KitanaAsh.

I have been punish a lot for fighting back. Back then as well as now, I viewed it as a honor to be punish (I.S.S) for fighting back. The reaction the bully got from me is a lot more harsher then they expect. They no longer bother me, even if I lose. I’m just giving you my personal experiences.

Well, first off...the article did not say anything about the girl (Penny) being bullied at Hopkins, only at Shields. Secondly, as mentioned before, principals, teachers, school staff can not discuss the punishment given to the child with anyone but the parent of that child.

VAB...in your original you said he should have gotten more than 2 days ISS. Then later you added that he returned to class and continued with the same type of behavior. Do you know that the school is limited on how many days a child can be assigned to ISS? That our (VISD) DAEP is already full and has a waiting list most of the time. Yes, the district needs to do something but it needs to be approached rationally (as someone else said). You do not sound like the type of parent who comes up to school ranting and raving about every single little thing but believe me they are out there. Parents who will not hesitate to come up to the school screaming and cussing and teachers and principals because they believe every single word their little angel says. Then once they here the other side of the story they will occasionally apologize. It is those parents who give so many others a bad name. Them and the ones who say..."by god if someone hits you, you hit them back". Doesn't solve a problem in the world. You just end up with 2 black and blue (possibly bleeding kids).

Let kids try to handle what they can, when they can't handle it then adults HAVE to step up.

@VAB It figured he wouldn't learn his lesson. Have you taken this situation to the higher-ups yet? This needs to be taken care of. And the parents of the boy need to be contacted and told what it is that the boy is doing. It's possible that they have no idea. I think you should do what Pennylane's Mom did if this continues,and try and move her to another school,or maybe just to a diffrent class under a better teacher. If the teacher hasn't contacted you yet,it's obvious he/she just isn't giving a damn.

You know,it's things like this,that really make me consider homeschooling for my future children....

And to all those dads who think moms are just overreacting here: do you allow your boys to hit girls? If my son hit a girl I would want to know! You would be doing me a favor, VAB, if you reported my child for abuse. I would rather my child get busted while the stakes are low than have him go through life unchecked until he ends up in jail...

Vab, it is so good for a child to have an adult show that they care enough to DO something. It builds trust and it is a good example of how to handle abuse. When she is an adult and a male stabs her or punches her that male will go to jail! It is sad that children aren't always as protected! She shouldn't be silent and just take the abuse when she is an adult so why should she now??? It's a life lesson here!

Well I don't care what anyone says, as a mother, I am suppose to do everything that is in my control to protect my children. I know I cant be with them 24/7 and I also know that they have to solve some problems on their own, but when it comes to bullying, I will never just "let it go" and stand back and wait until the situation escalades. The boy that stabbed my daughter with a plastic fork did not learn his lesson with ISS as a punishment. He went back a few days later and punched her in that same arm and then threatend to get back at her for snitching on him. Now, do you think I should just let it go and look the other way??? I don't think so!!! If this boy was perhaps teasing her or calling her names, then I would not take it this far, but he physically harmed her TWICE and my duty as a mother is to intervene before he decides to harm her more seriously. This is the first time out of the school year that I have been up to the school to discuss an issue and this is the first time in my daughters school life that she has been bullied in such manner. People are so ready to judge a person, just by one story. I am aware that there will always be some type of conflict for my kids throughout their life, but when it comes to their safety, that is when I step in. My daughter should not have to be afraid or worried about going to school!!! SO I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THE BULLYING STOPS FOR HER!!!

@Writein As much as I agree with your fighting back technique,it doesn't always work well. With the way I've experienced it,the one that usually winds up getting in more trouble for just fighting back,is the one trying to fight back and make it stop,rather than the one causing all the actual pain. The teachers will tell you,to just ignore them,because the fighting back reaction,is what they're waiting for. The bullies want a reaction from you,that's what I have discovered. In one of my 7th grade classes,this boy,who always had something to say about me,while we were rhyming our names to memorize them,he was making rude comments. The teacher,did nothing,and neither did I. I ignored him,and smiled...and that is all what it took for him to finally back off from me,because he knew the game was over. He had lost,and I had won. Sometimes fighting back,isn't always the answer,it's just staying quiet,and happilly ignoring that person...

