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Men, Women, and responsibility
By Ringer in Knowledge is power- if you use it- keep it to yourself and it's worthless.
August 20, 2009 |
Getting men to fully own a piece of the domestic agenda around the house may be marriage's last frontier. Wives generally get appointed this position when they take their wedding vows and the job grows in size after having kids. Duties include everything from resolving the daily dilemma of what's for dinner and keeping a mental tab on which kid needs new shoes. And, most women decide which plumber to call on Saturday after the toilet has over-flowed and where the belongings of every single family member hide themselves at the end of the day. Oh, and the clincher - acting as the social director for every occasion, including get-togethers with "his" family.
Women may complain about the hoops we jump through everyday but most of us get something in return. That something...power! Since I'm the spouse who's home on a constant basis, I pay all the bills and manage the taxes even though my husbands actually better with money than I am. I used to gripe about the set-up but at some point it dawn on me that this works in my favor. If my husband kept the books I'd be on a much tighter leash. As it stands, I don't have to account for every dime I spend as long as the bills get paid and there's always money in the bank.
But the power and control that come with the role of domestic decider are precisely why it's so hard to break free. Although, we say we want men to take a little responsibility for such things, we often find fault when they do. Most men feel when they try to help out around the house they can't win. And, when they do what's been asked of them they receive criticism and chaos in return. Maybe it's true, what most women really want isn't so much a husband to take over all the domestic work around the house, but one who's better at following their orders...
Bite your tongue ladies, if you have nothing helpful to say, do the seemingly impossible and keep quiet. If you can't resist, throw in your two cents, but be prepared to take back the job you requested your husband help you with!
© 2009 Ringer: All rights reserved No reproduction without prior written permission
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17 Comments
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Comments
catahula said-
"One secret is to write an article in word."
@catahula
OpenOffice is a nice alternative, and free to use/reproduce/alter/distribute.
August 22, 2009 at 6:04 p.m.Cat- I don't know if i'd rather hit you or hug you but I know this...you seem honest and helpful and I like that. Please know, I'm going to take your advice and apply it to the best of my ability. I won't promise to change my "style" of writing, that's who I am and I believe in what I write, but I will work on appling your other suggestions and see if they don't make a difference.
August 22, 2009 at 4:16 p.m.Again, thanks for taking the time to give me some great advice. I can see where your hearts at and I know you mean well. thank you.
???? There is not a larger font in the blog that I can see, I liked the blog.
Ringer expressed a opinion, articulated it well (IMO) and even used a touch of humor.
August 22, 2009 at 4:07 p.m.John- you always have something to say that makes me smile- thanks buddy:)
I'm LUVVVVVVVVVVVn ur "TUDE"!
August 22, 2009 at 9:01 a.m.I find you interesting Ringer. While, many others have peaked my interest, I have applied that statement to none.
I hope to see more of your commentary; I think it has value beyond even your intentions. The reactions you get from others alone on this posting, have intrigued me further than most. It is really fun.
Different people are going to preceive different things, even among writers. There is no one set way, and there will never be; regardless of how hard others try to make it so. Human beings can not be forced to think and interpret the same way over long stretches of time.
Have a nice day.
August 21, 2009 at 2:31 p.m.I do not write from a personal perspective. As a matter of fact- I write because it challenges "me" to think differently than what I've been "raised to believe" or is happening in my own life. "I" enjoy writing opposite the majority's viewpoint, simply because it shows another perspective, one most, never consider.
My intent to post here is to leave a message to help others. I do not have a degree in communications of any kind. And, most of the time, I write about "subjects" that entertain "me"!
Before you take a minute to critize others Catahula- "we all have differnt opinions and beliefs and had you read another of my blogs before reading this one- you would better understand my style of writing and know in your heart I am not here to be critical of others..." I do appreciate your "input" and hope you'll continue to keep reading from this blog.
August 21, 2009 at 11:08 a.m.A lot of this depends on the certain household's situation. Do both work, what type of jobs, does one work many hours and days and harder work more than the other, etc.
Shared around the house work. Yes, if the situation fits.
Your situation, you are correct.
August 21, 2009 at 9:52 a.m.On another note... I end all my post with a "LARGE" font message, one I feel is important. It's just my style of writing and not meant to be any type of rant!
August 20, 2009 at 8:23 p.m....catahula, you have written from another perspective that I can't argue with. I respect your imput and admire anyone who has been married thirty years so I'll leave it at that.
August 20, 2009 at 8:13 p.m.I finally got hubby to undertake some house work & he does a great job, which I point out often! He even does my laundry & hangs all my shirts to dry (the dryer "shrinks" my clothes). I take care of finances & such, I cook, he cleans kitchen....it works out great!
August 20, 2009 at 6:59 p.m.LoL!
The necessities, for a particular "quality of life", determine responsibilities. Failure to meet these responsibilities adequately, results in diminished quality of life.
Who does what, changes from human to human; and social structure to social structure, but one thing remains the same. Sane people will either preform essential task, or influence someone too. Insane people will accept diminished quality of life; either because their survival instinct is not triggered or does not exist adequately to initiate a proper response.
I like this posting, its fun.
Have a nice sane day everybody!
I've been watching simpsons too much, that quack doctor cracks me up with his "Hi everybody".
August 20, 2009 at 6:50 p.m.As a man, I think you are exactly right Ringer.
I heard it left and right one time when I did the laundry washing, yes I separated and washed in the right temperature, the problem was the broom stick skirt.
"You dried IT!!!!!!!!!,Please just don't do my laundry again" My response?
What's the big deal? She started to explain, I promptly retrieved the skirt, soaked it in water, wringed it and twisted it up.
Well guess what? The next day when it dried it was absolutely as good it would have been anyway......... and all I got in return was a HMMMPH, no it worked, no thank you, no nothing.
And no admitting that I did not ruin the broomstick skirt. :P (the tongue sticking icon) LOL
August 20, 2009 at 6:44 p.m.OMG the scrutiny around this place. Isin't it ironic... just what I wrote about and explained concerning men and women- your guilty of cat...
even so- I appriciate your opinion!
August 20, 2009 at 5:58 p.m.