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Save Sparks! Keep people energized and drunk!
By AprillBrandon in Pop Goes the Culture
January 15, 2009

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Sure, it may taste like an orange popsicle dipped in rubbing alcohol and nutritionally is the equivalent of mixing a Red Bull with malt liquor, but does that mean Sparks should be outlawed?

For those who don't like to torture their heart and liver on a regular basis, Sparks is an orange caffeinated alcoholic beverage with such fun ingredients as ginseng and guarana. Popular (at least among my circle of acquaintances) among college students and broke 20-somethings, the drink was one of the first of its kind.

But now it has come under fire, thanks to the efforts of one Mr. Michael "I Take Myself Waaaay Too Seriously" Jacobson, the head of the Center for Science in the Public Interest. According to this article, Jacobson is trying to convince state attorney generals that Sparks is dangerous.

As the article states, "The CSPI convinced five states' attorneys general that the combination of energy and booze in Sparks was dangerous, and the attorney generals brought a lawsuit to MillerCoors. MillerCoors settled and agreed to take the energy ingredients out."

Boo.

What makes this even worse is that Jacobson is quoted as saying he is proud of the fact that CSPI can find something wrong with practically everything.

I for one have tried Sparks and while I don't necessarily recommend it unless there is an urgent need to pull an all-night drunk fest, I don't want some vegan whack job telling me what I can and cannot drink.

So it's unhealthy, in your opinion. Big whoop. So is the Big Mac. So are cheese sticks. So is...well, 90 percent of what Americans eat and drink.

STOP LEGISLATING OUR FOOD, YOU HIPPIES! And here's an idea. How about instead of declaring war on certain foods and drinks, you spend all your time and money educating people about healthy ways to eat and live.

But keep your guvmint lobbying hands out of my nasty caffeinated booze.

Throws down mic and steps down off soap box