Fear of losing a thing can have a very profound effect on how you regard it. Taking something for granted can evaporate as soon as fear inspires a scenario to play thru your mind. Whether it comes from a dream in the night, a sudden reflective moment, an errant thought, or a serious contemplation, fear wants to be entertained. We battle it every day on some level. Without it we would be less human.
When my alarm went off this morning I have no idea what I might have been dreaming. It was one of those episodes that failed to leave much in my lucid train of thoughts. Out of the fog a few lines of words formed and I toyed with them, mentally as I began my day. Later, I wrote a new lyric based those waking moments.
In retrospect, (mere moments in fact), there were hard questions that I must have been asking myself in that dream. The story the lyric tells is of a person in a post apocalyptic world. The love of their life is gone and the emptiness in their heart is a tragic pain that overshadows the situation. The story is told as if to the departed loved one.
What would I do without my main muse? If we all have to switch into survival mode, how will she fair? How can I protect her? I have no clear answers to any of these questions. Those are bridges I hope I never have to cross. The future grows cloudier each day.
There was a time when humans dreamed of a grand future. It felt like utopia was well within our reach. We were blinded by our vision and never saw the whole world. Now that there are few places we cannot get the news from in real-time, we see how complicated the planet really is. Various systems of belief jostle one another for control of ‘everything’. Each professes to be the ‘right’ way for humans to exist. Some spawn putrid splinters that seek to erase the very existence of everything that does not conform to a twisted vision of how all mankind should be.
We’d laid a good highway to the future we believed in. We got on the road and set the cruise control. With the windows down and the radio blasting we smiled at each other and trusted the road to get us there. Our sleek machine carried us well and fine upgrades piled on the velocity.
Somewhere ahead of us on that ribbon of tarmac, there was supposed to be a tunnel thru a mountain. When came upon it we could see the future gleaming from the far end. We had long ago forgotten who was supposed to have built the tunnel. We found out way too late who painted the scenery on the solid rock wall we plowed into.
Our transport to utopia shattered, we dusted off what was left of ourselves and went in search of the next section of road. There were many in the wilderness who claimed to know the way and they were eager to share their knowledge, for a price. We were told we could get there but not by our own beliefs. If we would but become believers in their ways, the future was just over the next hill. Some of us relented, some did not. These fellow humans, strange as they were, seemed to readily adopt our beliefs, that is, until we turned our back just a bit. Our trust got us many knives in our back. We slowly grew tired of being surprised.
We girded ourselves for a long arduous haul. True believers of all faiths became tentative companions along the way. Radical extremists became the enemy of all mankind. The only problem with the radicals was that they hid in plain sight. They blended in. We secretly entertained the thought of genocide but resolved resolutely not to repeat inhumanities of the past. We tied our fingers behind our backs one at a time.
And so we struggle ever forward towards a future we are not truly sure exists. We’ve found what was left of the road. Potholes and shattered grade have greeted us continually. Whole sections from horizon to horizon are gone. There are wash-outs along flat and straight expanses. Our feet hurt and we keep tripping on obstacles. We keep tripping on things in plain sight.
We can see no glow from the future but we keep faith that it is there waiting, in whatever state it has been reduced to. Deep in our hearts we know we can give it a respectable luster when we get there.
Who knows how many of us will get there? Make good memories of those around you every day. If you reach that grand future with those memories each and every one you share will be celebrated intensely.
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