do keep that in mind.

Beer No. 1, Shiner Bock

One of Spoetzl Brewery's best-selling beers, Shiner Bock is a good introduction into craft beers if you've never had one before. With a nice, subtle flavor and a rich, amber color, it's stronger-tasting than most of those mainstream watered-down beers, but with a smooth, mellow taste. I can definitely see why it's one of the most popular. I also detect some barley and hops in it. Yes, definitely barley and hops.

Beer. No. 2, Shiner Blonde

With a lighter color, and lighter taste, this beer is perfect for sitting outside on a warm summer evening. It has a crisp, refreshing taste and isn't as heavy as some of Shiner's other beers. I guess blondes do have more fun. (What? Too cheesy?).

Beer No. 3, Shiner Smokehaus

It's like a barbecue in a bottle! You can actually...(hiccup)...oh, excuse me...taste the smokiness. The brewery actually smokes the...um...stuff that goes in it in an actual smokehouse. Man, now I'm craving some...(hiccup)...barbecue. You guys ever had brisket? Dude, that stuff is the bomb.

Beer No. 4, Shiner Hossenfeffer...er...Hefeweiner...um...Hefeweizen?

Firsst of, this ber is wicked fun to say. It's sweater tasting than some of the ohter Shiner bbeers and...(hiccup)...it's a pterry color. I like it. Thinks I may drunk more.

Beer No. 5, Shiner Black Lager

Woo! Ow! Dudes, this stuf not for amarateurs. Its'n like harrd-core beer. Lucksly, I can hadle my boooze. Hey...hey...youse guy know what? I love yu. So mucc. Yourn...just awesome, man. Sresiosly, yoru like my bess frin...

Beer No. 6, Shiner Light

Uh...whsatz Im posed to bee doin' 'gain? Oh...(hiccup)...yeah...beer...Zzzzzzzzzz...

Related stories:

Brewery gives Bock to Shiner

Shiner carries on tradition of making kosher beer

Shiner beer's sixth brewmaster is home grown

Spoetzl Brewery timeline

Festivals abound in October


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Comments

  • nice!

    October 5, 2009 at 3:01 p.m.
  • Cut her some slack, DollyD. She's just a slip of a woman. Twelve ounces of anything affects her more than most of us.

    October 4, 2009 at 2:11 a.m.
  • Anyway, I was in the beer aisle at HEB, and, mirabile dictu! - I found a sixpack of Shiner Commemoration beer, so I decided to help Aprill celebrate this important birthday.

    Whew! If this a cure for a disease, it must be one nasty microbe. After the first bottle, pinprick flashes of light intruded on my consciousness. The second one made me walk bowlegged, but I made it to the bathroom okay, although I nearly cracked my shin on the porcelain. After the third one, . . . never mind the third one. I have an airtight alibi. Let the record show I never left the house. I have witnesses.

    October 3, 2009 at 1:59 a.m.
  • Well, that's the order she remembers drinking them in. Except maybe the fifth or sixth.

    October 2, 2009 at 3:17 p.m.
  • Thirteenthjuror,

    The beers aren't ranked. That's just the order I drank them in.

    October 2, 2009 at 2:27 p.m.
  • My motto is "Once you go Bock, you never go back." To regular beer, that is. Shiner - it's beer with meat in it.

    Next in line is a story about cheesecake. I volunteer to help drive.

    October 2, 2009 at 2:23 p.m.
  • April Brandon, have you lost your mind? Are you serious? The best beer WORLDWIDE is ranked 5th? Really? You just THINK you know about beer. Shiner Dark Lager ROCKS. I think you need to try again.

    October 2, 2009 at 12:20 p.m.
  • ahahahaha! Great column once again! Awesome stuff Aprill Brandon! (It's Katie, NOT Lucy)

    October 1, 2009 at 10:08 a.m.
  • lol.

    October 1, 2009 at 7:58 a.m.
  • 6 beers bro? You need a professional, not to say that It would be explained any better, just with a more in depth perception. And the tab on the V.A. would be more, well , lets say accurate.... mmm drink up!

    October 1, 2009 at 12:12 a.m.
  • you go, girl! oh, yeah, you already did. you went, you drank, you conquered your thirst!

    September 30, 2009 at 10:45 p.m.