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I'm going to be a sexy chupacabra for Halloween
By AprillBrandon in Pop Goes the Culture
October 24, 2007

Sex has hijacked Halloween, folks. Allow me to present to the court exhibit A:

Wizard Wanda

Now don't get me wrong. I've been my fair share of sexy 1920s flapper and even...(gulp)...a Playboy Bunny from the 1950s (hey it was in college and if society is held responsible for all the things we did in college, no one would ever be eligible to run for president ever again).

But I think the whole "sexy costume" thing has gone overboard. I mean, come on. A sexy Hermione from Hogwarts? Or, allow me to present to the court exhibit B:

Sexy Halloween Costume - Hot Pizza Girl

A sexy pizza delivery girl? Really? I'm all for shedding inhibitions for one night of the year, but now they are just stretching it. I mean, what's next? A sexy homewrecker? Oh wait...Exhibit C, your honor.

Sexy Homewrecker Costume

As lipstick feminist as I think I am, there is a point where even I'm like "Wow, that one lone costume set women back approcimately 500 years." Plus, I think these costume companies are being a little too liberal with the word "sexy." Cleavage and a non-existant skirt does not a sexy image always make. If that was the case, then the epitome of sexy would be people like RuPaul and my former third grade teacher Mrs. Maloney (who was 50).

So, if it pleases the court, in conclusion, you are free to be "sexy" for Halloween but when there are five other "sexy" Rainbow Brites at the party and no one is noticing you, don't start whining. You made your choice. And don't you dare complain that you can't sit down because your woo-ha might make an unscheduled appearance. And don't you even think about going off on the dude staring continually at your chest. You put it out there, you deal with it.

Court dismissed.