Blogs » J.Q. Tomanek of Victoria » Ask for clarification


I thought we were about to have The Conversation in our house. About this time of the year, you would think that it would be “Does Santa really exist?” but that is not the question we thought we heard. You would think it would have sprouted from the mind of our oldest, but our middle child is the one that asked. The question was asked, then silence

And like a sentence without a period, the silence just drifted as the husband and wife caught each other’s eyes. Was this the question we have always heard about? Was this going to be the day that we sat down as a family and discussed this topic informed by our science and Faith? Was it going to be difficult, embarrassing, funny, cute, short, or understandable?

I asked again for her to repeat her question and the words just came out slowly, “W-h-y…d-o-n-‘t…y-o-u…a-n-d…m-o-m…h-a-v-e…s-e-x?” And time stopped. My wife and I stopped whatever we were doing in the kitchen and all the other racket was drowned in silence as we contemplated our next words.

To my surprise, my next words were easy. For a second and third time, I repeated, “What was that honey?” And for a second and third time, I was asked, “Why don’t you and mom have sex?” Of course I was not going to tell her that it was just an hour earlier when I was thinking the same thing…back on topic.

So, we asked her to explain what she meant. “Princess, what do you mean?” As her words formed what she was asking, it became apparent that we just escaped The Conversation. She was really asking, “Why don’t you and mom have sacks?”

As about as fast as a machine gun can fire, both of us responded, “Those are Christmas stockings, not sacks."

"Babe, can you open a bottle of wine please.”