@N45BA "I personally think this is a better method than having parents come running to the rescue every time anything looks like it might make their precious baby sad or uncomfortable." Okay...so when the child needs a shoulder to cry on,we just turn the other cheek? I mean,I can understand if the child is crying over something like candy or if they didn't get thier way. But if it's because someone is bullying them,that's a whole 'nother story! Crying alone because you're hurting,at an age like that,is the WORST feeling EVER. I would know because I've had to do that MANY times in my childhood. And,I will admit,has left me screwed up royally. EVERYTHING a child deals with in a certain time,how they handle it,and how thier parents handle it,molds them to who they become later in life.

Bullying is in the eye of the bullied and supporters both literally and figuratively. Try smiling when you have someone saying bad things to or about you. Inside your heart you know that what the bully is saying is not about you at all. It is about him/her. "I'm rubber and you are glue. What you say about me bounces off me and sticks to you." Don't say that outloud but know it inside your head and start thinking of how the person saying bad things is telling you about himself/herself. Example: When a bully says, "You are a fat stupid idiot." you hear him saying, "I am a shallow person with a poor vocabulary whose deepest thoughts are about my appearance and how smart I appear to others. Bassically he/she is telling you what he/she values. Feel sorry for him and hope that he is educated out of his insecurities. Know inside that you are do NOT resemble his words. You are a unique person who will change everyday of your life and grow to be greater than you can foresee today. KInowledge is power. Keep learning.

N, I bet if you were to write your own blog and share your own experiences as to why you believe the way you do on this topic we might all agree with you in the context you set up. But to tell anyone who shares their memories or shares an actual example of violence against their child that they are bad parents because they "...come running to the rescue every time anything looks like it might make their precious baby sad or uncomfortable," buries your point and makes you seem either abusive or insensitive in this context. I bet if you set up the proper context it would be easier to understand your point. =D

n45ba. you really have no life. i was reviewing all your comment history and noticed that it does not madder what the topic is of the day. if it says black you will argue white. if it says up you will rant and rave DOWN. you have no real clue about what is really going on in the victoria area. you just have nothing better to do than to run your mouth.

There are laws to protect ADULTS from violence, stalking, and harassment. Do we tell adults to hit back? I agree that hitting back or becoming the aggressor would stop the bullies and maybe THAT is how some bullies are made...

"The reason why bullying is a BIG issue and that people are committing suicide over it because we as a society have become wussies."

"We allow the Dr. Phil's, and Jane Valzez's and the Soccer mom's of the world to tell us not to FIGHT BACK. A bully will not be a bully, if the would be victim FIGHTS BACK."

Excatly. Zero tolerance....if someone hits you, you can't hit them back. Bull.

We don't keep scores in our games because we don't want any child to feel like a loser. Bull.

In our current touchy feely world way too many kids don't know how to defend themselves, much less "when" to do so. Shame that because outside of their suburban, soccer mom, don't keep score in games, zero tolerance world lies a much different place.

Society has made it so a kid is scared to defend her or himself because they'll be kicked out of school or even arrested. If you want to fix this, bring back the trips to the office and 3 licks with a wooden paddle and allow those who are bullied to defend themselves. Oh...that's right most don't know how...Dads and Moms...teach your children well.

The reason why bullying is a BIG issue and that people are committing suicide over it because we as a society have become wussies.

We allow the Dr. Phil's, and Jane Valzez's and the Soccer mom's of the world to tell us not to FIGHT BACK. A bully will not be a bully, if the would be victim FIGHTS BACK.

This reminds of the message women reveice in the 1970's that they should not fight back against a rapist. If you do not fight back, you are considered not a person by the bully.

I taught my family member to defend oneself and FIGHT BACK.

