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To use the AC or not, that is the question
By dwray in The nature of things
September 19, 2011

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Last week, I made a terrible mistake. Traditionally, I avoid opening my electric bill until I absolutely, they-are-going-to-turn-it-off-tomorrow have to.

Most of the time I try to keep my expectations protected by a hard candy shell of cynicism about things like bills. If something can go wrong, it will. You can count on people to do the wrong thing every time. No, we can't all just get along. Yes, that coffee is, in fact, decaf and if that bill might be astronomically high it definitely will be.

But last Tuesday optimism burbled up and busted on through. Why not open the bill now, I thought to myself. The bill might not be that bad. It might even be shockingly affordable since my refrigerator had been turned off for the past two weeks (it kept making a sound like a possessed goat).

So I ripped it open. And promptly emitted a shriek worthy of The Bride of Frankenstein. It was bad. It was so awful I'm surprised my hair didn't get some cool lightening bolt streaks up the sides.

My mind was reeling from the shock. What had I done to run up a bill like this? Well, then I remembered the air conditioner.

I haven't always been the AC junky I am right now. Once upon a time, I even lived basically without it, aside from a clattering window unit that didn't work very well.

After getting the bill, I tried to be good and keep it just below 80 degrees, but then night would roll around and I'd find myself standing there at 2 a.m. waiting for the temperature to hit 65. Which was how I got an electric bill that would leave Marie Antoinette with eyebrows raised in alarm in the first place.

Well, anyways, Stan Cox, this guy from Kansas, is saying we should live without AC. He even wrote a book about it. I admit, he seemed to have a point. After all, people all over the world live without the benefit of that sharp cold refrigerated feeling. Besides all of this AC is putting tons of emissions and that's no good.

I'm thinking about it, and I think I'm going to try a life with no AC. Just as soon as the temperature dips below 75 degrees. Then, I'll just crank up the heater and watch The Bride of Frankenstein again. I do love that movie.