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Give home a chance...
By juliezavala in My Turn
March 31, 2011

For those of you who have older parents who may, in the near future, need to be cared for, I have this advice; try your best to keep them at home with you. They cared for you and probably did the best job they could. Doesn't it make sense to return the favor?

Not all situations are the same, though, and my husband Robert and I are lucky that daddy has enough money to pay for a sitter while we work. Also, hospice cares for him since he has renal failure; a terminal illness.

I guess my point is, I always thought that I would vote to put my parents in a nursing home when they got old. Fate brought me face-to-face with the reality of seeing first-hand how awful that would be for my dad. And just recently when we left Dad at the nursing home for the weekend I saw all the old people there left in the care of others. I thought they seemed isolated from the world. At one point, a little old man walked by, pushing his walker and I know this is awful, but my first thought was, who did you used to be?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not putting down nursing homes. I'm just saying that maybe they could be a last resort. I'm hoping you'll find that when the time comes to make the decision of how to best care for your parent(s) that you'll consider home-care as a first option.

There are all kinds of situations out there. Like I said, we were lucky (in more ways than one.) Dad is a sweet guy who is polite and funny--I mean, that's his basic personality now that he's old. He had a temper when I was growing up so he has changed over the years. I don't know what your relationship is with your parents.

Why do I feel the need to talk you about caring for your parent? I guess I want to let you know that it's possible--that a nursing home is not the inevitable "next step" when your parents get old or sick.

Caring for my Dad has been the most rewarding (and at the same time, most stressful) experience since I raised my four kids. In fact, that's just what my dad seems like--my child. He's funny and despite all the wrinkles, he's cute. He needs my help and he trusts me to take care of him. I wouldn't trade these seven months spent with him for anything!

I know caring for an elderly parent is not for everyone. I'm just letting you know that (in some cases) keeping your parent home with you could be the best thing you have ever done for yourself and for your parent. I hope that when the time comes, you'll give home a chance.