Blogs » Pop Goes the Culture » High heels for babies? Seriously?



Well, now that all the hoopla surrounding the wed/unwed parent debate has subsided a bit, I thought I'd write a blog on much lighter topic dealing with little rugrats. And by lighter, I mean slightly creepy.

It seems two American inventors have come up with the next wave of products for your little prosti-tot: High heeled stilettos for babies.

Oh, yes, I am not kidding. According to a story in the Telegraph, the shoes are called Heelarius and are intended for babies up to six months.

Now, of course, the inventors say they are only intended for show and that any pressure put on them will cause them to collapse. They added that it's just supposed to be something funny but being that this is America, of course many nay-sayers have come out of the woodwork to say its the worse invention since Shaken Baby Syndrome.

Personally, I think this product is more like a novelty thing and not to be taken seriously. No one actually wants their baby to look sexy (save for Jon Benet's parents and the lowest of the low of pedophiles).

A lot of people are claiming that this is just another in a long line of products meant to sexualize children (hello Tesco's pole dancing kit) but I think these shoes were probably created in the spirit of dressing up babies in little cow and monkey outfits and hats with floppy ears.

Although granted, it does register slightly on the creepy scale. I mean, ask anyone who knows me and they'll tell you what a shoe-o-phile I am, but I may have to draw the line at high heels on babies.

And besides, my poor future kids are already going to be scarred enough after I make them wear those shirts with sayings like "My other car seat is in a Porsche."

But meanwhile, since these shoes are still on the shelf, we can have lots of fun making jokes, such as:

Heelarius: Endorsed by Lynn Spears and Dina Lohan

Tired of your baby being so short? Try Heelarius.

Buy a pair of Heelarius and get a push-up onesie half-off.