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A rough spot in the road
By juliezavala in My Turn
November 3, 2010

For the past couple of nights Dad has been very agitated. He's positive he has to be at work and he's going to be fired if he doesn't get there fast. When I try to explain that he's retired, he doesn't work for the railroad (it's Sunday for goodness sake!) he doesn't listen. I try to distract him with food, funny shows on t.v., you name it, but nothing is working. My sunny little Dad has been sorely absent and I miss him.

My Daughter, Granddaughter and Sister-in-law were visiting this weekend, Monday and Tuesday. It was so nice to laugh with them. We went to the movies while the sitter stayed with Dad on Monday and saw, "Hereafter". I liked the movie a lot. It had a slower pace than most movies but it was a welcomed break.

I'm thinking about asking the sitter service to watch Dad on Thursdays, too. I feel so torn between my job and my Dad. Especially if he's switching into a new, angry stage in this disease. Last night I could barely control him as he cursed and went from door to door demanding the key so he could leave and go to work. It took all my coaxing to convince him to sit and eat his supper, take a shower, listen to music.

At one point in the evening I was talking to my daughter, Janine, who had called from the airport. She was having problems of her own with her three year old but she said, "Give him the phone. I'll pretend I'm someone from the railroad." I handed Daddy the phone and she spoke to him in a lower voice with a southern drawl. She told him that he was cleared for vacation time and he had nothing to worry about; they were aware of his absence. He asked for her phone number so he could call in to work the next day. He handed me the phone and asked me to write the number down for him. Janine gave me a bogus phone number and I scribbled it on a post-it note. After I ended the call he told me to put that number somewhere safe--he was going to report to them in the morning.

This has been rough. Who could have known the guilt, anxiety and frustration tied up in caring for this man obsessed with work? But I'm an optimist. As Mom always said, "This too shall pass." I'm just going to have to ride out this rough time and do the best I can for him.