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Teens on sexting: It's, like, totally lame
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It's no big secret that parents, law enforcement, judges and the like are all up in arms about the latest teen fad: sexting (re: sending naughty photos of yourself (re: nekkid) to your peers via cell phone).
I've written a couple of blogs on this topic before, mainly cause I found it outlandish that the punishment for this bit of youthful stupidity was, in many cases, being charged with felony child pornography and having to register as a sex offender for 50 bahjillion years (mind you, the kids are the ones getting charged...the kids that took the photo of themselves...are getting charged with pornography of themselves...ow, my head hurts).
But now, according to an article in the San Francisco Chronicle, all the hand wringing and moaning about sexting is all for naught. Most kids aren't doing it. In fact, to them, it's like, lame, dude. For real.
In one study, only 20 percent of teens said they posted nude or semi-nude photos of themselves via computer or cell phone. Which means 80 percent aren't.
And when author Anastasia Goodstein (who wrote "Totally Wired: What Teens and Tweens Are Really Doing Online") interviewed teens at a Texas high school recently, no one was even aware of the term or admitted to doing it.
Now, could these kids be lying? Well, of course. They're kids. Shoot, I still lie about some of my youthful indiscretions.
But that doesn't change the fact that people (re: adults) are overreacting over the issue, mainly over how to address it. Sex therapist Marty Klein, who was quoted in the article, sums it up best.
"I recognize that some teens are using sexting in a desperate attempt to be popular or liked and we need to address that sense of desperation with the kids themselves in a conversation.
"Hopefully, that adult would have the kind of conversation that is not about punishment or morality but asks first, 'What is on your mind and can we talk about it? Have you thought about the feelings of the boy or girl whose picture is getting sent around school?' But in order to have that conversation, we need to first understand sexuality is not bad."
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thewaywardwind --
April 11, 2009 at 2:08 p.m.Depending on the prosecutor. YES. It's happened before. A lot of it has to do with the exposure of the child's private areas. And the "focus" of the picture.
It is a shame that today's society seems to have removed parenting from it's roles and should in a lot of cases just call them sperm donor or egg donor instead of Dad or Mom. They let the kids run wild, do what they want and to whom they want. I try to be a good role model for my son, but I'll admit that I sometimes fall short. My joke with my son is that I think he'll be a good kid in spite of me instead of because of anything I did. It seems like kids main role models any more are rappers talking about what they want to do to women, what they smoking, shooting up or shooting at someone or who they killing while they are drinking or any combination of the above.
April 3, 2009 at 9:51 p.m.Dejasmom has a good point but ask your child one question when expressing disapproval of something your child is doing. "Would you honestly approve of this if YOUR child were the one doing it instead of you, or would you be embarassed if your child were caught trading those pictures?" See what their reaction to that would be. Kids today are in some ways no different than we were back then. They have no concept of how their actions now will affect them tomorrow.
It is a shame that today's society seems to have removed parenting from it's roles and should in a lot of cases just call them sperm donor or egg donor instead of Mom or Dad. They let the kids run wild, do what they want and to whom they want. I try to be a good role model for my son, but I'll admit that I sometimes fall short. My joke with my son is that I think he'll be a good kid in spite of me instead of because of anything I did. It seems like kids main role models any more are rappers talking about what they want to do to women, what they smoking, shooting up or shooting at someone or who they killing while they are drinking or any combination of the above.
April 3, 2009 at 9:50 p.m.Dejasmom has a good point but ask your child one question when expressing disapproval of something your child is doing. "Would you honestly approve of this if YOUR child were the one doing it instead of you, or would you be embarassed if your child were caught trading those pictures?" See what their reaction to that would be. Kids today are in some ways no different than we were back then. They have no concept of how their actions now will affect them tomorrow.
It is a shame that today's society seems to have removed parenting from it's roles and should in a lot of cases just call them sperm donor or egg donor. They let the kids run wild, do what they want and to whom they want. I try to be a good role model for my son. It seems like kids main role models any more are rappers talking about what they want to do to women, what they smoking, shooting up or shooting at someone or who they killing while they are drinking or any combination of the above.
April 3, 2009 at 9:48 p.m.Dejasmom has a good point but ask your child one question when expressing disapproval of something your child is doing. "Would you honestly approve of this if YOUR child were the one doing it instead of you, or would you be embarassed if your child were caught trading those pictures?" See what their reaction to that would be. Kids today are in some ways no different than we were back then. They have no concept of how their actions now will affect them tomorrow.
