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Coming out of the (broom) closet
By AprillBrandon in Pop Goes the Culture
October 22, 2007

He's finally come out of the closet, people. After all these years of "is he or isn't he?" the mystery is now solved.

He most certainly is.

And no, I'm not talking about Tom Cruise (although I'm still waiting for the inevitable announcement). I'm talking about Albus Dumbledore finally coming out of the (broom) closet.

Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling stunned fans last Friday when she announced that the beloved headmaster of Hogwarts was, in fact, gay. And while this has naturally stirred up controversy (like the hardcore Christians didn't have enough ammo against the Potter series with the witchcraft aspect), I'd like to point out that Dumbledore is only one in a long line of fictional children's characters with a sordid past.

I mean, let's be honest, did anyone really believe Bert and Ernie were "just roommates?" Or that Big Bird and Snugglewumpus...Sniffledumpling...Snicklefrists...oh, geesh, that mammoth looking creature on Sesame Street were just friends?

And what about Popeye's Olive Oil? I think we all know she was batting for the other team, if you catch my drift. And if Peppermint Patty is straight, I will eat my hat right here on this spot (that is, if I were actually wearing one).

And lest we not forget the scandal one Mr. Spongebob Squarepants caused when rumors were swirling a couple years ago that he was gay? Or that purse-toting Teletubbie Winky Twinky or whatever his name was.

Then there is Barney, a "grown-up" dinosaur having sleepovers with children? Michael Jackson complex much?

And you look me in the eye and tell me truthfully that you didn't notice when Bugs Bunny donned that lipstick and pantyhose, he was thoroughly enjoying every second of it.

I could go on and on. But the truth is, we should accept these characters for who they are, regardless of their preferences or orientations. Or, and here's an idea, it doesn't really matter because...um...they're fictional.

They are fictional characters, people. Technically, they don't even exist. So stop getting your knickers in a twist. Let's leave the "is he or isn't he" sexual orientation debate to those who deserve it (like Tom Cruise...who totally is...come on).