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How to save Fido when the Rapture hits
By AprillBrandon in Pop Goes the Culture
August 18, 2009

It's a question that has kept many of us up at night. When the Rapture finally comes, what, oh what, is a person to do about their beloved pets who are left behind on earth?

Well, never fear. There is a company that is already all over this, folks.

Now, I'm not sure if this is a massive joke, a massive hoax or a legit deal, but all I know is that it's so awful and so awesome, the only way to describe it is awfsome.

A company called Eternal Earthbound Pets, USA is made of up of a group of animal-loving atheists who, for a small fee, will take care of your beloved Fido and Mr. Fluffy Poo once you are taken up to heaven during the Rapture.

I know. I told you.

On their Web site it says, and I quote, "Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus."

The company is active in 20 states so far, alas Texas is not one of them.

Their service plan is simple enough: "For $110.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $15.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged friends."

They even have a FAQ page, with answers to your most burning questions such as "Is this a joke?" (No) and "How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured?" (They have given us their word they are atheist in writing).

Wow. I mean, I'd make another joke or inappropriate comment here, but I really don't think I have to.