Blogs » Quixotic Quicksand » Fit to be Tired

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There’s something admirable to be said about going to the gym. As I arrive at my Mecca of fitness, I feel proud of myself for making the effort to live a healthy lifestyle. I walk through the gym’s doors, and my anticipation level rises quickly as I head to the cardio machines.

The elliptical cardio machine—my friend, my mentor, my pathway to a stronger heart and lungs. I depend on this machine to get me warmed up. I begin to sweat a little bit after a few minutes—a sign of progress. Too bad my legs feel sort of like Jell-O when my 20 minutes are finally up.

It’s okay, though. I know I’m getting a good workout when I get that Jell-O feeling. My wobbly legs carry me over to the next machine on my circuit, the leg press. Oh, the leg press. I love to hate that machine. I love the results I get from using it, but I hate the fact that it increases my heart rate to what feels like 300 beats per minute. I’m sweating more now, but hey, that’s part of exercise, right?

Now it’s time for lunges. What a work out these lunges are! I can really feel my hamstrings working as I take each weighted step methodically. After the first set I ask myself, “Do I really have to do THREE sets of these things?”

As I complete my second set of lunges, I can hear my knees cracking under mounting pressure and fatigue. And where is all of this SWEAT coming from? This is crazy—look at it! The stuff is all over me. What was once spring-fresh Lycra is now sopping-wet discomfort! Gross.

Third set of lunges. This exercise stuff is overrated. All it does is wear me out. I can barely make it to the end of the set before I’m wheezing. I’m…almost…there…Need…to…set…weights…down… THUD! I drop my weights in fatigue and disgust. I don’t have the strength to put them back on the rack.

I certainly don’t feel healthy and vibrant now. I don’t even have the energy to drive my car home. What am I doing here? Can anyone give me a ride to the nearest Marble Slab?