@N45BA People are allowed to bitch and complain about all they want,everytime they wake up. What they choose to complain about,is thier business. Maybe there are some people like the ones that you describe. I,however,am not one of them. I simply wanted to put my opinion about the situation here,because it has also struck home for me. Yes,bullying will probably never be put to an end,because people are difficult to control in general. But then where's discipline? When does it come to the point where we tell these children that it's wrong? Do we just constantly let it go,and just let it get worse and let our world wring chaos? I think the girl that got stabbed,should've gotten more justice. And whatever happened to parent-teacher confrences anyways? When I was younger,they still had those. And I don't understand why VAB isn't recieving any notices from the teachers. If they want to make thier own jobs easier,then they need to communicate,or else it'll just make it worse in the end. It's all about things catching up to you in the end. By reading your comments,I'm led to ask,are you even a parent? Do you understand what these Moms and Dads that care for thier children so much,go through? I talked to my boss,who is a working mother of 3,about this topic. She said she's glad that her kids don't have to deal with bullying because they go to a good school. Bullying distracts concentration for education,and that's NOT what our future needs! And I don't think VAB is being a bad parent at all. She's being a wonderful one! Caring and being concerned about what happens to her daughter when she's not around. I would do the same thing! We leave our kids in the care of these people,who obviously don't care much for them. I was not only bullied by students,but by teachers as well. For no reason,whatsoever. Just so they could get a good laugh as I cried. I support VAB for doing all she does to get this straightened out! Like the article had said,that alot of kids that are bullied,have trouble in school,and some commit suicide,or come close? Those who are bullys,commit crimes. Do you think it's really okay for this classmate,the one who attacked VAB's daughter to go prancing around,saying he's in a gang at such a young age!? I'm sure he won't even make it to high school if it's not taken care of. I'm sorry,but in my honest opinion,it's people like you that would probably make bad parents. With the kids I see during the weekends at work,screaming and holloring,running around throwing shoes,stealing candy and the parents do NOTHING. So they continue to think it's okay. Well that is NOT and neither is bullying,which inlcudes scratching or stabbing with a plastic fork.

As far as I'm concerned,the kid that stabbed VAB's daughter,should be forced to eat with nothing but his hands until he learns how to properly use his utensiels! Plus put in a spot away from everyone else in the cafeteria until he learns his lesson!

You make me laugh. You are entitled to your opinions as so am I. I never said I was going to be disrespecting anyone and especially go in there shouting or yelling. I am very well respected and praised for being a dedicated parent. You can rant on and on all you want. I was just making a point about bullying in schools. My story is not a personal matter and I have every right to speak of it if I want because it concerns my daughter. Besides, I did not say what school this incident occurred nor did I mention anyone's names. I myself work at a educational facility and trust me, everyone there agrees with me. One of my co-workers who was once a teacher, a principal and a superintendent even feels that I am in the right. So keep on with your comments. By the way, I can bless you all I want because that's what loving God is all about. :)

That is sad to hear Rebecca! :( Well my daughter may have been stabbed with a "PLASTIC" fork, but this is elementary. My concern is if this classmate is doing this in 4th grade, what will he be doing in high school?

VAB, the year after I graduated from high school a girl was stabbed in the cafeteria but not with a PLASTIC utensil. She didn't make it. D=

FIRST OF ALL, MY DAUGHTER WAS THE ONE THAT FELT THE PAIN, NOT YOU N45BA!!! SHE WAS THE ONE BULLIED, NOT YOU. IT COULD HAVE BEEN MUCH WORSE. SECOND OF ALL, I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT WAS THE OTHER STUDENT'S PUNISHMENT BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER WAS ASSUALTED. REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU VIEW IT, PUNISHEMNT FOR THIS INCIDENT SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. IT WAS A FORK THIS TIME, WHO'S TO SAY THIS STUDENT WON'T ATTEMPT TO BRING A GUN NEXT TIME. IT IS PURE IGNORANCE TO THINK I NEED TO "JUST LET IT GO". IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT CAUSE SITUATIONS LIKE THIS TO CONTINUE BECAUSE TAKING INCIDENTS SUCH AS WHAT OCCURRED WITH MY DAUGHTER LIGHTLY LEADS TO MORE SERIOUS CRIMES THAT A BULLY WILL COMMITT JUST BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY CAN GET AWAY WITH IT. JUST SO YOU KNOW, THIS STUDENT HAS BEEN A TROUBLED CHILD IN CLASS AND CLAIMS TO BE IN A GANG AND IS ALWAYS GOING AROUND BULLYING KIDS. (I JUST FOUND THIS OUT). THIS STUDENT DISRESPECTS TEACHERS AND IS ALWAYS GETTING SENT TO THE OFFICE. SO, YOU TELL ME, HOW DO YOU SEE THIS KID'S FUTURE IF THERE IS NO INTERVENTION??? I CARE ABOUT ALL KIDS AND I DONT WANT TO BRING THIS CLASSMATE DOWN, I ONLY WANT THIS STUDENT TO GET THE HELP NEEDED TO HAVE A GOOD FUTURE. WE HAVE JESUS IN OUR LIFE, SO MY CHILDREN UNDERSTAND WHAT IT IS TO HELP OTHERS. WHEN I WROTE "THE FIGHT IS ON", I WAS NOT REFERRING TO VIOLENCE, I MEANT MY LONG DISCUSSION WITH SCHOOL ADMINISTRATORS ABOUT NOT BETTER INFORMING ME OF THE INCIDENT. BAD PARENTING IS ALLOWING YOUR CHILDREN TO THINK IT IS OK TO BE IN A GANG, TO DISRESPECT YOUR ELDERS, TO THINK EDUCATION IS NOT IMPORTANT, AND TO NOT TEACH THEM THAT JESUS IS THE WAY. MY DAUGHTER IS A HONOR ROLL STUDENT, HAS BEEN IN GT CLASSES FOR 4 YEARS, LOVES TO PRAISE GOD, LOVES TO HELP OTHERS, UNDERSTANDS THE IMPORTANCE OF EDUCATION, AND RESPECTS EVERYONE. IF THAT ISN'T BEING A GOOD PARENT, THEN WHAT IS??? BLESS YOU N45BA. :-)

