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It Was Probably A Dark And Quiet Night
By joseexist in Musings On Muses
April 27, 2010

It was probably a dark and quiet night when you slipped into my garage. I was either asleep or at work. My two angels and our dog were surely asleep and you did not disturb them. My garage became your candy store and you took what you wanted. I didn’t even notice until the yardman asked me where my push mower and weed-eater were. I can only hope you put them to good use. I did find it rather odd that you left all the gas cans behind. That alone says a lot to me. I fancy you as an addict of some ‘substance’. Most probably you are addicted to crack or some other form of cocaine. I hope you got your next ‘hit’ to your satisfaction. I hope you get the perfect fix some day.

What you have done is nothing new. There have been several rashes of the same crimes over the years in our city and your actions mark the second weed-whacker I’ve lost. Most of my neighbors seem to know who you are or at least have properly focused suspicions. The very understanding police officer I talked to sadly stated that his mother, who lives in my neighborhood, has also had problems with thieves as well.

Some day you may reform, or somebody will repair your social dysfunction for you. As I work very unpredictable hours you are very lucky I was not headed to or from work. You are a social blight that I fancy fixing with a bullet. For a human being as low as you though, I think a blade will do just fine.

I’m sure you smiled from ear to ear after your foray into my comfort zone. You could taste the fruits of your ‘labor’. You probably ‘high-fived’ yourself as you slipped back beneath the rock that birthed you. As for me, I did not laugh. I did not cry. I merely kissed a little over three hundred bucks goodbye. I did however smile comfortably and with a good amount of wry. You could not have known that the guy that does my yard work was working on both of the items you stole. The weed-eater had not run in six months or more and the mower was broken for a little over a year. I’m sure that put a good dent in your high. I’m also feel sure and secure that it left you steaming under a big pile of dismay.

(With haughty sarcasm: Ha! Ha! Ha!)

“Try it again. I dare you” Your victim,

Jose’ Diaz