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Going with the flow
By juliezavala in My Turn
October 15, 2010

Image I have to keep reminding myself that every day is going to be different. Life is like that--it's constantly changing. Some days are better than others. Today was a good day. Oh, it started out a little strange when my Dad got up at 2:30 am and decided he had to go to work again. But I had a secret weapon this time that I didn't think to use last time. Here's how it went: The motion detector went off (it's old news now, I don't jump out of bed like a scared rabbit anymore) so I knew he was out of his room. A few minutes later he walked out of the bathroom and back to his bedroom door. I saw him just standing there, thinking. Not a good sign, this thinking business. Meanwhile the motion detector was beeping constantly as he stood in the doorway. I walked quickly down the hall and asked, "Daddy? You need some help getting back to bed?" I think I startled him because he jumped a little. He said, "No, Lady (his nickname for me since I was little), I've got to go to work!" That's when I pulled my 'trump card' out of the deck. "But Daddy, it's SUNDAY!" I lied. He looked sort of sheepish. "Sunday?" he asked. "Yeah, it's Sunday and you don't work on Sunday, right?" I managed to ask this without giggling, I was so proud of myself. He turned to the bed and sat down. I pulled the covers back so he could lie down. "Well hell, I'm going back to bed then!" he said, as he snuggled under the covers. (Score!)

My jubilation was short lived. Ten minutes later the dreaded motion detector went off again. This time I didn't try any mind games. The house was locked up tight as a drum with no escape in sight for this 85-year-old former Southern Pacific employee with the amazing work ethic. I had another inspiration; maybe he was hungry. I brought him a bowl of raisin bran and milk and set it on his little table. Sure enough, he said thanks and started eating. So maybe sometimes this 'going to work' bit is a cry for something else like food, warmth, or maybe just some company. I kissed him goodnight and went back to bed. An hour or so later I checked on him again. He was sound asleep.

He woke up around 9:30 a.m. which is early for him. He didn't seem to want to leave his room so I set him up with a bowl of cheerios, some music on his cd player and I gave him one of his many books about trains. After he ate he studied and read that train book for at least four hours, pausing only to go to the bathroom. Then it was right back to his recliner with the book. I brought him coffee and water and he was content to just read. He stopped reading again to eat some lunch.

At 1:30 the Senior Helpers coordinator, Jan Mahoney, came by and helped me get my Dad set up with a companion/sitter. She was great and I felt like I was making a good decision by making arrangements to leave Dad in their care. The companion starts on Monday which means I get to go back to work on Monday! We'll see how it goes.

At around 5 p.m. Daddy finally came into the living room. I made a fresh pot of coffee and we took our cups of coffee outside to the patio. I had to run back into the house to get my sandals. While I was inside, my dad walked toward the back fence and was standing behind the oak tree, looking at the sky. I came back out and walked up behind him. He evidently didn't hear me because I saw him step back behind the tree to hide and then he slowly looked around the tree toward the house. He was hoping to scare me. That's when I said, "Boo!" He jumped about a mile and said, "Lady!" I laughed until I had tears in my eyes. He laughed, too. We spent the next 15 minutes recounting the whole incident and laughing about it all over again. We are that easily entertained.

At 6:30 pm we headed out to find someplace to watch the sunset and to (hopefully) see a train go by. Yesterday the train went by at 6:48 p.m. so our plan was to park the car near the train tracks and wait for it. We stopped at Whataburger first and I got my Dad a hamburger and chocolate shake, a diet coke for myself. Just over hwy.59 from John Stockbauer we crossed the railroad tracks and parked in the parking lot of a business nearby. As daddy ate his burger we listened to the Linda Ronstadt album, 'What's New?' This is one of my Dad's favorites. So with the sun setting in the West and Linda Ronstadt crooning on the stereo we laughed and talked and waited for the train. It never came but that was no big deal. We just resolved to try to catch it tomorrow. I took pictures of the crescent moon against the sunset background and the telephone poles. Today was different. It was a good kind of different. It seems the more I learn about my Dad the better this 'difference' gets.