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Dear Alice: My ex-girlfriend talked to me and she still wants to be friends. We had a really bad breakup, which was mainly my fault, but she still brings back painful memories. I want to be friends and still talk to each other, but how can I do this without the hurtful memories coming to mind when I see her? -Regretful Remembering

Dear Regretful Remembering: If it hurts you to talk to your ex-girlfriend or be around her, then you shouldn’t do it. You don’t have to do anything in relationships that you feel is uncomfortable or painful. She is most likely trying to make you feel better about the break up, and this is her way of saying “I’m sorry about what happened, but let’s put it in the past.” She probably just wants to take away the awkwardness that may be between you two now, especially if you have school or activities together. Try remembering only the friendship you used to share, not the romantic relationship that causes emotional stress. That way you focus on the healthy, good part of anything that might be in this friendship. You can still be friends with her if you want to, but don’t be afraid to move on and meet new people and have new experiences. -Lots of Love, Alice