Settling out west
By StephenHerzog in Midwest point of view
March 12, 2010
SH: Please compare the following:
#1.Instead of, "I moved around a lot as a kid. I went to four elementary schools, and I lived in 13 houses before I turned 16." see how this sounds to you,"Because we moved around a lot my report cards came from four elementary schools and we lived in 13 houses before my sixteenth birthday.

#2. Compare, "Still, it was all in Missouri and Illinois, so while I had a lot of different experiences, they all occured in the midwest." with, "My different experiences occurred in the midwestern states of Illinois and Missouri."

#3. And, "I just began as the sports editor at the Advocate earlier this week, and I've now been living in Texas for just two weeks." "My exciting first two weeks here included starting as the sport editor at the Advocate."

#4. Now, "I'm planning on giving my perspective on things in this neck of the woods - mostly on sports, but sometimes I'll branch out. I'm looking forward to getting to know what it's like to live in what I've heard referred to as "God's country."
How does this sound? "Getting to know what it's like to live in "God's country" should give me a perspective on things in this neck of the woods for keyboard fodder besides just sports."
GOOD LUCK and WELCOME TO SOUTH TEXAS. RUSTY

DEAR SH: WELCOME ABOARD. An old ink slinger would like to start out picking on you right away. What word could you've used fewer times in this piece? How could you've rephrased your opening paragraph without using that word even once?

what word did you