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Tap, tap, tap…”Is this thing on?” (Insert whining feedback noise here.)

“Hi. My name is Kelli Rhea, and I’m a…” (No—that’s too cliché.)

Ahem…

“Hello! I’m Kelli Rhea! It’s nice to meet you!” (Booooring.)

Ummm…

“Okay. Let’s break the ice with a joke!” (Let’s not.)

Let me try this one more time…

So here we are… Welcome to my blog. Here at Quixotic Quicksand, you’ll find a whimsical array of anecdotes, observations, and thought-provoking messages, mixed with a little bit of original poetry here and there. While I can’t offer you a money-back or time-back guarantee, I can guarantee freshly trite, seriously comical, and daftly insightful posts several times a week. I look forward to digitally conversing with you very soon…

(Insert typed feedback below.)