Drivers need to show a little patience
Aug. 27, 2014 at 11:45 a.m.
Editor, the Advocate:
This is a letter directed to some of the Victoria drivers from an "old retired guy."
What's up with you in that monster pickup truck with the enormous iron thing on the front following me mere inches from my back bumper? Do you believe both you and I are immune to the basic laws of physics?
I have news - we're not immune. And you're so close that if I had to stop quickly, that monster truck you're driving, along with the iron thing, would be joining me in my front seat. Not a pretty picture.
I've tried outrunning you, but I've learned that both my car and I are too old, too tired and too worn out to be able to put much distance between us. And the faster I go, the faster you go, so it's a self-defeating strategy.
Trust me. I know that an old guy in an old car is frustrating to you, and you've got places to go, things to do. I assure you I'll try my very best to get out of the way of both you and that iron thing on the front of your monster truck just as soon as I possibly can.
And speaking of that iron thing, whatever in the world is it? Back in the day, railroads had steam locomotives, and they all had a big iron thing on the front that people called a "cowcatcher." Is that what that iron thing is - a cowcatcher? If so, it must be working wondrously well, for I have not noticed a single cow roaming loose on the streets of Victoria.
Congratulations! You've caught them all! Yippee-ki-yay, cowboy!
But please, the next time you rush up lickety-split behind some old geezer in his old Buick, show just a little patience, and give me and my Buick time to get the heck out of your way!
James Cole, Victoria