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In search of daycare
By juliezavala in My Turn
October 5, 2010

Image In an effort to find someplace for my Dad to stay while I work each day I took him to visit a couple of adult daycare facilities. Along the way to the first one Daddy was reading out loud some of the store signs and billboards we passed. "Lacks. Wonder what they're lacking?", he asked. When we pulled into the parking lot of ___, my Dad read the sign, "Adult Daycare Center". He repeated it to himself, "Adult Daycare?" He got quiet. It took a little convincing, but I finally got him to go inside with me. Once inside I could see right away that this was no place for him. It was filled with mostly mentally and physically challenged patients. There were rows of cafeteria tables set up across the room with fold-out chairs filled with bored looking people, young and old. Nearby there was an area for watching t.v. and a few people lounged there watching something. The nurse was very nice and personable and overworked. She explained their main clientele were the mentally retarded and I think she said, M.S. patients. She hopes to branch off and open another facility that would just be for elderly patients, but presently, this was how it was. This group was pretty much their bread and butter. I thanked her as I helped my Dad up. We walked out the front door and the first thing Daddy said was,"Boy, I think those people had mental problems!" So said my dad with Alzheimer's disease.

I felt so relieved to help him into the car and drive away from that place. Yes, maybe he's lost a lot of his memory and he sometimes speaks nonsense, but he's my dad and I want the best for him. He still has enough snap to be funny and to read signs and make jokes. He trusts me and he loves me. I have to find some place that he'll be safe and happy.

In addition to Alzheimer's disease Dad has renal failure. His kidneys are shutting down; no longer able to do the filtering job they used to. He's on hospice care. The people from hospice are angels plain and simple. Today one of the hospice nurses came by to do further assessment of Daddy's case. Since he was resting comfortably in his room the nurse and I sat at the kitchen table and talked for a while. I told her my concerns about being a caregiver. She had some great insight and suggestions. Her dad had recently passed away and she had been his main caregiver during his illness. She listened to me patiently and told me how it had been for her. By the time she left I felt so much better about the situation.

Tomorrow I'm going to my job to work for a while. My husband, Robert, will stay with my Dad and do some of his own work from home while I'm gone. Robert is another angel in my life; he's so supportive and caring. I don't know what I would do without him; he's my best friend.