Verbal and Emotional Abuse are a kind of battering which does NOT leave evidence comparable to the bruising of Physical Abuse. It can be just as painful and recovery can take just as long. The victim of abuse lives in a gradually more confusing realm of life. In public she is with one man, in private he becomes another. Subtle diminishing or angry out-bursts; cool indifferent or one up-manship, witty sarcasm or silent withholding, manipulative coercion or unreasonable demands are common occurrences. They are, however cloaked in a “what’s wrong with you, making a big deal out of nothing,” attitude, and many other forms of denial. Often, for the verbally and emotionally abused mate, there is no other witness to her reality and no one who can understand her experience. Friends and family may see the abuser as “a really great person” and, certainly, they see themselves that way…

The underlining issue to such madness is that the Verbal and Emotional Abuser has “issues” of control. If you have been abused in this way, you have been told in subtle and not-so subtle ways that your perception of reality is WRONG and that your feelings are wrong.

I have a suggestion for you though, if you love your mate and want to have a happy relationship with him or her, is it possible You change, Your ways? Your nature, instead of becoming as solid as a rock who's about to break and gradually gives to insults, complaining, and angry outburst, should be looked at and considered. I suggest that when you recognize what you are encountering, you respond to what you are recognizing differently, in a specific way. By doing so, you may encounter your fear of “loss of love.” But by not doing so, you may encounter your fear of “loss of self!”
The underlining issue of Verbal and Emotional Abuse is an issue of control. It is a means of holding power over the other, both involved, are to blame...

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