Sideline chatter: That pesky helmet law . . .
Well, mobster Al Capone only got busted for tax evasion, didn't he?
A naked woman riding a motorcycle got pulled over in Constanta, Romania, and cops_stumped to come up with a better charge_finally ticketed her for riding without a helmet.
LEAVE 'EM LAUGHING
CBC's Don Cherry took to Twitter to describe beleaguered Canucks goalie Roberto Luongo as "the biggest escape goat of all time."
Maybe, but wouldn't Luongo have to get run out of Vancouver first?
No wonder the Detroit Tigers released veteran infielder Brandon Inge.
"Since the start of the 2011 season," wrote Michael Rosenberg of the Detroit Free Press. "Inge has hit .190, with a .255 on-base percentage and .284 slugging percentage. How awful is that? Well, last season batters went .192/.242/.313 against Justin Verlander.
"Inge turned every pitcher in the major leagues into Justin Verlander."
_At TheOnion.com: "Phil Jackson enjoying retirement on Montana ranch with egomaniacal livestock who hate each other."
_At Fark.com: "The Orioles are one of the best teams in baseball? Well played, Mayans."
The Clippers' Blake Griffin shot air balls on back-to-back free throws against the Hawks last month.
On the plus side, he's now an honorary member of the North Korean Aeronautical Society.
MIGHT BE A TIE, THOUGH
"Reports are the NFL might suspend its Pro Bowl all-star game as a possible precursor to eliminating it altogether," wrote Greg Cote of The Miami Herald. "Fans of the Pro Bowl are outraged. Well, one fan is. I couldn't reach the other one."
BURNING THEIR DRAFT CARD
"I don't want to say that the Cleveland Browns are a bad team," wrote Gary Bachman on Facebook, "but two players they drafted have fled to Canada."
_Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on news that the BCS is possibly moving toward a four-team playoff: "This means that the Weekly World News' 'Brazilian Man Eats Two of His Own Toes' is only the second-most shocking headline of the month."
_Warriors center Andrew Bogut, to the San Francisco Chronicle, on why he doesn't have a posse: "What would you do with 'em when you retire? They'd just be looking at you."
_Seattle Times reader Bill Littlejohn, on what the Coyotes' Raffi Torres plans to do during his 25-game suspension: "Pray for World Peace."
_Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, after football coach John L. Smith quit Weber State after just five months to replace Bobby Petrino at Arkansas: "Weber State, you just got Kardashianed."
Hear about the latest Pro Bowl proposal, in which the NFL all-stars play the Cincinnati Bengals?
They'd call it the Pro and Con Bowl.
(c)2012 The Seattle Times
Visit The Seattle Times at www.seattletimes.com
Distributed by MCT Information Services