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I'm no saint
By juliezavala in My Turn
October 20, 2010

I have a confession to make; I told my mother before she died that there was no way I could watch my dad if she were to pass away. I told her I couldn't handle the responsibility of taking care of someone with Alzheimer's disease even if it was my own father. I started to feel differently after the weeks that I cared for Mama. I was surprised at how much I could handle. I was amazed that I felt a sense of gratitude...I don't know if that's the word I'm looking for. It was like a gift, a wealth of experience that I knew would be tough but, in the end, I would be a better person for it.

After Mom's funeral I told my brother that I would take Dad to live with me. But he (Jody) told me that he wanted to do it. He lives nearest to most of our siblings so it made sense that daddy stay with him and his wife; it would be easier for everybody to visit daddy there. Dad lived there for six months and I know Jody did the best he could. But it was hard for Jody and his wife. They were trying to run a daycare from their home and they had two teenage children who had school and sporting events they would like to go to.

One day, after spending the weekend with Dad, something clicked. Dad should live with me and Robert. It was a long drive back and forth to visit him in Vidor and Jody needed a break. And I wanted to spend more time with Daddy. The more I thought about it the better it sounded. I talked to my husband, Robert, and, as in all things, he was very supportive. The next day I called my brother and told him I wanted Dad.

And now he's here with me in Victoria and it's great. This evening when I got off work I went home and picked him up and we got a hamburger from Whataburger (I had a Subway sandwich). We drove out to our new favorite park, Saxet Lakes, and had a picnic. I had checked out some cd's from the library earlier today and we listened to them play on the car stereo as we sat at the picnic table eating. Dad's Whataburger meal came with a strawberry shake and french fries. I set the fries in the middle of the table for us to share. I was happily munching on one of the fries when Daddy asked, "Can I have one of your fries?" I told him, "I guess so, since they're your fries." We both got a laugh out of that.

I'm a lucky woman. I've been given the opportunity to make my Dad's life better; to make whatever time he has left on this earth happier. I never dreamed that this could be so rewarding. Maybe that's the word I was looking for earlier; rewarding. Because it is. It's not something that I could have known before. I was given a choice. Luckily for me, I made the right choice.