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Jerry the Hairless Ewok
By Riverboat in Flotsam and Jetsam
January 14, 2008

Jerry Jones, Jerry Jones,
When the Cowboys lose he sits and moans.
That pipsqueak Jerry Jones.

 

Let's give credit where credit is due. The Cowboys lost only three games in regular season, which is testimony to the ability of the head coach. They made the playoffs for the first time in over ten years.

 

During his entire career as the owner of the Cowboys, Jerry "I'm so short I can tie my shoelaces without even bending over" Jones reverted to his habit of pretending he knows more about coaching than the head coach, chasing off the new guy, and WHAMBAM! sending the team back to the basement, giving the whole world irrefutable proof that he's a %*#  and a &@# as well as a &%**. (I cannot restrain myself myself when I talk about that runtified contemptible clown. He just begs for the opprobrium.)

 

Poor Jerry "My Head Is So Big It Shows Up On Radar As a Dirigible" Jones must have been frustrated. He stayed in his box seat, on top of the Dallas/Ft. Worth directories, long enough to let the game run its course, but we all know that Jerry "I'm Often Confused With Ross Perot" Jones was itching for a chance to interfere with the head coach.

 

Imagine my delight when the cameras caught his scowling mug that said, "Who am I going to fire first to slake my thirst for revenge! Who is going to be the first to feel the wrath of my self-righteous indignation! Who is that over there that DARES to wear the blue and silver colors for which I paid MILLIONS and keep a stable of lawyers to guard against copyright infringement! Why, it is my own HEAD COACH! He must have done this on purpose to slight me!"

Well, we'll all know by the end of this week. Dollars to donuts Jerry "Get Your Ears On, Good Buddy" Jones will fire SOMEONE. Maybe he'll even find a way to blame Jessica Simpson because the starting quarterback was too preoccupied with her.