And this time you can blame Miley bloody Cyrus (aka Hannah bloody Montana for my readers who have been living under a rock under the sea under a bigger rock in Siberia for the past three years).
I know, I know...I'm thinking the same thing you are. Why won't the 80's just DIE already? For years, the fashion from that era has been creeping back into our wardrobes, piece by piece. Just a legwarmer here, a legging over there, some neon belts making appearances at a couple Hollywood parties.
But it is time we take a stand, people. This time the 80's are trying to completely take over our closets and they're doing it by swooning tweens.
According to this Associated Press story, the third season of Disney's "Hannah Montana" will have Cyrus channeling Madonna circa 1985 (I know, I know...I'm thinking the same thing you are. Why won't Madonna just DIE already?).
We're talking fingerless gloves here, people. Tiered miniskirts. LEOPARD PRINT!
And considering I was once a 10-year-old girl who did everything in her power to emulate Punky Brewster, it's only a matter of time before young girls across the country are embracing 80's fashion. (Shudder)
And the poor things have no idea where the look came from so they will actually wear their...(sigh)...leopard print tights and hot pink miniskirt with pride.
And sadly, all of us who lived...nay, survived the 80's, will just have to look sadly on, unable to help. Unable to fully explain the horrors they will face two decades from now when they flip through their photo albums and realize just how ridiculous they looked.
And then even more sadly, as those former tweens are flipping through those photo albums, they will look up in shock and horror as their tweenage daughters walk through the kitchen...wearing mismatched neon socks and high top sneakers. Possibly even...(ragged breath)...a scrunchie.
Oh, will the cycle never end!?
...(Drops to knees and raises fist in the air)...
Darn you 80's!!! Why won't you let us live in peace?!? Go away! Never return!
But sadly, the 80's will always return. It is the curse of modern mankind. Now if you'll excuse, I'm going to take some Valium and try to stave off the nightmares of a gang of Members Only jackets hunting me down.
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