Thewaywardwind:
March 27, 2009 at 10:39 a.m.The article is about teens, but if you must; yes those nude pictures you take of your children including that precious picture at birth sent to grandma, once you hit the mail and airways you are fair game LEGALLY. I did not write the law.
Gal52223..."The guidelines, rules, and laws are out to protect the innocent. Nude pictures of minors is/are ILLEGAL---PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY WORD ----LOOK IT UP. "
March 24, 2009 at 5:48 p.m.Are you telling me that ALL the people who have nekkid pictures of their little darlin's on bear skin rugs are PORNOGRAPHERS?!?!?
You owe a lot of parents serious apologies.
March 24, 2009 at 1:43 p.m.The guidelines, rules, and laws are out to protect the innocent. Nude pictures of minors is/are ILLEGAL---PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY WORD ----LOOK IT UP. Some people may over look many things, but it does not mean, it is not illegal. Tell young people the truth. It is illegal.
If the laws of this land can have a trail for a 14 year old as an adult for murder, I'm sure they can have one for minor for passing around a minors nude picture.
Romonak, I think you misunderstood me. I do believe sexting is a big deal but I don't think we are handling it right. I don't think that a teen who takes a naked photo of themselves should be charged with child pornography. Now if they send it to a 30-year-old and that 30-year-old starts sending out the photo, then yes, that is child pornography. But I think for the teen, that is something that parents, and perhaps the school, should handle. I don't think a youthful bad decision should punish someone with the title of sex offender.
March 24, 2009 at 9:15 a.m.Would you really want law enforcement to put your child in jail on felony charges because they took a naked photo of themselves?
I don't think it's criminal for a 15-year old to be walking around with a picture of their own naked 15-year old body. Furthermore, I don't think that there's anything wrong with teenagers exploring their sexuality. I didn't wait until marriage, but because my parents aren't substandard human beings and actually raised me, I didn't rush in without protection either; my son wasn't born until after my 2nd anniversary, so it wasn't luck, it was planning. A planned parenthood, if you will. Teaching kids beforehand that there are consequences should be the goal anyway, not penalizing hormonally imbalanced, sexually confused kids for being hormonally imbalanced and sexually confused. The former of the two we can't combat without getting our kids "fixed," but some seem averse to that idea. The latter of the two is by our own design, due to conservative (not conservative like "Republican," conservative like "Ignorant") ideas about sex itself. I'm sure somewhere out there are couples who still have consensual sex in the missionary position for the purpose of reproduction only, and I wouldn't be surprised if it were their kids sending each other crotch shots in front of the mirror.
March 24, 2009 at 8:02 a.m.You don't think it's criminal for someone to be walking around with a picture of a naked 15 year old on their phone? Look up the charge of Child pornography. It's no different than if they were carrying around a picture of the same thing in their pocket.
March 24, 2009 at 5:13 a.m.No big deal you say? Wait until it's YOUR 15, 13, or 11 year old daughter. Wait till she is sending naked pics of her "areas" to her 30 year old crush. Then you would be crying to law enforcement about why they aren't doing anything!
Um, gal 52223, not entirely sure what you mean...
March 23, 2009 at 9:23 p.m.Aprill, I agree that adults do tend to overreact about things in a well-meaning but occassionally misguided attempt at protecting children from themselves and others. I am (as you know), protective of my daughter but I try to be level-headed about these things. You know, let her know I disapprove and the consequences of these actions, including damaged reputation, being picked on and/or ostracized by her peers, and possible death by mother. :) I also try to be understanding and realize that she's just learning who she is and is still growing into an adult and with that comes some growing pains, mistakes, whatever you want to call them. I think we as adults need to remember that we were once teens adn that our parents didn't kill us or condemn us or punish us for a bahjillion years for the mistakes we made. In a related note, Thanks Dad. I love you. I'll try to keep your teachings in mind while raising my daughter.
Wow only 20 %.
March 23, 2009 at 8:02 p.m.Hey like, its, totally pornography, or hey maybe its just illegal, no it could even be child pornography, oh of course because if you under 18 your parents are still responsible for you. Now that’s totally lame. Parents are legally, morally, and totally responsible for you in this country till you come of age. And for sure most of them love thier kids enough to know what, how, when their child can be really hurt.