Blogs » Musings On Muses » At Some Point IN Our Lives We All Lose


At some point in our lives we all lose. We all end up having something we hold near and dear to us gouged out of our lives suddenly and inexorably forever. Artists are in the unique position to share that pain in a flamboyant way. We tend to put our hearts on our sleeves. Never mind the ridicule or embarrassment we stand to become the targets of. When we lose, we often times take it much harder than those without our humbling gifts of creation. Look at the tortured yet genius canvases of Van Gogh. He lost his sanity and no one could help him find it. So, he went looking for it in the countryside with an easel. He found his peace at the end of a barrel. Listen to the sadness of the strings in “Adagio”. The Victoria Symphony did that arrangement for strings after 9-11. Their rendition moved me as it was the most fitting piece of music I could identify my sadness with. To have things you love in your life is much like catching the perfect wave on a good surfboard. But, as the saying goes, all good things come to an end. The wave crashes onto shore and we must relinquish it back to the sea. We are left with memories that will haunt us to the day we die. Good or bad we can always replay those memories in our mind and feel those feeling once again. No matter how much it hurts and no matter how much we might try to promise ourselves we’ll forget about it, we will push replay whenever the moment is right. That will usually be when we see someone doing something we once did. We tie our heart-strings in a knot to keep the tears at bay. They just fill us up on the inside anyway and the movie inside runs again. The cellophane inside will never blur, burn, or break. I went into this wanting to divulge to you something I had to go thru in the past. I think in all my composing of music thus far I have allowed on muse in particular to keep working me, so to speak, for way too long. Many years ago I let go as best I could. The feelings lingered on along with the pain and I let myself suffer. I got it out of my system long ago but doing so, as well as “going thru it”, left me with an ever-present drive to particular songs. There are many ways to tell the tale and I want to tell it from every angle. In the end, I don’t much care if that muse ever hears one note of all that has been elicited from me on their account. I’ll leave you this time with the first line from the first song this unnamed muse was the antagonist for. “If I never see you again, it will be too soon.”