Blogs » Pop Goes the Culture » What ever happened to a nice cup of joe?


Just what the world needed. Drunk yet wide awake teenagers.

Have you heard this one yet? The company that makes Rockstar has pulled their alcoholic version of the popular energy drink, Rockstar 21, off the shelves after both kids and parents mistook it for the nonalcoholic version.

According to, a bunch of California youth teamed up to get the drink off the shelves after incidences like this:

1. 12 middle school students were found drinking the alcoholic energy drink in plain sight at school. The students claimed they had no idea there was alcohol in the drink.

2. A mom bought her 13-year-old son what she thought was a cool, refreshing beverage, only to discover it contained alcohol right before her son drank it.

3. A young man was found stumbling down the street holding an alcoholic energy drink.

The Earthtimes article also stated that the drinks were sold side by side, didn't look that different, and most adults couldn't tell the difference in taste between the alcoholic and nonalcoholic versions.

Today's lesson, kids? You can thank those stupid California punks for ruining your one easy shot at getting drunk.

Of course I kid. Stop right there with your "Aprill is a horrible person" comments. I don't condone underage drinking (now that I am over the age of 21...ha!...kidding again).

Anyhoo, I think the thing that incidences like these teach us is that modern marketing is ingenious and yet potentially very dangerous. Get the kids hooked on energy drinks and then when they get old enough, give them the option of the energy drinks with alcohol (which are two substances that should not be together in any form...a stimulant plus alcohol equals drunks who just won't pass out then they are supposed's self-preservation, people).

Not to mention, if you've ever seen any sort of ad for Rockstar, there is no doubt who it is marketed for (and it ain't us). It's kids and teens. If that's who you are marketing to, leave the alcohol out of all products (did Camel Joe teach us nothing?).

And lastly, I think this also highlights the absurd influx we've seen of energy drinks. Did you guys know they make one specifically for little kids now called Kid Fuel? And then there is the Pimp Juice and Who's Your Daddy drinks for all the playas out there. There is Sparks energy drink for the college kids and even Gay Fuel for our gay and lesbian friends out there.

Enough is enough. It almost makes me long for the days when Starbucks was the bad guy.