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Don't cry Lady...
By juliezavala in My Turn
April 19, 2011

Dad notices more than he lets on. Today, as we were sitting in the living room watching Andy Griffith on Netflix he looked at me and told me that I was stronger than I knew. And then he told me, don't cry Lady.

As I sat there on the couch trying my best not to do just that, he talked to me about other things - some made sense, some didn't. But as I walked over to his chair and hugged him he told me he loved me. I told him I loved him more than ever. He said, " I know" as he patted my hand.

Dad remembers my name. He smiles when he sees me walk through the door and sometimes he tells me I'm pretty. Oh, he's not always dishing out the compliments; when he's not feeling well or he's cold or I touch him with cold hands, he can be very surly. Then he says some things that I know he doesn't really mean. I know he's just reacting to his discomfort.

But today he was different. He told me he loved me several times and he even agreed to go for a ride in the car with me even though he was short of breath. We went to Whataburger and got food and then we drove around and looked at old historical houses in downtown Victoria. He seemed to enjoy himself.

The fact that my Dad told me not to cry today shows me that he notices my tears when I'm really worried about him. The fact that he feels that I'm stronger than I think I am gives me courage.

If my sweet little old Dad with Alzheimer's and renal failure thinks I can handle the sad times that are sure to come, I will try and live up to his opinion. I'll make him proud. But I can't guarantee I won't cry...