Squirrels really aren't trying to commit suicide
By BY SHARON FLOOD
March 24, 2011 at midnight
Updated March 23, 2011 at 10:24 p.m.
I have to ask if anyone besides me has noticed that spring has brought about bizarre behavior from the squirrels. Seems every time I drive anywhere, three or four of them run headlong into the road, just in front of my jeep, intent on committing suicide.
I have named them terrorist squirrels. Or better yet, al Qaeda squirrels, because they obviously are on a suicide mission and mean harm to all Americans.
They will cause us bodily harm from slamming on the brakes to keep from hitting them. Theirs is not a really big mission. They can only get to us, one at a time.
But, get to us, they will. You can almost hear them laughing as they scamper up the tree on the side of the road opposite where they were before you passed them in your vehicle, heart pounding from the near miss.
No matter how carefully I watch, one always manages to dart out at the last second. Almost always right beneath my tires, so that it is nearly impossible for me to stop. Inevitably, one must be a squished squirrel.
But, oh please, no. I just could not live with myself if I did that to one of those cute little furry critters. So, I drive ever so slowly, and ever so carefully. Watching all the while all along the side of the street.
Oh, if you must get scientific, then so be it, but it is so much more fun to picture them on a mission of world-wide consequences. They are, of course, mating at this time of year, which most likely accounts for their behavior.
Also, if this is just mating, it is my contention that someone should teach them "safe sex". Is it really worth risking life and limb with a mad dash across a busy street to reach your sweetheart on the other side? It would appear that it is - to a squirrel, at least.
So, perhaps they are not really Kamikaze squirrels ... just little furry critters in love.
Some science of the terrorist/kamikaze squirrels - Squirrels have adopted a diurnal life style; they're most active around dawn and dusk - which happen to be during our winter rush hours.
Jon H. Kaas, a comparative neuroscientist at Vanderbilt University says of the squirrel, "Its primary visual cortex is huge." That means it has great straight-ahead vision, and its peripheral vision's just as sharp. Squirrels can see what's above and beside them without head movement. However, others have noted that their ability to adjust to modern vehicles' size and speed seems limited.
And their evasive maneuvers, zigzagging, may be very effective in throwing off a predatory hawk's aim but is less useful in avoiding the four wheels of a car or truck. Bad news for male squirrels extremely intent - at top speed - while pursuing a female during winter mating season.
Squirrels' zigzagging behavior is a great defensive maneuver to throw off an aerial predator's aim, but bad news for squirrels dodging in front of cars and trucks
Sharon Flood, a Mid-Coast Chapter, Texas Master Naturalist, contributed this story. Paul and Mary Meredith are master naturalists. Contact them at firstname.lastname@example.org.