Blogs » Learning in Freedom » The "D" Word (silliness)


It is a bad word because it has suffered so much abuse. Yesterday I tried to start one. I've been starting a diet since eighth grade. I have never finished one.

I hate the word “diet” because it brings to (my) mind memories of 80s diet fads. You see, in the summer between my 7th and 8th grade years, Duran Duran was popular and I gained about thirty pounds. Not that those two events are related in any way or anywhere except in my mind, but now you understand why I think of the 80s when I think of dieting.

One fad I remember was the Dolly Parton diet. Remember that diet? If I remember correctly, the first few days you eat nothing but bananas and drink nothing but skim milk. I forget what limitations you had to endure the next few days, but it culminated with a fat burning soup that had zero calories. You could eat as much of that cabbage soup as you wanted, until it triggered the gag reflex.

Weight Watchers… starving myself… Nothing worked until one summer in high school when we got MTV. I consumed nothing but chocolate milk and did nothing but watch Poison, Motley Crue, and Lita Ford on the television. I made a "mix" (VHS) tape with all my favorite videos. I don't know why the distraction was bad for my appetite. Maybe it took a few years for me to feel confident with my new boobies and hips. Going from little girl body to woman body was probably one of the most traumatic events of my life.
Remember these TAPES?

Remember when no one really cared about pirating music?

Anyway, I suffered for twelve hours yesterday trying to maintain a diet. I had a banana for breakfast; I only ate the salad at Niki’s Roma Pizza for lunch; and I turned down birthday cake for dessert. I feel like a terrible friend for having will power to say "no" to birthday cake, but then giving it all up for dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. Who can say "no" to fried chicken dipped in syrup and then dipped in Ranch?

I tried to verify my 80s diet memory and found a recipe for Dolly Parton Diet Soup. I am wondering if two 80s diet fads are fused in my memory? The hydrogen peroxide and perm kits killed some brain cells. Oh! Let's not forget how many years I inhaled hairspray on a daily basis.

I'm so glad the 80s are behind me.

Anyway, that's enough silly rambling for this morning. I have to leave the teacher's lounge now. I have a daughter who told me that, as a homeschooler, she feels that she should be a grade ahead. We have to plan out SUMMER SCHOOL!

At one time the word "summer school" had negative connotations...