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Love, sex and salami sandwiches
By AprillBrandon in Pop Goes the Culture
February 8, 2008

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Having been dating my boyfriend for over two years now and being of the age where certain somebodies, (let just call them "Mom" for our purposes here) are just itching to have grandbabies, I have heard my fair share of the Mom speech (oops, I mean "somebody" speech). It pretty much goes something to the tune of this:

"So, how are you and your boyfriend? Anything new to report? Anything new, shiny and fastened to your left hand kind of report to report?"

To which when I say "No, nothing to report here. We're just fine." is quickly followed by "But what am I supposed to do with this onesies I just bought?"

And thus is the brilliance of Theatre Victoria's latest production of the musical comedy "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change." It is a hilarious two-hour journey into the heart of the dating and relationship jungle. And it hits close to home for anyone who has ever dared to say, "Yes, I'd love to get a cup of coffee with you."

I went to the opening Friday night, boyfriend in tow (a.k.a. my non-grandbaby producing partner in crime). And I was hooked from the moment when, while on an exceedingly bad first date scene, the man turns to the woman and tells her she has "nacho schmootz" on her chin.

The show follows its four cast members (all playing numerous characters throughout the show) from those hideous days of bad first dates and online dating to marriage, kids, divorce and what happens after a spouse dies.

I'm ashamed to admit I wasn't sure what to expect at first. Sadly, this was my first time seeing a Theatre Victoria production that wasn't just a dress rehearsal I crashed to do an article on. I've been to almost every art event in Victoria but somehow never managed to make it to the theater for one of their productions.

And I can honestly say I won't make that mistake again. The talent of the cast blew me away. I'm telling you, I could just eat up Michael Teer and Brett Jones with a spoon, Jennifer Young has a voice that will give you chills (the good kind) and Julie Maples does an impression of a Jewish grandmother that's like buttah.

Just a few highlights from the show:

The song "Tear Jerk," which explores that age-old theme of a dude being forced to watch a chick flick.

The scene in which a husband and a wife, along with their two kids, take a road trip. Suffice it to say, you will cringe, not because it's badly acted or sung, but because it hits too bloody close to home (let's just say it brought back some trips to grandma's house I was desperately suppressing).

The "Marriage Tango" in which a married couple actually attempt to have sex despite little Johnny and Susie doing crazy kid stuff like letting the family reptile escape.

 The show has its heavier moments also, like the heart-wrenching scene "The Very First Dating Video of Rose Ritz" which goes into what happens after 15 years of marriage, a couple of kids and then BAM! a divorce.

But just like love itself, it's unpredictable that way. All in all, I thought it was a wonderful show and I highly recommend it. Trust me, you will see yourself in it, and will most likely catch yourself giving sly looks to your significant other during more than one song as you wonder "how did they know?"

Although leave the kids at home for this one, huh. Along with the adult themes throughout the show, let them remain innocent about what's in store for just a little bit longer.

 The show runs through Feb. 16. For more information or to purchase tickets, go here.