Wednesday, September 17, 2014




Roller derby competitor declares, 'And we do it with fake nails'

By Jennifer Lee Preyss
Oct. 10, 2010 at 5:10 a.m.

"Greta Ground-n-Pound," Sarah Coronado, center, laughs with her teammates including "Rozy B. Hind," Molly Rand, left, and "Yeti Machete," Amy Taylor, right, during a break in the action of Sunday's Lonestar Roller Derby League exhibition match. Spectators got to see what a real roller derby match would look like even though the teams were made up of members of different teams from Austin.

Roller Derby facts: Roller derby is an American contact sport and is considered an entertainment sporting event.

A match is played with two teams of five skaters comprised of four blockers and two jammers.

Points are scored as the designated scoring player, or jammer, laps members of the opposing team.

Roller derby dates as far back as 1922.

Many of the teams are female, but a handful of teams are now co-ed.

Matches are skated on flat and banked tracks.

Source: Advocate research

CUERO - Roller Derby is a dangerously addictive sport.

Just ask TXRD Lonestar Rollergirls member Jamie Lee Goines, otherwise known as Miss Amerikill.

Donning a Native American headdress and a tan suede Pocahontas costume, Goines, 26, stood Sunday against the roller derby track in the main pavilion of the 38th Annual Cuero Turkeyfest and lit a cigarette.

"I like the headdress. It reminds me of Turkeyfest, and the Indian costume is very Thanksgivingy," she said, turning to fellow derby league member Sarah Coronado and laughing.

Coronado, 30, better known on her Spanksgivings team as Greta Ground-N-Pound, was one of 10 TXRD members to join Goines at the Turkeyfest at 7 a.m. to help build the track where the Rollergirls would skate later that afternoon.

"We build the ramp from the ground up, we skate, and then at the end of the night, we tear it all down again," Goines said. "And we do it with fake nails."

In addition to fancy nails, each skater proudly displays her team colors for the match. Spanksgivings team members wore orange, red, and yellow spandex shirts and shorts with variations of striped socks. The opposing team, the Hallomeanies, wore black costumes with tattered panty hose and shorts.

Even though Goines was excited about the match, she was noticeably disappointed that she would not be able to join Coronado and the rest of her team members on the track. After six years and seven seasons with the league, Goines was forcibly retired last January after a third derby-related injury sent her to the hospital with a serious concussion.

"My last concussion put me in a coma-like state for two days. Apparently I was awake, but I don't remember," Goines said. "The doctor told me if I got another concussion, I may stay in that awake coma state and not recover completely. "

But even without skating, Goines has decided to remain on the league as a non-competing member and retain part ownership of the TXRD league.

Each of TXRD's 80 roller derby skaters hold a percentage ownership in the league, Goines said.

As a non-skater at Sunday's match, Goines served her league members as the Penalty Mistress, spinning the penalty wheel and emceeing during penalty calls. Some of the penalties on the wheel included pillow fights, tug-of-war and relay races.

Goines was forced to spin the wheel after Spanksgiving team member Rozy B. Hind illegally flattened Lacy Bones on the track. The penalty wheel was spun to see how the girls would face off.

"Looks like we have a pillow fight," Goines shouted at the roaring crowd.

After two hours on the track and several more penalties, the Spankgivings team won the roller derby match over the Hallomeanies, 46-41.

"I think this is so awesome, and I hope Turkeyfest brings it back next year," David Zorn, Turkeyfest attendee, said about the roller derby match. "You can tell they really love what they do."

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