Blogs » Ask Alice » Not Ready to be a Parent


Dear Alice: I think that I might be pregnant. I’ve only ever had sex with one person in my entire life, but I guess I just wasn’t careful enough or something. I told him about it but he just freaks out and won’t talk about it at all. Abortion seems really wrong to me, so I would probably put the baby up for adoption. I’m not a hoe or anything like that; I mean I’ve only ever had sex with one guy! But everyone is going to think I’m an awful and gross person when I’m really not. I’m really confused and I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared and my parents will kill me if they find out what I’ve done. -Not Ready

Dear Not Ready: First of all, I’m sorry you have to go through such a grown up situation so young and without any support from your partner. But yes, you should’ve been more careful and learned how to either not have sex (the surest way to not get pregnant) or use contraceptives appropriately. You need to check your symptoms: a missed period is the fastest way to check if you are pregnant or not. If you have not missed a cycle then you’re probably not pregnant. I know it will be hard, but you need to ask your mom or a trusted friend to take you to get an at-home pregnancy test. Even if you think you already had your period, you still need to take one. If the test reads positive, you must talk to your parents. They can take you to the doctor so you can have an ultrasound and make sure the baby is safe and taken care of. Telling them will be hard, but it will be much better to do that than to hide it from them and hurt the baby by not giving it the medical treatment it needs. At our age, adoption might be the best choice. You could get back into school and still graduate, compared to the many teens that keep the baby but are forced to drop out because of rising expenses. If your partner doesn’t step up to the plate and help you through this, then you need to dump him because he’s just going to pull you down later on. Your counselor and your parents can help you make the right decision for you. If the test comes out negative, then you need to rethink your sex life. Maybe you should talk to your mom about proper contraceptive use or avoid “going all the way.” If your partner doesn’t support these preventative measures then you should stop seeing him. -Lots of Love, Alice