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Dear Alice: I am very good friends with two people at my school, for his I will call them Jake and Lilly. Jake and Lilly have been great friends since we started high school, about 3 years ago. Jake knows where he is going after high school, the air force academy, and nothing can change that. But he is also in love with Lilly, and always has been. Lilly is not as sure, every time I ask her she says she doesn't want to do something that will ruin their friendship if it doesn't work out. Jake loves Lilly and wants to be with her, but is confused because every time he tries to go for her he feels like she pushes him away. He is also wondering if it is worth it, since he will be leaving for the air force academy in the next few years. Ultimately, he just wants to be with Lilly but is scared of her thinking its too much and rejecting him. He's recently come to me for advice asking what to do and I don't know what to tell him. Lilly has been moving on to other guys lately but I think there is a chance she might still like Jake. I don't want to tell him to give up on her, but what if I tell him to tell her how he feels and she rejects him? I don't want to tell him exactly what to do but is there any advice I could give to help him make a decision? -Friendship or More?

Dear Friendship or More?: I know you probably want me to say that you should push them to be together, and I wish that is how the world works. However, I have been where you are right now. My guy friend was totally in love with my best friend, and I pushed them to be together. I even convinced them to go to a school dance together. It really strained their relationship because she didn’t like him as much as he liked her and even made it awkward for a while. I think that you should encourage him to follow his heart, but not to expect her to be as attached as he is. You are a good friend for considering him before starting a relationship between them, though. Honestly, it sound like she just isn’t that into him at the moment, and forcing a relationship now could ruin any chance of one in the future. Tell him to casually ask her out on a date to the movies or something so they can start slow and possibly start a relationship in a more easy going way. As to him joining the Air Force, there are many MANY young ladies would love to date a man in uniform who serves our country. It will hurt if Lilly rejects him, but he has plenty of time to find someone who cares about him as much as he does. -Lots of Love, Alice