Revelations: Answered prayers can be sweet
There is nothing sweeter than answered prayers.
And it's tough to continue in prayer sometimes when you're tired of talking to, pleading with, begging and bartering with God to answer the same darn prayer you've been praying for years with no answer.
So when the answer comes, good or bad, it truly is a special event.
For the past few weeks, just about every day, God has been showing up, answering prayers.
And these weren't the Santa Claus prayers. These were the big-time, long-time, must-have, almost-to-the-point-of-giving-up prayers.
Yet for whatever reason, he decided now was the time I needed answers. He decided now was the time to pour down.
Imagine for a moment what that would look like in your life.
What would you feel or think or desire if you could feel the greatest desires of your heart take shape? Better yet, what if you knew they were taking shape with God's blessing?
That's what the past few weeks have felt like for me.
Every day, each morning for the past few weeks, I've been waking up to another blessing - another answered prayer.
Some are more subtle than others, but each is special and obvious.
They make me smile; they make me cry; they make me feel overwhelmed and humbled.
I have no idea why they're all happening at he same time, but it's as if God wants to remind me, "See, you haven't been alone. I've been here. I've been listening. It just wasn't time yet."
I know for some, God and faith is an area of struggle.
They struggle to pray; they struggle to believe; they struggle to submit.
I, too, have struggled.
I have carried around a lot of pain and hurt from years ago, compounded with a few incidents in more recent years.
But since becoming a believer nearly a decade ago, my struggle was never one of disbelief.
It was always a struggle of obedience and fear.
Fear was huge for me. Fear of rejection and failure, fear of losing and success.
But even as a coward, I walked forward; I took risks. I forgave when I didn't want to and prayed for those who opposed me.
I was never angry with God when obstacles and failures reared their ugly heads. I asked for healing, and I asked for solutions, and I asked for wisdom.
When I did experience spiritual anger, it was usually directed at myself because I didn't have a heart of obedience.
In many ways, I still don't.
But perfection isn't an obtainable goal in my lifetime. The more I ask God to make me more like his son, the more I realize how far I have to go.
The gap has become wider since conversion - not smaller.
But even amid my many (countless) imperfections, I am loved and whole.
Today. I am as close to the perfect version of myself as I will ever be. And tomorrow, I will be also.
So perhaps I'm being rewarded because I've chosen to wade through the storms. Not just the recent ones but also the ones from decades ago.
Perhaps I'm being rewarded because I'm going after my dream, and when God wants a dream to come to pass, he opens doors and creates opportunities to make it happen.
Or perhaps he's a kind God who decided to exact his love and providence like manna falling from the sky.
I don't need to know why anymore.
Because either way, I'm certain he's listening.
Jennifer Preyss is the faith editor for the Victoria Advocate. You can reach her at 361-580-6535, jenniferpreyss.com or on Twitter @jenniferpreyss.