Blogs » Quixotic Quicksand » An Anti-P.R.O.P.s Tale: What's the Big, Hairy Idea?


As we wind down from the delightful repasts of the Thanksgiving holiday, I am inspired to write about a rather unsavory trend that I’ve observed in many of the eating establishments in the Victoria area.

Over the weekend, I sat down in front of my television to enjoy some takeout from a local chili parlor whose name begins with a Z. My mouth watering with anticipation, I opened my Styrofoam container to witness a heaping pile of happiness.

However, upon a more detailed inspection of my chili-covered chips, I noticed (insert clichéd horror movie music here)…a hair. A long, black human hair.

Since no one in my household has long, black hair, I presumed that this hair belonged to the preparer of the food. I feel comfortable in this presumption because this sort of hair incident isn’t the first I’ve encountered at this restaurant. The employees don’t even wear hairnets.

What gives? Why did we stop caring about the quality of service we provide to our customers, who are the lifelines of our businesses?

If I were to boycott every restaurant in town from which I have received hair-infested food, I’d have nowhere to eat. You wanna know where else I’ve been served food a la coiffeur? Check out my ever-growing list (which doesn’t mention any names directly):

The aforementioned chili parlor…2 occurrences on 2 separate visits
The Mexican restaurant whose name means “The Estate” and is located right outside the Victoria Mall…2 occurrences, on the same visit!
The chicken place whose name begins with a G and is located next to Drug Emporium…1 occurrence
The popular submarine sandwich chain franchise located near Cactus Canyon…At least 2 occurrences on at least 2 separate visits (the hair was baked right in with the bread—how convenient!)

I’m sure I could continue if my memory served me better. However, the point is this: Food service people, stop being so sloppy. Treat each customer as if he or she were a loving member of your own family. After all, you wouldn’t want your dear mother choking on one of your hairs, would you? Didn’t think so.

Thank you, and Happy Holidays.