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Beautiful!
By Riverboat in Flotsam and Jetsam
November 18, 2007

The recent announcement of the retirement of VISD financial officer Marilyn Thomason reminded me of something I had written several years ago and never got around to submitting. I figured now is as good a time to share it.

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I always keep a bottle of hooch handy before I read anything about the school district in our newspaper. I get jittery, but lately I'm not sure if it's because of the news itself, or the effects on my liver. I’ve been in this district, and reading the Advocate, and drinking rather steadily for 23 years now.

Anyway, back to my point. Some of the comments from our administrators make me cringe, or furious or both. But sometimes I get lucky and read a comment that is laugh-out-loud hilarious. If you didn't read the Friday edition, today is your lucky day, because I'm going to write it out for you. If you haven't already used the paper to put the kitty poop you scooped out of the litter box (I call it "panning for gold" only it smells different), the article is on page 2A (“Victoria schools get rated as acceptable”).
 
Ready?
 
Halfway through the article, the paper reported, "After the master plan discussion, the board approved and accepted the VISD comprehensive annual financial report.
 
"Chief Financial Officer Marilyn Thomason described the report as BEAUTIFUL and . . . " The rest of the article became irrelevant. I wet my pants laughing, and had to go wash up afterward.
 
Babies are beautiful. So are sunrises and sunsets. I prefer the latter, but I'm not a morning person. Concertos by Mozart, tulips and roses, the Dutch Masters (paintings, not cigars), the Grand Canyon and Angel Falls, and the list goes on. But a financial report?
 
Well, we all have our pets and our perceptions of the world. When man maketh things of his own doing, it seems natural for him to step back to admire his handiwork like God after the Creation, and see that "It is Good." So why shouldn’t accountants, mathematicians and other number-crunchers become effusive over something like this? I might even say the same thing about this report after I finish it and read it in the Advocate.  
 
Still, the Devil is in the details, as they say, and I’m keeping this bottle handy because when I find out what’s actually IN that master plan, I have a feeling I’m going to need it. I’m getting jittery already.