I just want to make one thing clear, not all teachers, principals, school officials, and schools are bad. VISD does have many caring and dedicated faculty and staff that work very hard

GOOD POINT EDITHANN...I WILL TAKE YOUR ADVICE! I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE PATIENT AND GIVE THEM A CHANCE, BUT A PARENT'S GOTTA DO WHAT A PARENT'S GOTTA DO!!!

Why are you bothering with the schools over and over when you get no response?

CALL YOUR SCHOOL BOARD REP AS WELL AS THE OTHERS, TOO.

They have a duty to represent you and if they hear enough from their constituents, they may get more proactive. They wanted the job of representing you, so let them do it. The School Board oversees the VISD administration, not the other way around.

I believe as a parent and a taxpayer, I have every right to complain when I see something wrong with the school system, especially when it concerns my children's safety. First I hear there aren't enough parents involved, now I'm hearing parents who are involved complain too much. Some parents may be too picky and overly complain about non-sense, but bullying is a BIG DEAL and should be handled as "zero tolerance", always with no exceptions.

I am a parent that is known on a first name basis at my child's school because I do take my concerns to her teacher, principal, and counselor. I am one who lays out my expectations on the first day of school. I even send out e-mails frequently and I still do not get the response I ask for and that I am entitled to as a parent. We send our children to school everday with the understanding that they are safe at school because we believe that the teachers and staff will take care of them like one of their own, but as I have witnessed, that is not how it is. Last Thursday, I got a call from the school nurse telling me that my daughter had been stabbed in the arm with a plastic fork by another classmate. Fortunately it was just a little scratch and some light bruising, but the thought of how bad it could have been boggles my mind. I e-mailed her teacher requesting an explanation and to find out what was the other students punishment and to this day have not gotten a response. I am appauld that the principal or assist. principal did not call me to discuss the incident. The nurse only had limited information and was there only to treat her, anyhow, it was not her place to discuss the incident with me as it shoud have been the school administraters or her teacher. In the end this student's only punishement is 2 days of ISS. I am at the moment waiting to hear back from them and believe you me a fight is on because as some of you said, the only way this will change is if we have a voice and speak out about bullying and show the schools that no action or weak action is unacceptable. School officials want parents to get involved with their children, well how about them getting involved with their students and put in an effort to provide a safe environment for them?

There has to be something done to stop this! I hope Teachers and School Administration are reading the articles. I have a third grade granddaughter who is having problems with this and it's almost the end of the school year and still going on. I know kids will be kids, but if some of us parents can teach our kids not to say ugly words that hurt children. Why can't all parents sit down and talk to their kids about all this!

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I am sure the ones who need to hear these experiences that others have gone through helps them to cope a little better. To have a common ground with another really can make a HUGE difference in ones life as well as ones perception of life.

Bullies are a disgrace to man kind. What a SAD life for THEM! To waste this God given life on hurting others and feeling good about it.

Please try not to take it so personally. I am sure that is easier said than done, but it's THEM with the PROBLEM not YOU. Always remember that. God Bless.

Some of the teachers aren't any better. I've had 2 of my kids laughed at by a couple of teachers because they didn't understand how to work a problem and one went as far as to call my son stupid because he "should know this already. It's junior high work." I would think a little refresher would have been a bit more helpful.

I think its pretty sad how the bullying is out of hand in this world but what is even sadder, is that in some instances, the person of authority to stop it sides with the teacher who allows it to protect them. This has been going on here in Victoria with one teacher for years. I know of one girl whom I stopped a suicide attempt because of hazing in an extracurricular activity and the sponsor nor administrators would do a darn thing about it. It still goes on today and two new schools wont fix it.